Leather and Lace
by Addie Logan
Summary: A different take on the relationship between Wolverine and Sabretooth (Not Slash, AU)
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: We don't own these people.  Get over yourself, bub.

Rating: Strong R for language, violence, mature themes, nudity, and sexual content!

Summary: What if Logan was a woman?  Read and find out… ^_^

Author's Note: This is an AU, so all comments about how we messed up the X-universe will be disregarded and we will laugh at you for a very long time.  

Feedback and Archiving: addie_logan@yahoo.com 

Shameless Webpage Plug: 

Leather and Lace

By: Addie Logan & GambitGirl

*** *** ***

**_She follows the path of least resistance  
She doesn't care to see the mountain top  
She twists and turns with no regard to distance  
She never comes to a stop  
  
And she rolls, she's a river  
Where she goes, time will tell  
Heaven knows, he can't go with her  
And she rolls, all by herself  
All by herself  
  
He's headed for a single destination  
He doesn't care what's standing in his path  
He's a line between two points of separation  
He ends just where it says to on the map  
  
And he rolls, he's a highway  
Where he goes, time will tell  
Heaven knows, she can't go with him  
And he rolls, all by himself  
All by himself  
  
And every now and then, he offers her a shoulder  
And every now and then, she overflows  
And every now and then, a bridge crosses over  
It's a moment that every lover knows  
  
And she rolls (and he rolls), she's a river (he's a highway)  
Where she goes (where he goes), time will tell (time will tell)  
Heaven knows, she can't go with him (he can't go with her  
And she rolls, all by herself  
And he rolls, all by himself  
  
Fare thee well _**


	2. Chapter One

**_She never mentions the word addiction_**

**_In certain company_**

**_Yes, she'll tell you she's an orphan_**

**_After you meet her family_**

****

**_She paints her eyes as black as night, now_**

**_Pulls those shades down tight_**

**_Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,_**

**_The pain's gonna make everything alright_**

****

**_Says she talks to angels,_**

**_They call her out by her name_**

**_She talks to angels,_**

**_Says they call her out by her name_**

****

**_She keeps a lock of hair in her pocket_**

**_She wears a cross around her neck_**

**_Yes, the hair is from a little boy_**

**_And the cross is someone she has not met, not yet_**

****

**_Says she talks to angels,_**

**_Says they all know her name_**

**_Oh yeah, she talks to angels,_**

**_Says they call her out by her name_**

****

**_She don't know no lover,_**

**_None that I ever seen_**

**_Yes, to her that ain't nothing_**

**_But to me, yeah me,_**

**_It's everything_**

****

**_She paints her eyes as black as night now_**

**_She pulls those shades down tight_**

**_Oh yeah, there's a smile when the pain comes,_**

**_The pain's gonna make everything alright, alright yeah_**

****

**_She talks to angels,_**

**_Says they call her out by her name_**

**_Oh yeah, yeah, angels_**

**_Call her out by her name_**

**_Oh, angels_**

**_They call her out by her name_**

**_Oh, she talks to angels_**

**_They call her out_**

**_Yeah, they call her out_**

**_Don't you know that they call her out by her name_**

Logan arrived at the mansion, parking her Land Cruiser between Scott's dorkmobile compact and Remy's latest bright red sports car.  She grabbed her small duffle bag out of the rear and headed for the kitchen entrance.  As she was about to push the door inwards she smelled someone approaching from behind.  Logan turned slightly.

"Hi, Cajun."

"Hey dere," said Remy, stepping from the shadows.  "How was th' trip?"  

"Same as always."

"Dat's nice.  Uh, Logan?"

"What?"

"I…uh…" Remy ran a hand through his floppy hair.  "I don' t'ink you should go in dere."

"In where?"

"De mansion."

"And why is this, exactly?  Scott and Jean turn it into a yuppie-filled day spa?"

"Non…it be worse den dat, chère."

"Really?  Now this I gotta see…"  Logan again started to open the kitchen door.

_"NON!"_

"For Chrissake, Remy, what's the matter with you?"  Remy inserted himself between Logan and the door.  

"Chère, jus' trust me on dis one, okay?  Mebbe you got to de Inn for de night, come back tomorrow, oui?"

"I don't have any clean underwear."

"Umm…I give you money t'buy more.  Jus' stay away from here."  Logan pretended to think it over, then gave Remy a hard shove with her hip and darted inside as he stumbled.  Once she entered the kitchen she stopped dead.  She sniffed once, twice, her delicate nostrils flaring.  

_SNIKT!_

She whirled to face Remy.  "Where is he?!"

"Chère…"  Logan let out an enraged growl and made a beeline for the lower levels of the mansion.  Remy sighed and hit the comm. by the kitchen door.  "It's me.  Logan jus' got back.  Yeah, I know.  I be right dere."  He released the switch and sighed again, knowing he would find nothing but an ugly scene when he reached the holding cells.

Logan stormed into the lower levels of the mansion, hell-bent on making her way to the brig. 

"Logan, just calm down…"

Logan froze, her blue eyes narrowing. "Outta my way, red. Something tells me Scott wouldn't take too kindly to me gutting his wife."

Jean's eyes grew a little wide. "There's no need for violence…"

"What is he doing here?"

"It's complicated…"

Logan pushed Jean to the side. "Then let me get rid of your little complication."

"Logan!"

Jean tried to run after her, but the other woman was already to the brig before she could stop her. 

Logan came to a stop before the glowing red force field that marked the first holding cell.  The figure inside was mostly shadowed, but there was no mistaking who it was.  Logan spat the word at him. 

"Creed."

Victor Creed's mouth formed an almost-psychotic grin. "Hello, runt. Long time no see."

"Not long enough."

"I was wonderin' when you were gonna get back from your latest little escapade. Where was it this time, Logan? Romantic getaway in the Canadian Rockies with some guy you probably won't recognize a week from now?"

"Fuck you, Creed."

Victor just smiled. "You kept me waitin' too long, frail. I've been here two weeks already and I haven't seen yer hide in here once."

Logan's eyes grew a little wide at that. Two weeks and no one had said a thing to her. She'd have to yell at someone for that. Probably Remy. He was supposed to be the one that told her what everyone else was hiding from her…

At that moment Remy came barreling around the corner, followed by Cyclops and Xavier, as well as a cadre of other curious mansion dwellers.  Remy's shoulders slumped with relief when he saw that both parties were still on their respective sides of the force field and no blood had been shed.

"Welcome home, Logan," said Xavier gently.

"What the hell is this?!" Logan exploded, pointing an angry finger at Victor.  

"That is Sabretooth, Logan."

"No shit, Sherlock!  What's he _doing here?"  Scott stepped to the professor's shoulder._

"Sabretooth was badly wounded by Phoenix during a battle a few weeks ago, and he was brought back to the mansion."

Logan's thin black eyebrow went up.  "Since when have you people taken in the enemy like this was a fucking B&B?"

"Sabretooth has assured us he has a desire to be rehabilitated," said Xavier in the same soothing tone.  "I scanned his mind upon his incarceration and found that he is being truthful.  The holding cell is merely a safety measure until I can help him control his bloodlust."

"Sure," said Logan.  "And Toronto will play a hockey game in Hell."  

"Don't believe me, runt?" Victor rumbled from just over her shoulder.  Logan took a disdainful step away.  

"You are all idiots," she said succinctly, and stormed back the way she had come.  The curious onlookers parted quickly before her.  

"All right everyone, show's over," said Scott briskly.  "Go back upstairs."  He turned to Xavier.  "She's going to make trouble over this."

"When has she not?" said Xavier.  Scott's mouth quirked.  

"The runt doesn't bother me," said Victor from behind the field.  "In fact I kinda like havin' her around."  

"Nobody asked you," snapped Scott.  He turned on his heel and followed Logan's direction.  

"Please make an effort to get along," said Xavier to Victor.  Victor smiled.

"Ya know me, Prof.  I can play nice when I have to."

"I'll hold you to that."  Xavier wheeled away.

Logan was ripping dirty clothes out of her bag and slamming them vengefully into her laundry basket, still seething about her confrontation with Creed and his presence in the mansion.  His smell was everywhere, invading every corner, and she could hear his sardonic chuckle even though he was locked deep in the bowels of the mansion.  Was Xavier insane?  Victor was psychotic, a killer who could never be redeemed, and every person in the mansion was in danger while he was here.  

There was a tap on her door.  Logan flung it wide.  

"What!"

Tabitha Smith stepped back. She'd heard stories about Logan's anger, and she didn't feel like being too close to her if she was in one of her "moods." "Um, I wanted to talk to you about Victor."

Logan crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. "What about him."

"He really is trying to be good. He told me he doesn't want to hurt anybody anymore. He feels so bad about everything he's done."

Logan sighed. "Look, kid, I'm sure he seems really nice to you, but let me tell you now—for your own good—that that man is nothing but a homicidal maniac. He'll only let you close so it'll be easier for him to rip out your throat when he's ready to."

"He said you'd say that. But really, he's a changed man."

Logan suddenly had the same feeling she got whenever there was someone at the door trying to convert her to a new religion. "I know Victor Creed. I know how his mind works. You don't. So just run along and play with your dollies."

"Look, you don't know me! I'm not just some immature kid! I've been through all kinds of stuff!"

Logan sneered. "You have no idea what it is to be though 'stuff,' _Boom Boom_. Get the hell off my welcome mat."

"You don't have one…"

"Exactly." Logan slammed the door in her face and flopped back on the bed.


	3. Chapter Two

**_When the truth is found to be lies_**
    
    **_And all the joy within you dies_**
    
    **_Don't you want somebody to love, don't you_**
    
    **_Need somebody to love, wouldn't you_**
    
    **_Love somebody to love, you better_**
    
    **_Find somebody to love_**
    
    ****
    
    **_When the garden flowers baby are dead, yes and_**
    
    **_Your mind, your mind is so full of bread_**
    
    **_Don't you want somebody to love, don't you_**
    
    **_Need somebody to love, wouldn't you_**
    
    **_Love somebody to love, you better_**
    
    **_Find somebody to love_**
    
    ****
    
    **_Your eyes, I say your eyes may look like his_**
    
    **_Yeah, but in your head, baby, _**
    
    **_I'm afraid you don't know where it is_**
    
    **_Don't you want somebody to love, don't you_**
    
    **_Need somebody to love, wouldn't you_**
    
    **_Love somebody to love, you better_**
    
    **_Find somebody to love_**
    
    ****
    
    **_Tears are running down and down and down your breast_**
    
    **_And your friends, baby_**
    
    **_They treat you like a guest_**
    
    **_Don't you want somebody to love, don't you_**
    
    **_ Need somebody to love, wouldn't you_**
    
    **_Love somebody to love, you better_**
    
    **_Find somebody to love_**
    
    ****
    
    **Undisclosed Location**
    
    **Late 1960s  **
    
    "I think you'll be very happy with our little unit, Ms. Logan," said General Chasen as he walked ahead of her down a plain metal hallway.  They could have been in any government installation, anywhere in the world but Logan's enhanced senses told her they were deep underground.  
    
    "I guess we'll see," was all she said.
    
    "You're working with four of our top men," said Chasen.  "All exemplary service records like yours—on or off the record."
    
    Logan wasn't surprised this new covert team Chasen was auditioning her for had at least one black-book agent among them.  She just hoped he wasn't a psycho.  

She scanned the room, her eyes going slowly from person to person as she tried to size up her new teammates.  

Her eyes stopped on one for a moment. He was her type—other than the "just breathing" variety that she often found herself falling in with. He pulled his long black hair back in his hand, revealing his handsome features.

"Already got your sights set on the team pretty boy, eh frail?"

Logan jumped. No one could sneak up on her. She turned around slowly. "Who are you?"

The tall, blond man grinned. "They call me Sabretooth."

There was something unsettling about him, something Logan couldn't quite put her finger on. She wasn't sure if she should threaten his life or put a move on him. "They call me Wolverine."

"Aren't those little snarly things that run around the Canadian wilderness?"

Logan glared at him. "They can rip a man apart."

Sabretooth gave her a look that made her take a step back. "So can I, frail. So can I."

A week later they were called into a "team meeting" with Chasen and their field leader John Wraith.  Logan could tell Wraith had taken great pains to appear one of them, but he gave off an obsequious air unique to what Logan and her cohorts in Korea had contemptuously called "company men."  They were not to be trusted, just tolerated.  

"Welcome to Team X," Wraith began.  "This is a covert, top-secret black-bag group that will be carrying out highly sensitive missions vital to our nation's freedom.  Because of this, you will all observe strict security procedures.  This includes revealing no personal information to one another.  You will use code names for communication.  Please go around and introduce yourselves."

"What the fuck is this, first grade?" said Sabretooth sarcastically.

"Stow that talk or you'll be on a fast boat out of here," snarled Wraith, his handsome face suddenly contorting.  Sabretooth looked like he was going to fight back for a moment, but then he sprawled back in his chair like an indolent lion.

"Sabretooth," he said, grinning at Logan, something he did whenever she was in view.  It was really beginning to bother her.

"Silver Fox," said the handsome man Logan had noticed the first day.  

The blond man next to Silver Fox shifted in his chair.  He always seemed to have trouble sitting still.  "Maverick," he said in a German-accented voice.  Logan guessed he was a spy on loan from West Germany.

"Wolverine," she said quietly.  Sabretooth snorted.  

"Now that that's out of the way," said Wraith, "we will be running a training sim at 0600 tomorrow morning, then pairing you off into teams.  Assignments are already backing up."  He looked at Chasen, who nodded.  "Team dismissed."

"I've never worked with a woman before."

Logan looked up at Silver Fox, who had caught up with her in the hall leading away from the meeting room. "There's a first time for everything, bub."

Silver Fox grinned at her. "So how does a pretty girl like you get mixed up in an operation like this?"

Logan returned the smile. "The guy in the cowboy hat said no personal information."

Silver Fox smirked. "I guess that means you'll tell me no if I ask you out for a drink?"

"Well…"

Logan stopped when she felt something hit her shoulder. She looked behind her to see Sabretooth, one arm draped around her and the other around Silver Fox, as if the three of them were old friends. She pulled away angrily. "What the hell do you want?"

"Just makin' sure the two of you weren't exchanging any personal information. Wouldn't want anything to compromise the team."

Silver Fox stepped away, glaring up at Sabretooth. "I don't believe we were having a conversation that concerned you."

Sabretooth smirked. "But all Team X business concerns me. You can't be having secrets with just one other teammate now—there's no 'I' in team." He walked away, laughing to himself.

Logan glared at Sabretooth's back. "I don't like working with him. He gives off this creepy homicidal vibe."

"Most people like us do," Silver Fox said.

Logan smiled at Silver Fox. "You don't."

"So what about that drink?"

She glanced around, making sure there was no one there to hear her. "What they don't know won't hurt them."

The sun was barely over the tops of the evergreens, but Logan relished the cool air flowing through her lungs as she ran at top speed through the forest.  Loaded down with a gear belt and an M-16, any normal soldier would be hard pressed to keep up the flat-out sprint Logan was doing, but she enjoyed the feeling of her muscles burning and her heart pounding to keep up with her.  

The training sim was a 6-mile obstacle course over rough, hilly terrain, complete with trap pits, a river crossing and simulated enemy fire.  The hard rubber bullets stung, but Logan let them hit her—it was faster that dodging the gun turrets.  She knew she had beaten Silver Fox and Maverick, having long since left their scents behind, but Sabretooth she wasn't sure about.  He had slipped away into the trees as soon as the sounding gun had started.  

She could see the finish line just ahead, Chasen and Wraith standing there ready to clock their times. She'd be there in just a few more seconds, putting her ahead of the rest of the team.

Suddenly, Sabretooth strolled out of the woods right in front of her, walking as if he had all the time in the world. Logan ran past the finish line right after him, doubling over and trying to catch her breath.

"Moving a little slow there, runt?"

Logan glared up at him, wishing Chasen and Wraith were somewhere else so she could show Sabretooth just how frail she wasn't. "How'd you get here so quickly," she asked. "And without a mark on you?"

"Found a shortcut."

Wraith walked over to Sabretooth and Wolverine, handing them both a folder. "While the other boys take their sweet time getting down here, why don't you two suit up and go on your first mission."

"Why don't I just go on my own?" Sabretooth asked. "Better than bein' slowed down by female baggage."

Logan's eyes narrowed. "If anyone would be a liability it would be you, psycho."

Sabretooth just looked at her and laughed.

Wraith gave them both a stern look. "This is counterproductive. Suit up and move out before I fire you both and find someone who's more of a team player."

Sabretooth and Wolverine both continued to glare at each other, but said nothing.

Logan didn't know what time it was, or even what day, but it was pitch black when the Bell helicopter finally set down on the tiny pad outside the Team X compound.  Logan stumbled off the chopper, fighting to keep her eyes open.  She'd lost count of how many hours straight she'd been awake.  Sabretooth followed her, letting his gear pack drop heavily on the tarmac.  

"After a mission like that I could use a hot bath and a woman."  Logan just rolled her eyes.

"Who were those people?"

"Who gives a flyin' fuck?"

"Guess you're right…that report was pretty sketchy.  Nice how they forgot to mention the fifteen armed guards."

"They didn't forget, frail.  It was a test."  Logan looked back at him as the chopper lifted off.  It blew his long blond hair around his face, almost obscuring it.

"I don't like tests."

"Well, get used to it."  He walked past Logan, clapping a hand briefly on her shoulder.  "Ya backed me up and ya didn't wimp out.  Nice job."

"I'm not your backup!" Logan called after him.  He turned and gave her a wink over his shoulder.

"Whatever ya say, frail."

Logan couldn't help but look around the room one more time to make sure there wasn't anyone there who might recognize them.

"Wolverine, I told you, this place is remote. No one's going to look for us here. Just relax."

"We could get in trouble with the big wigs for this one."

Silver Fox grinned. "And I thought you were the kind of girl who liked trouble."

"What gave you that idea?"

"Probably the fact that you're here in the first place."

Logan winked at him as she walked up to the bar. "You got Molson's in this place."

The bartender gave her a toothless grin. "Sure do, ma'am." He grabbed a bottle from behind the bar and popped it open, sliding it down to Logan. 

"Thanks."

"And fer the gentleman?"

"Water."

Logan gave him a funny look. Who the hell went into a bar and ordered water?

"Yeah, we got that," the bartender said, his own look echoing Logan's.

Logan and Silver Fox went back to a booth, hidden from the other patrons in the bar. Not than any of them were paying them much attention anyway.

"So what's your real name?" Silver Fox asked.

"Doesn't that count as 'personal information?'" Logan said teasingly.

"I'll tell you mine."

"What is it?"

"Silver Fox."

Logan gave him a funny look. "That's your codename…"

"Yeah, I told them my real name was something else."

Logan smirked. "My name's Logan."

"Isn't that a boy's name."

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing, I guess. You have any name besides Logan."

"No. That's it. Take it or leave it."

Silver Fox reached over and stroked her cheek. "You make the name beautiful."

Logan smiled politely, but honestly she didn't want to be in that bar, drinking beer and making small talk. She didn't want the preliminaries—she wanted the main event. She'd been worked up ever since her mission with Sabretooth. She leaned forward across the booth, making sure Silver Fox could get a good look down her shirt. "I think I saw a hotel a few miles back up the road. Wanna go check it out."

Silver Fox raised an eyebrow. "Well, I…I'm not used to women being so forward."

Logan winked. "Does it bother you?"

"Um, no, I guess," he said, grabbing his wallet from his pocket to pay their tab. He threw the money table and took her hand, leading her out of the bar. 

Logan wished the car could go faster the whole way to the hotel. She'd been locked up in that Team X compound for too long. 

Silver Fox looked nervously around the small hotel room. He turned to Logan, trying to think of something romantic to say. "I…"

"Just shut up and kiss me," Logan said, pushing him onto the bed.

Silver Fox's eyes grew wide as he fell backwards, but he soon decided to just go with the flow.

After all, it promised to be an interesting night.

"And just where the hell have you been?"  Logan turned to see Wraith standing behind her, arms crossed.  She hated have a boss who was a teleporter.  It made sneaking around ten times harder.

"Out," she said, deciding not to lie.  Not totally, anyway.

"There are strict directives about leaving the compound, Wolverine.  I'm afraid I'll have to call the general."

"Aw, don't get yer panties in a bunch, John," said Sabretooth's gravelly voice from behind her.  "She was with me."  Logan turned, her mouth opening.

Sabretooth was clad only in an undershirt and sweatpants, looking as if he'd spent the night rolling around in a hayloft.  For all Logan knew he might have.  

"What are you saying?" demanded Wraith.  

"We were downstairs in the rec room playin' poker," said Sabretooth.  "Ya know," he leaned in towards the shorter man.  "Special poker."  Logan felt heat creep up her cheeks and she opened her mouth to protest.  Sabretooth's index talon poked her in the small of the back.  "Shut up, runt," he muttered so only she could hear.

"Fine, but next time you don't check in by lights out you'll be disciplined, Wolverine."  He turned and went into his office.  Logan looked up a Sabretooth.

"Uh, thanks…" she started.

"Aw, Christ, don't get all sentimental," scoffed Sabretooth.  "Now ya owe me.  If I need ya to cover my ass some night ya better be there."  He shuffled off barefoot towards the kitchen.  Logan blinked tired eyes and went to her room to sleep.


	4. Chapter Three

**_Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man, yeah  
Didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can ?  
Honey, you know I did!  
And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough  
But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough   
  
I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it  
Take it!  
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby  
Oh, oh, break it!  
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Oh, oh, have a!  
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby  
You know you got it if it makes you feel good  
Oh, yes indeed   
  
You're out on the streets looking good  
And baby deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right  
Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night  
Babe, I cry all the time!  
And each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain  
But when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again   
  
I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on and take it  
Take it!  
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby  
Oh, oh, break it!  
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah  
Oh, oh, have a!  
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby  
You know you got it child, if it makes you feel good   
  
I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it  
Take it!  
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby!  
Oh, oh, break it!  
Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, c'mon now  
Oh, oh, have a  
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby  
You know you got it  
  
Take it!  
Take it, take another little piece of my heart now, baby,  
Oh, oh, break it!  
Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,  
Oh, oh, have a  
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey  
You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good_**

"So Silver Fox, is she as good as she looks?"

Victor froze in the shower. This was something he didn't want to hear. He didn't know why he should care who was banging Wolverine, since it was obvious the woman wasn't exactly chaste to begin with, but he didn't like the idea that Silver Fox was probably about to brag.

"Better, Maverick," Silver Fox replied with a grin, rinsing shampoo out of his long black hair. "She does this thing with her tongue…"

"That's enough, Fox," Sabretooth growled, snatching a towel as he stalked out of the shower. "The last thing I want is a mental image of that scrawny runt naked."

Silver Fox sneered, getting out of the shower himself. "Are you sure it's not just a little jealousy? After all, you and Wolverine seem to have gotten awfully close these past couple months."

Sabretooth roared, grabbing Silver Fox by his throat and slamming him into the wall. "We're just partners, ya little fuck."

Silver Fox rubbed his neck as Sabretooth dropped him back to the ground. "Yeah, just partners."

Sabretooth snarled before storming out of the locker room, unphased by his state of undress.

Maverick looked down at Silver Fox and frowned.

"I'm sorry I brought it up."

Logan looked over at Sabretooth as he sharpened his claws on the edge of a bowie knife. "Everything okay with you?"

He shot her a dirty look. "Peachy."

She lifted a box of guns and ammo into the truck, then went over to where Sabretooth was sitting. "Well, I know it isn't a lack of good sex. This heightened sense of hearing isn't much of a blessing when you live next to you, Casanova."

Sabretooth rolled his eyes. "Like you should talk. A few times I've wondered if maybe I should run over there and make sure your little boyfriend ain't killin' ya, the way you scream."

Logan gave him a dirty look. "Pervert."

"You started it, runt."

Logan decided it was time for a change of topic. "So it looks like we're paired up again for a mission."

"Yeah, they seem to like to do that." He grinned. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were full-fledged partners."

Logan smirked. "I guess I can think of worse people to work with."

In the belly of the B-52, Logan and Sabretooth sat in silence.  Sabretooth claimed that talking before missions made him edgy and Logan had a lot on her mind.  The hours-long flight could only mean one destination, a tiny war-torn peninsula halfway around the world.  It always felt like she was leaving a part of her behind when she went into the jungle, like part of her still lingered with Silver Fox back in the mountain compound.  

She didn't like the feeling…it wasn't longing for a lost love, it was more like a nervous twinge in the back of her head.  She couldn't focus, and that was dangerous in combat.  Sabretooth was counting on her.

Sabretooth glanced over at Wolverine. He wondered what she was thinking, if she was nervous about the mission, or if she was thinking about the kind of greeting she'd give that pretty boy of hers when they got home.

He stopped short. What was he doing? Since when did he give a damn about what anyone else was thinking?

He wanted the damn contraption they were stuck in just to land so he could kill something. It had been too long since he'd gotten to sink his claws into someone. 

If he was honest with himself, he'd admit that when the time came to kill again, all his victims would bear Silver Fox's face.

Logan's heart thudded against her ribs as she tore through the jungle, bullets ripping the foliage to shreds all around her.  She swung around and returned fire with her M-16, screaming over the gunfire to the running man behind her.  "Sabretooth, MOVE IT!"  She cursed him silently—he always had to stay as long as he could at the site of the kill, make sure every last target was nothing more than a bloody smear.  It was that insatiable urge of his that had made them moving targets for a 35-strong unit of Viet Cong guerilla soldiers, now chasing them through the dense, muggy jungle towards their rendezvous point.  

Logan tumbled out of the trees as Team X's Chinook set down in a small clearing, blades kicking up leaves and dust.  She turned as she swung into the cargo hold, making sure Sabretooth was still behind her.  He was almost in the chopper when a blast of automatic fire slammed into his back, spraying Logan's tank top with blood and bone.  Sabretooth grunted and pitched forward, managing to grab a hold of the lip of the cargo bay as the chopper lifted off unevenly.  Logan grabbed his arm and hauled him inside, leaving a bloody smear across the steel floor.  

Sabretooth ripped off what was left of his shirt, letting the bullets fall from his skin to the floor of the chopper. He looked over at Logan, his usual grin shifting to something other than psychotic. "Y'know, runt, fighting beside you is almost better than sex."

Logan looked at him in disbelief. "I can't believe you just said that."

"You know it's true, darlin'."

"I am not your darlin'," Logan growled, wiping away the blood that was dripping in her eyes. 

Sabretooth blinked. "Hey, that's a lot of blood there," he said, changing the subject. "You all right?"

"Most of it's yours."

"Ah. Well, that's good."

Logan sat back against the wall, staring forward. Sabretooth sat beside her. She looked at over him, realizing just how close she'd gotten to him in the past few months that she'd been with Team X. They'd fought side by side, put their lives in each others hands, and she didn't even know his name. She voiced the thought aloud, asking him, but still staring forward.

"Victor," he replied, also staring forward. "Victor Creed."

"Logan."

"Nice t'meet ya," Sabretooth said, patting her leg. 

"You, too." Logan realized suddenly how good he smelled. 

She scooted away.

Logan was glad once they got back to the base. She'd had enough blood and jungle for one day.

She leaned down, picking up her pack. Victor stood behind her, smirking. Logan turned around, glaring at Sabretooth. "What are you looking at?"

"Yer ass."

Logan rolled her eyes. "You have issues."

"Tell me about it."

She started to walk away, but Victor grabbed her arm. "Hey."

"What?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, combing his talons through the long, black strands. "Hey."

"You already said that."

"Yeah. Um, I…" For once, Sabretooth couldn't think of anything to say, sarcastic or otherwise. He felt Logan tremble beneath his hand, and he moved closer, his lips almost touching hers.

"Wolverine!"

Logan jumped back at Silver Fox's voice and the pounding on the hull of the helicopter. She glanced back at Victor, but he'd already pulled away.

She walked out into Silver Fox's waiting arms. He grabbed her and spun her around, kissing her passionately. "I missed you, baby."

"I missed you, too."

"You two loverbirds better be careful. Someone might see that who you don't want to."

Logan glanced over at Victor, who nodded at her before walking out.

She couldn't figure out why being with Silver Fox suddenly made her feel guilty.


	5. Chapter Four

**_I am watching the rise and fall of my salvation  
There's so much shit around me  
Such a lack of compassion   
I thought it would be fun and games (would be  
fun and games)  
Instead it's all the same (it's all the same)  
I want something to do  
Need to feel the sickness in you   
  
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again  
Its quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made  
me bad  
  
All I wanna do it look for you  
And when I fix, you needed to  
Just to get some sort of attention  
  
What does it mean to you?  
For me its something I just do  
I want something  
I need to feel the sickness in you  
  
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again  
Its quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made  
me bad   
   
Just made me bad_**

"Victor?"  Tabitha stared into the darkness of his cell.  She saw his huge form stir and come forward.

"Whatcha got for me, Tabby?  Roast beef?"  Tabitha nodded and passed the large sub through the food slot.  

"Extra meat, just like you ordered."

"Beautiful."  He took the sub in both hands and proceeded to consume it in three bites.  "Sure beats the crap the X-geeks've been feedin' me."

"Hey, I'm one of those 'X-geeks'."  He chuckled low in his throat.  

"I've been around 'em enough to know they never let small fry like you go inta battle, Tabby.  Betcha that burns ya up, huh?"

Tabitha held her head up high. "That isn't true. I'm as tough as any of the X-Men?"

"Then why they have ya babysittin' me instead of playin' with the big kids?"

"They don't make me come down here, Victor. I liked to. I like talking to you."

"Do ya now? And why's that?"

Tabitha blushed a little. "I don't know. I just…I just do."

Victor smirked. He had her right where he wanted her. "I like you, too, you know."

Tabitha brightened a little. "You do?"

"Yeah." Victor signed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just hard, being in this cage all the time. I want to prove to them that I can be something other than a killer, but they won't give me a chance."

"Logan really hates you. Why is that?"

"I don't know," Victor said, doing his best to look sad. "We used to really mean something to each other, but she just threw it all away for no reason."

Tabitha looked almost like she was about to cry. "That's so sad."

"It's one of the reasons why I hurt so much inside."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"  Tabby's huge blue eyes were eager to please, and Victor smiled in what he hoped was a winning manner as he reeled her in for the kill.  

"Ya could let me go for a walk."

"A walk?"

"Yeah. A man like me needs fresh air, not a dark, cold cell. This place might end up making me worse, not better." He gave her his best attempt at puppy-dog eyes.

Tabitha didn't hesitate at pressing the code to deactivate the force field. Victor smiled stretching his limbs. "That feels nice. Thanks there, Tabby Cat." He grinned his trademark psychotic grin right before he smacked Tabitha into the wall.

Tabitha saw bright lights explode across her vision as her head impacted with the steel wall.  She slid to the floor, feeling it vibrate as Victor strolled out of the holding area and down the hall.  Tabitha's thin arm reached upwards, feeling for the comm. button.  "Logan…help…" she gasped before passing out.

Upstairs in the living room, Logan had been quietly reading, trying to ignore Bobby and Kitty fighting over MTV vs. A&E.  She was the only one to hear Tabitha's gasp from the small speaker in the corner of the room, and she knew instantly where the emergency had occurred.

The collected works of Shakespeare landed on the floor behind her as Logan raced for the holding cells.  

Victor was hoping he could make it out of the mansion without a fuss, but no sooner had he reached the elevator than the obnoxious alarm klaxons began to sound.  He guessed he hadn't hit Tabitha as hard as he thought.  He stood patiently in front of the elevator and waited for the costumed freaks to pour out.

He was surprised to see only Logan, dressed in tight jeans and a t-shirt.  She had her claws out, and the stark, hateful look she seemed to only wear around him.  "I knew it," she hissed.  Victor spread his arms.

"Ya got me, darlin'.  Take me in."  He smiled, inviting her to a fight.  Logan reached behind her and hit a switch in the elevator.  The door slid shut and a red light went on above the car.

"I am not," said Logan slowly, "your darlin'."  She took a step towards him—if she had been his height they would have been nose to nose.  "Now I'm gonna finish something that should have ended a long time ago."

Kitty and Bobby ran to the elevator, Bobby pushed the down button several times. "What the heck is wrong with this thing?"

Kitty pointed up. "Um, the elevators are offline."

"At a time like this? What are the odds?"

Kitty looked at him like he was an idiot. "Pretty high considering Logan probably shut them off."

"Oh. Yeah, well, that makes sense."

"We're the only other ones in the mansion, aren't we?"

Bobby turned pale. "There's no one to protect us from the homicidal maniacs?"

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Come on, we can't get down there and do something about this, but at least we can monitor what's going on from the camera room. Maybe we can get a hold of Scott, too."

Logan slowly advanced on Victor, who surprisingly took a step back to match her.  Logan realized after a moment he was drawing her into the wide hallway that ran outside the Danger Room—a dead end, with no exits.  The perfect place for a battle to the death. 

Logan didn't waste time—she launched herself at Victor, intent on cutting him to pieces.  He sidestepped her and she felt his talons rip across her back.  Because of her speed against his superior reach, they were usually perfectly matched, but Logan knew her anger was getting the better of her in this case—that had been an easy hit.  

Victor roared as she spun and jammed her claws into his side up to the hilt, feeling flesh rend and ribs crack under her assault.  She followed up by slamming her knee into his kidneys, hearing a refreshing clank and a moan of pain from her opponent.  

Bouts with Victor could go on for hours, until one or both of them had lost too much blood to stay upright, but this one ended as suddenly as it had begun, with Logan gaining the upper hand.  She slammed Victor into a steel wall with a knee to the gut, holding him there with a claw on either side of his face.  Panting, she stared into his eyes, almost black from rage and pain.  

"I win," she ground out.  

"Guess you do," he panted.  "Ain't ya gonna finish the job?"

"You're going to a real prison this time, Creed—a black hole in the Vault for the rest of your life."

He started to laugh, his bloody chest shaking droplets onto Logan.  "That's the best ya can do, runt?  Threaten me with a little kitten growl? If you were really as tough as you let on, you'd have that last claw out."  Logan's eyes narrowed.

"Don't tempt me."

"No one's stoppin' ya."  Logan growled again.

"I won't give you the satisfaction."

"I dare ya."

"Shut up!"

"C'mon runt, do it!"  Victor wrapped his huge hand around the wrist Logan held to his throat.  "Do it."

"I'm not like you!"

"That's a laugh.  We're two sides of the same coin, Logan.  We're the same."  His grip could have crushed normal bone. "Do it!"

Logan gritted her teeth, feeling the red rage bubbling to the surface and fighting to keep it at bay.

"Do it!"

She couldn't…it would make her no better than the murderer in front of her.

"Do it!"  He bared his fangs into her face.  "Silver Fox woulda killed me, runt."

Logan let out a sound of pure rage.  Victor smiled.  "That's the spirit runt!  Do it!"

"I hate you!" Logan screamed.

"Then do it!"

_SNIKT!  _


	6. Chapter Five

**_At my door the leaves are falling   
A cold wild wind has come  
Sweethearts walk by together  
And I still miss someone  
  
I go out on a party  
And look for a little fun  
But I find a darkened corner  
because I still miss someone  
  
Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes  
I see them every where  
I miss those arms that held me  
When all the love was there  
  
I wonder if she's sorry  
For leavin' what we'd begun  
There's someone for me somewhere  
And I still miss someone_**

"I don't want you going on that mission next week with Sabretooth."

Logan rolled over, looking at the man lying beside her in the bed. "Why not?"

"Because whenever you go on a mission without the whole team, you go with him."

"Well, he is my partner."

Silver Fox took a deep breath. "I should be your partner."

"You're my lover. It's a different thing."

"Well it shouldn't be! You have a connection with him that you don't have with me."

Logan sighed. "We kill people together. I don't think you can exactly call that a 'connection.'"

"But you have that mutant thing, too—with the sniffing."

"Sniffing?!"

"Yeah. And the healing."

"Where is this going?"

"I think you should ask Wraith for different assignments—ones that don't always involve _him_."

"No fucking way!"

"Why not?"

"Because we work well together! I'm not going to compromise the team over your petty jealousy!"

"It isn't petty! For all I know you're fucking him behind my back."

Logan jumped out of the bed, grabbing her clothes and putting them on haphazardly. "I can't believe you'd accuse me of that," she snapped.

"It's a valid concern, Logan. How many men were there before me?"

"You're being a dick."

"How many?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does."

Logan threw her arms up in the air. "Why are you suddenly being so possessive?"

"I just want to know what kind of woman I'm dealing with."

Logan glared at him. "How many women for you?"

He met her eyes. "Three."

She blanched. "That's it?"

"I don't take these things lightly."

"Are you implying that I take us lightly?"

Silver Fox sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just sex to you."

"Then why do I keep coming back, huh?"

"Because you can't have Sabretooth?"

"Drop it with him! Dammit, why do you do this? Why can't you just live in the day, accept what it is that we have for what it is?"

"Because I want a life past this! I want a wife—a mother for my children—not a woman who falls into bed with every man she can get her claws into."

Logan turned around, slamming the door behind her.

Wraith was in the hallway. She glared at him. "I'm fucking him. Got a problem with that?" Wraith started to say something, but decided against it. Logan stormed down to her room, slamming the door behind her.

She fell on her own bed, unable to stop the tears from coming. What if Silver Fox was right? What if she was that kind of woman? She didn't want to be. Even with all her lovers, she wanted something more than one-night stands. 

"Ya in there, runt?"

Logan groaned. That's just what she needed, him seeing her like this. "Go away, Sabretooth."

Victor came in anyway. "You know, if you want people to stay out, you should really try locking your door."

"Fuck off."

"No." He sat down beside her on the bed. "What did he say to you?"

"None of your goddam business."

"Want me to smack him around?"

"No." She paused for a moment. "But thanks."

She sat up, her eyes still red and puffy. Victor froze. He didn't know how to handle a woman when she cried. "Uh, you need a hug or something?"

The idea of Sabretooth offering her a hug was so absurd that Logan had to laugh. "I think I'm okay."

"The offer to smack him around still stands."

"I know."

Victor took a deep breath. He was out of his element. Women were for sex, not consoling. He looked over at her. She was disheveled, and her face was splotchy from tears. "You're beautiful."

Logan's head snapped up, and he realized he'd said that out loud. Victor's eyes grew wide. "I…um…I…"

Logan laughed. "I look like shit."

"Nah, you don't. I've woken up next to women much less attractive." Logan glared. "Um, that came out wrong."

"I've never seen this side of you before, Victor. You're almost sweet."

He looked offended. "Sweet! Ha! I'm just trying to charm you outta those tight pants of yours."

Logan rolled her eyes. "You're impossible."

"It's what makes you want me so much."

"I do not want you!"

"Oh yeah?" Victor grabbed her, pulling her into a crushing kiss. Logan grabbed his hair, kissing him back harder. He pushed her back on the bed, his hands roaming her body freely.

Logan moaned, her body responding almost on instinct. She wanted him more than she had wanted anyone in a long time. But she couldn't. Silver Fox…

She pressed on Victor's chest. "No."

That was the one word he didn't want to hear. From her, it meant something. She was his partner. "He isn't good enough for you."

Logan looked away. "He's _too_ good for me."

Victor got up, knowing he had to leave before he did what every bit of him was screaming to do. "A false sense of honor doesn't make you worthy, darlin'."

When Victor left, Logan began to cry again.

"Logan?" Silver Fox entered her room long after lights out."  Logan had been staring at her wall for hours, wide awake.

  
"Go away."

"I will…I just need to, well, apologize."  Logan rolled over.

"What?"

"I was…uh…well…"

"A jerkoff," Logan mumbled.

"For lack of a better word.  I didn't meant to imply that…"

Logan sat up. "That what? That I'm no better than a common whore?"

Silver Fox turned red. "No, I didn't mean that." He knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his. "Logan, I didn't mean what I said. I'm just, well, insecure. You seem to share something with Sabretooth that you don't have with me. I don't want to lose you, Logan." He looked into her eyes. "I love you."

Logan started. "No man's ever told me that before."

"It's the truth. You mean so much to me. Look, I have a cabin up north. We both have some leave time coming up. Let's take it together, spend some time as I real couple. I want to show you what you mean to me."

Logan smiled. "I'd like that."

"Good." Silver Fox stood up and kissed her forehead. "You get some rest. You look like you could use it. I'll see you in the morning."

"Silver Fox?" Logan said softly.

He turned in the doorway. "Yes?"

"I…I love you, too."

He smiled before leaving her alone.

The next morning Logan was packing a jeep with camping supplies when she smelled a presence behind her.  "Hey, Victor."  

"Don't go with him."

She didn't look at him. "Why? Because I almost had sex with you? That was a mistake, a vulnerable moment."

"No. Don't go with him because he's an asshole. Look, I know I may not be the best guy in the world, but…"

Logan turned around. "Don't, Creed. You and I, we'd don't work like that. We can kill together, fine, but I know how to be something more than an animal from time to time."

Victor narrowed his eyes. "You know, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you are the kinda bitch that prick needs."

"Fuck you, Creed."

"Yeah, fuck you, Logan." He started to leave, but then turn back around. "You're a lot more fragile than you let on, runt. You aren't unbreakable, and he's going to be the one to break you. But when he does, don't come cryin' to me. I don't give a flyin' fuck about what happens to you." He sneered. "Animals don't care about partners or anyone else."

"Well I guess we're about equal then, since I don't care about you either!" Logan yelled.

Victor just rolled his eyes. "Have fun fucking his brains out this weekend. Hope for your sake he's still there in the morning to start building the white picket fence."

"At least he could give me a life, a family. You never could."

"Yeah, who would really want to." Victor walked away as Logan angrily stuffed the last of the supplies in the jeep.

Logan lay curled up next to Silver Fox as she watched the dying embers of the fire. She sighed happily, relishing the one moment of peace in her life. 

Silver Fox kissed the top of her head. "The fire's dying, baby."

She sat up. "I'll get some more firewood."

"No, let me, baby. I'm the man after all."

Logan kissed him. "Don't be silly. You got it last time. It's my turn."

Silver Fox knew there was no point in arguing with her. "All right, but hurry back. I'll worry about you if you're gone too long. It's dangerous out there, you know."

"I'm a big girl, I can get firewood and come back in one piece."

Silver Fox gave her hands a light squeeze. "I know, but I still worry about my baby." 

She kissed him. "I'll be home soon. I love you."

"I love you, too."

In the Team X compound, Victor restlessly stalked the halls, playing his last conversation with Logan over and over in his head.  How dare she treat him like that?  Hadn't he proven he was capable of being more than a vicious predator?

Victor wondered why he even cared, but the answer was obvious.  There was no denying his desire for Logan went way beyond a partnership.  Victor let out a growl and ran his sharp talons along the cement walls, flaking off paint.  He could have any woman, anywhere and yet the one that was right in front of him was unreachable.  Wasn't that just his rotten luck.

He ended up in the rec area.  The compound was deathly silent—Maverick was off somewhere cleaning his guns, and Wraith and Chasen had gone home.  Unlike the Team X operatives, they could actually go somewhere other than this rabbit hole.  

_So what's stoppin' you, Creed? he said to himself.  He should just go out, find a couple hookers and fuck Logan off his mind.  He sighed as he paced.  It wasn't that simple…he didn't want some sixteen year old who looked like her, he wanted __her.  Her smell, her face, her skin under his hands.  _

Victor let out a snarl of frustration and swept an abandoned game of checkers off the rec table.  His eyes lit on the small liquor cabinet in the corner—just enough booze to allow the team to relax, but not enough to get them into trouble.  Victor yanked open the doors and gathered up the bottles.  It wasn't enough to overcome his healing factor, but it was a start.  If he could numb himself enough, he could forget about Logan for tonight.

Logan brought the axe down hard into the block of wood. She'd been enjoying her time alone with Silver Fox, but she couldn't get her mind completely off Victor. She thought about what she'd said to him before she'd left and felt guilty. She hadn't had any room at all to call him an animal. He wasn't any less human than she was herself.

She set the axe down for a moment, wiping her hair away from her face. What did she want in life anyway? She loved Silver Fox. He gave her a sense of stability that no other man ever had before.

But Victor… She couldn't deny her attraction to him, no matter how hard she tried. Silver Fox had been right in one respect—there was a connection with Victor that she didn't have with him. But what was that connection? Was it the type that led to something long-term, something real?

No, it couldn't be. Victor wouldn't love her the way Silver Fox did, and that's what she really needed. 

She picked the axe back up and drove it through another block of wood.

The room swirled slowly around Victor as he let the last bottle drop out of his hands.  He had searched the entire compound until he'd found Chasen's private stash in his office.  More bottles of single-malt scotch than he could count, Victor was in a blurry area between reality and unconsciousness.

In this state, he was only mildly surprised when Chasen's office door swung open and a small, white rabbit stuck its head in.  It had large pink eyes and floppy ears.  

"How'd ya get in?" Victor slurred.  The rabbit hopped around his chair once, and then went back to the door, looking back at Victor as if to say, 'are you coming?'

It suddenly became perfectly clear to Victor what the rabbit wanted.  What _he _wanted.  He had to go get Logan back, get her away from Silver Fox, make her his…any way he could.

Victor parked his jeep crookedly downwind of Silver Fox's cabin.  It hadn't been hard to find.  He sat in the perfect dark, aware that the rabbit was still with him.  Presently the cabin door swung open and he saw Logan go out, down a path away from him.  Victor watched her disappear into the tree line, then looked at his traveling companion.  "Whaddaya think?  Should we go in?"

The rabbit twitched its nose.  Victor took that as a yes. 

Victor burst into the cabin, finding Silver Fox sitting in front of the fire. Silver Fox jumped up. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to get my woman," Victor growled.

"Who are you talking about?" Silver Fox asked. "Logan?"

"Damn straight." Victor lunged at Silver Fox, knocking him down and pinning him to the floor. "She should've been mine, pretty boy. She's my kinda woman—not yours."

"She's too good for the likes of you. Your kind of woman lives in a cave somewhere."

Victor roared, swiping his claws down on Silver Fox's face. Silver Fox screamed in pain, his vision blurred from the blood running into his eyes.  "You'll…you'll never have her…" he stuttered from between slashed lips.  "Even if you kill me, you can't have her."

"We'll see about that, punk."  Victor raised his claws and brought them down again and again, until the man once known as Silver Fox no longer looked like a man at all.

Logan was halfway back to the cabin when she heard Silver Fox scream.  She dropped the firewood and ran at a dead sprint back to the small dwelling.  

"Silver Fox?!"  Logan saw him as soon as she skidded to a stop in the doorway—or what was left of him.  "Oh dear god…" Logan's stomach bucked and she clapped a hand over her mouth.  Next to Silver Fox's flayed body she saw the form of Victor Creed, passed out face down on her floor but very much alive.  Hot tears began to gush from Logan's eyes, the scene before her simply too much to process.  

"Why…" she said from between her fingers.  "_WHY!" _she screamed at Victor's prone form.  But she was rooted to the spot, all her instincts that demanded she take revenge for her lover's death deserting her.  Logan turned and ran from the cabin, going anywhere where she wouldn't have to see any more.  

"Logan, I understand you've very upset by this whole affair," said General Chasen.  Behind him, a janitor was sweeping up broken glass from liquor bottles.  "But you have my personal assurance that every step will be taken to discipline the party available."  Logan barely looked up from her cupped hands in her lap.

"I want out."

"Team X was scheduled to disband at the end of six months anyway," said Chasen.  "However, you have proven yourself an asset time and time again.  If you are interested…"

"I just wanna go somewhere else, General."

"Department H is beginning a new mutant program, one which you would be ideal for.  Top secret.  Are you interested?"

"Would _Sabretooth_ be involved?"

"Of course not," Chasen assured her. 

"Then I'll do it."

Chasen grinned, a rare event. He leaned across the table, shaking Logan's hand. "Then welcome to the Weapon X Project."


	7. Chapter Six

**_Welcome to the jungle  
We've got fun 'n' games  
We got everything you want  
Honey, we know the names  
We are the people that can find  
Whatever you may need  
If you got the money, honey  
We got your disease  
  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your knees  
I wanna watch you bleed  
  
Welcome to the jungle  
We take it day by day  
If you want it you're gonna bleed  
But it's the price you pay  
And you're a very sexy girl  
That's very hard to please  
You can taste the bright lights  
But you won't get them for free  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Feel my, my, my serpentine  
 I wanna hear you scream  
  
Welcome to the jungle  
It gets worse here everyday  
Ya learn ta live like an animal  
In the jungle where we play  
If you got a hunger for what you see  
You'll take it eventually  
You can have anything you want  
But you better not take it from me  
  
And when you're high you never  
Ever want to come down, yeah  
  
You know where you are  
You're in the jungle baby  
You're gonna die  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your knees  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Feel my, my, my serpentine  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your knees  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your  
It's gonna bring you down!_**

Xavier rewound the tape and played it again, ignoring Logan as she winced at the scene. "I don't think I have to remind you that Victor Creed was here for rehabilitation—not a lobotomy."

"He was trying to escape!" Logan exclaimed. "He knocked Tabitha into a metal wall!"

Xavier wheeled around, meeting Logan's defiant gaze. "I understand the need to subdue him under the circumstances; however, your methods were…excessive. The fact that he is still alive is a miracle, although he will probably never be quite the same again."

"And this is a bad thing because…"

Xavier looked at her sternly. "Your blatant lack of remorse for your actions disturbs me. I thought we had made progress with you since your arrival here. You know Logan, when I first brought you to Westchester, you weren't much better than you claim that Sabretooth is."

Logan's nostrils flared. "Listen, Chuck, I was never like him. Yeah, I may have my demons, but I'm not a psychotic killer. I can play well with others when I have to."

"I have yet to see proof of that," Xavier said. "I have been debating what disciplinary actions to take following this event, and while your behavior makes me question your position on the X-Men, you are a valuable asset to the team. Being as such, I will allow you to remain part of the X-Men; however, for the next three months you are confined to the mansion. During that time, you will be expected to stand guard over Sabretooth—making sure no harm comes to him now that he is in a weakened state."

"WHAT!" Logan yelled. "You can't do that!"

"If you wish to remain a member of my team, you will do as I say."

Logan popped her claws, but then brought them back in just as quickly. "I understand, professor," she said through gritted teeth.

"Good. You are dismissed, Wolverine."

Logan stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her. She glared at the group of X-Men gathered in the hallway. "What the hell do you want?" she yelled. They quickly scattered, allowing Logan a clear path through the hall.

Weeks passed before Sabretooth did anything more than lounge on the Danger Room floor while Logan sat in the control room, watching him intently.  She was almost beginning to believe the professor—maybe Victor's healing factor hadn't been able to handle the massive brain trauma she had dealt him.  But not once did she feel sorry, even when Jean showed her the mind scans she'd taken of Sabretooth.  They were of forests and streams, rabbits and deer and songbirds.  The colors were bright and oversaturated.  Childlike.  

Victor rolled over on the steel floor, a placid smile on his face.  He was seeing a hologram that Kitty had programmed after the images from his mind, to keep him calm.  He was feeling the sun beating on his face and hearing the soft sounds of a stream, while Logan was stuck in a hard chair in a tiny, hot control room.  She reached under the counter and disconnected the smoke alarm for her afternoon cigarette.  

"There's no smoking in here."  Logan shot a black look at the other woman.

"Bite me, Jean."  Jean took a seat in the other control chair and lifted the Danger Room's Cerebro helmet off its stand.  

"Time for your daily romp through the psycho's mind?"

"It's a lot more pleasant than _your _mind."  Right on cue, a buzzer sounded and Tabitha stepped into the Danger Room and Victor's simulation.  He smiled wider as he saw her, not a sardonic grin but a genuine expression of happiness.  Tabitha sat cross-legged in front of him and the two began conversing eagerly.  

"That's cheap," Logan commented.

"What?" said Jean, as she activated the Cerebro controls.  

"Using the kid to distract him like that.  I thought telepaths weren't supposed to go around someone's mind uninvited."

"Deal with it, Logan," said Jean shortly, and shut her eyes.  Logan turned her back and took another drag on her cigarette as she watched the pair below.  It had been easy for Tabitha to forgive Victor.  The girl had rarely left his bedside in the med lab, and now she visited him every day, for as long as the professor would allow.  

Logan wished things were that easy for her.

Jean let out a cry and Logan spun around in her chair, just in time to see the redhead tear off the Cerebro helmet and collapse, shaking, into her chair.  

"What's wrong?" said Logan, although she had an idea.

"We…"  Jean took a deep breath and got a hold of herself.  'We have a serious problem."  Logan shot a look back at Tabitha and Victor, but they were still acting ordinary as ever.

"What did you see?"  Jean pressed the playback on Cerebro, and Logan's blood chilled.  The sylvan forest was black, clouds obscuring the sun and the trees charred down to twigs.  Dead animals lay scattered around a stream that ran red with blood.  

"His mind has reverted…" said Jean.  "I didn't think it was possible."

"Looks like you were wrong, red."  Logan clicked on the comm..  "Tabitha, time to go."

"No it's not!" Tabitha whined back, holding up her wristwatch as evidence.

"Get out of there _now_," Logan growled, leaving no room for argument.  Victor twisted around to look at the control room, his face still holding the sweet, slightly befuddled expression he'd worn since their battle.  He waved at her.  

"We've restrained him," said Xavier at the team meeting the next morning.  "I must say, I held out a hope that he could be cured of this insatiable urge to kill but it seems now that that is impossible."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Logan muttered.  

"What course of action are we taking with him now?" asked Storm.

"I've spoken to the warden at the Vault, and a team will collect him as soon as possible," said Xavier.  "Sabretooth is going to prison for the rest of his life."

"Yeah, sure," said Gambit.  "Where we hear dat one before?"

"Be quiet," said Scott.  Remy got up and left the war room.  Logan followed suit.

"Is he gonna be okay again?" said Boom Boom softly.  Xavier inclined his head sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, Tabitha, but someone like Victor can never be cured.  It is a hard fact, but a fact all the same.  The best place for him is the Vault."  Tabitha's lower lip trembled, but she just nodded and left the room.

Victor felt sweat trickle between his body and the cold metal bonds that held him trussed up in the Danger Room.  He hated the dark, had ever since he was a child.  Only a single soft light shown down on him—the rest of the huge room was in pitch blackness.  Who knew what might be lurking there…waiting…watching…  A shiver passed over Victor's body and he let out an angry growl as compensation.  He had to think, had to make a plan.  Now was not the time to lose it.  But it was so dark.  It was closing in on him…

A small bar of light appeared as the Danger Room door opened, and Victor caught a familiar scent.

"Hey there, Tabby."  Tabitha's angry, tear-streaked face came out of the shadows.

"You…you lied to me."

"I lie to everyone, kid.  Yer nothin' special."

"I trusted you!"

"Then you're not too smart, are ya?"

"I should have listened to Logan."  Victor snorted.

"Shoulda coulda woulda, Tabby."  He leaned forward as much as his restraints would allow.  "But the runt's not here now.  What are you gonna do all by your lonesome?"

Tabitha brought her right hand out from behind her back, revealing three glowing time bombs.  Victor laughed, loudly.

"You don't have the nerve, girly."

Tabitha's small voice was almost a growl.  "Try me."  She sneered at him.  "I hope you rot in Hell, Creed."  She cocked back her arm and the bright projectiles flew at Victor, bouncing off his chest and leaving hot burn marks.  They exploded as they hit the floor, blinding and deafening him.  He felt the metal of his restraints sag, and he topped over, hitting his chin on the Danger Room floor.  Victor smiled.  Once again, his little Tabby Cat had saved the day.

Tabitha's tears began again as she saw Victor vanish in a bright fireball.  How could she have let herself be so easily fooled?  No one ever just cared for her, they all used her.  Her father, the X-Men and now Victor.  But he was dead now.  He had to be.

"Heh heh heh."  Tabitha's mouth dropped open.  It couldn't be…  "Thanks for the jailbreak, frail," Victor grinned.  "Couldn't have done it without ya."  He was shirtless and burned, but perfectly alive.

Tabitha, all reason deserting her, screamed for help at the top of her lungs.  Victor picked her up by her neck like a rag doll and threw her too the side, knocking the wind out of her.  He ran out of the Danger Room, heading for the nearest exit.  Tabitha lay on her side, thinking that he didn't even care enough to kill her.  

Logan crouched, slinking through the sewer. It smelled, worse than almost anything—except the scent she was tracking. As far as she was concerned, Victor Creed was the vilest creature she'd ever encountered.

This time, he wasn't getting away. He was going to pay for what he'd done to her, to Tabitha—to Silver Fox. 

"Lookin' fer me, darlin'?"

Logan spun around looking around wildly for Sabretooth. "Come out and face me like a real man, Creed."

Victor chuckled. "But you never let me show you how much of a 'real man' I can be."

Logan unsheathed her claws with a snarl. "Fucking bastard."

"That the best you can come up with, frail?"

"You afraid to fight me, Creed? Afraid I might hurt you again?"

"You ain't nothin' to me, girly. I'm not afraid of you or yer little can openers."

"Well you should be."

Creed jumped from the shadows, landing on Logan and knocking her to the ground. He pressed his body against her back, putting his mouth up against her ear. "You really want to fight me, frail? Or maybe you want something else…"

"I want you to die, you goddam son of a bitch." Logan turned her head and spit on him.

Victor pushed down on her head, slamming her face into the concrete. He sat up slightly, and Logan used the new leverage of the position to push against him, knocking him off her back. She crouched in front of him as her wounds closed again. 

Creed mimicked her position, chuckling. "You wanna tango, darlin'?"

"I am _not_ your darlin'!" she yelled, lunging forward and burying her claws in his chest. Creed howled, knocking her off and across the tunnel.

Logan got back to her feet, charging Creed again. This time he was prepared, grabbing her and lifting her off the ground, her arms pinned to her sides.

"Yer not playin' nice, frail."

Logan sneered. "I never play nice." She raised her knee, hitting Victor hard between the legs. His eyes filled with shock and pain and he fell down to his knees. Logan grabbed the suppression collar from her belt and turned it up all the way before slapping it on Victor's neck. He shook with the volt, falling back to the ground.

Logan turned on her comlink. "The target is subdued."


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter 7.**

**Canada****,  early 1970s**

**_Just before our love got lost you said  
"I am as constant as a northern star"  
And I said, "Constant in the darkness  
Where's that at?  
If you want me I'll be in the bar"  
  
On the back of a cartoon coaster  
In the blue TV screen light  
I drew a map of Canada  
Oh Canada  
And I sketched your face on it twice  
  
Oh you are in my blood like holy wine  
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet  
Oh I could drink a case of you  
I could drink a case of you darling  
Still I'd be on my feet  
I'd still be on my feet  
  
Oh I am a lonely painter  
I live in a box of paints  
I'm frightened by the devil  
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid  
I remember that time that you told me, you said  
"Love is touching souls"  
Surely you touched mine  
"Cause part of you pours out of me  
In these lines from time to time  
  
Oh you are in my blood like holy wine  
And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet  
Oh I could drink a case of you  
I could drink a case of you darling  
Still I'd be on my feet  
I'd still be on my feet  
  
I met a woman  
She had a mouth like yours  
She knew your life  
She knew your devils and your deeds  
And she said  
"Go to him, stay with him if you can  
Oh but be prepared to bleed"  
Oh but you are in my blood you're my holy wine  
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet  
I could drink a case of you darling  
Still I'd be on my feet  
Still I'd be on my feet  
I'd still be on my feet _**

James MacDonald Hudson made his way through the silent, snowy woods, leaving footprints that were soon filled in by the steady snow.  He looked back for his new bride Heather, but she hadn't yet caught up to him.  James smiled as he readjusted his hunting rifle on his back—this snowstorm had extended their honeymoon by a week, which was just fine with him.  

James readied his rifle as he heard a noise from the evergreens to his left—he and Heather were in pursuit of a deer for food, but grizzly also roamed these woods, and at this time of year they were hungry if they came out of hibernation.  

"Heath," he called quietly, "I got something over here."  He saw his wife's small red head bobbing towards him up the hill, and moved ahead cautiously.  The sound was growing closer, and James's heart sank when he recognized the moans of a wounded animal.  Trapping was illegal in a state forest, but the vast majority of backwoods residents ignored the restrictions.  Mac didn't relish having to put down a wolf or a badger that had gotten caught.  He pushed aside snowy tree branches, until a clearing came into view.  Mac stopped short.  Lying huddled in the snow was a woman.

"Heather!" Mac shouted, running over to the body and feeling for a pulse.  "Heather, get up here!"  It was there, surprisingly strong for someone who looked near dead.  Mac wondered how the woman had escaped freezing to death—all she wore was a bloody lab coat.  Mac stripped off his own parka and wrapped it around her.  She moaned again, one arm reaching out feebly to push him away.

"James?" Heather appeared out of the trees.  "James, what…oh sweet Jesus."

"She's hurt badly," said Mac.  "We need to get her back to the cabin."  Heather nodded, taking his rifle and gear pack so Mac could lift the woman.  She was much heavier than she looked—Mac had to strain to get her into his arms.

"No…" she muttered weakly.

"It's alright," said Mac.  "We've got you now.  You're going to be okay."

She didn't know where she was. The room came into focus slowly, but she didn't recognize her surroundings. Slowly, she sat up, clutching her pounding head.

The flannel shirt she was wearing came past her wrists and she smelled a male scent on it. She wondered if maybe she'd missed something. 

"Is anyone there?" she asked, her voice cracking from lack of use. "Hello?"

A tall, handsome man with dark hair came in the room a moment later. "So you're awake."

"Sort of…"

He stood beside her. "My name is James MacDonald Hudson—Mac. My wife and I found you in the woods. We brought you in, and my wife administered medical attention."

"I don't need medical attention."

"I noticed. Your injuries started healing almost as soon as we got you in out of the snow."

She pulled the covers up to her chin, wrapping herself tighter. "Do you know me?"

"No." Mac frowned. "What's your name?"

She felt like she wanted to cry. "I…I don't know."

Mac sat beside her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her. She fell over on him, not caring that she was with a stranger. She didn't have any memories of anyone anyway, so what difference did it make? She sobbed into his shoulder.

"Um, I thought you might be hungry now that you're awake…"

Mac pulled away from her. "Heather, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure." She brought the plate over to the woman in the bed. "Do you like tuna fish?"

"I don't know."

Heather frowned, but gave her the tray anyway. She left the room with her husband.

Logan could hear their conversation even thought the redhead called Heather had shut the door.  It was like they were right next to her.  

"Who is she?" Heather asked.

"I don't know," said Mac.  "She doesn't remember."

"Amnesia?" 

"Looks like it."  Logan heard Mac's feet shift.  "I wonder how she got there."

"Probably kidnapped and dumped by some redneck psychos after they'd had their fun with her."

"Maybe she's lucky she doesn't remember anything…"

"Traumatic memory loss wears off after a few days," said Heather, "or it never wears off…hopefully we can at least find out her name."

"She seems to be healed up from those wounds."  

"I know…I've never seen anything like it, in all my years in the Department."  Logan frowned anxiously to herself.

_The Department…_

"I wish the snow would let up—she needs to be checked out in a real hospital," said Mac.  Logan heard Heather take steps towards him and the soft sound of bodies pressing together.

"But I thought you liked being stuck here with me, James MacDonald."  Mac laughed.

"I do, Dr. Hudson, I do."  Heather kissed him, a soft wet sound.

"Then relax and let me worry about the mystery woman, okay?  She'll be fine here with us watching over her."

"Ya think maybe you could do something with black hair. A little longer." A frown. "Okay, make yourself a little smaller. Blue eyes. Yeah, that'll do."

Raven Darkhölme sighed. Sometimes she didn't know why she bothered with Victor Creed. Was he really worth it?

Victor grabbed her and threw her on the bed, kissing her so hard she could barely breathe.

Yes, yes he was.

Raven lay next to Victor afterwards, watching his chest rise and fall with his breathing. "You've never been that passionate before, Victor," she said, running her fingers down from his shoulder to the planes of his stomach. "I liked it."

"Yeah. I'm going to make a sandwich."

Raven pulled the sheets around her, allowing her body to shift back to it's normal shape and color, her short red hair brushing her cheeks.  Victor liked variety, and she was more than happy to turn into the woman of his dreams most nights, but she wondered what was different about this one.  The way he had looked at her…

"Raven!  Where's the damn mustard?"

"In the refrigerator," she answered wearily.  She wished she could just ask him, but it would either provoke a silent, scornful look or one of his towering rages.  Victor strolled back into the bedroom holding a plate, sitting on the edge of the bed and devouring his sandwich.  

"What's on yer mind, blue?"  Raven started to speak, but changed her mind.

"Nothing in particular."

"That sounds about right."

"Fuck you, Victor."

"Been there, done that."  Raven gathered her clothes and stomped out of the bedroom.

"Bastard."

Victor finished his sandwich and sprawled across the now vacant bed, quickly falling asleep.

Her eyes snapped open. Something from her dream…something vague she could almost grasp. She closed her eyes, trying to bring it back to the surface.

_Logan__…_

She jumped from the bed, running into the other room. "Mac! Mac are you awake?"

"He went to see if the roads are any clearer yet."

She looked over at Heather. "My name," she said. "I remember my name."

Heather smiled. "That's wonderful! What is it?"

"Logan."

"Is that your first name or your last name?"

Logan frowned. "How the hell should I know?"

"They're starting to move some of the fallen trees off the road. I talked to someone who said we should be able to leave by the end of the week." Mac stopped, looking at Logan. "Hi."

"Hi." Logan smiled. "I remembered my name. It's Logan."

"That's great," Mac said, beaming at her. Heather turned away from the two other people in the room, concentrating on breakfast.

"I don't remember anything else," Logan said with a frown.

Mac took her hand in his. "But it's a start…Logan."

The pain pulled her back to consciousness. Her hands…they were burning. She looked down. There was blood on the sheets. She fumbled to get out of the bed, but her fingers didn't seem to want to work right. She looked down, and… Logan screamed. What were they?

"Logan! Logan are you alright?"

The sound of Mac's voice snapped her back to the moment. She wanted to make them go away. She took a deep breath, and with a *snikt* they were gone.

Mac burst into the room. His eyes grew wide at the sight of the blood on the bed and on Logan. "What happened?"

"Uh…that time of the month?"

Mac frowned. He didn't know much about that aspect of biology. "Um, okay. I'll have Heather wash the sheets."

Logan just nodded.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm just going to go change my clothes, all right?"

Mac nodded, and Logan made her way into the bathroom, picking up the jeans and sweater Heather had lent her on the way in. She shut the door and looked down at her hands. Nothing was there now, except the blood. She made a tight fist with her left hand.

*SNIKT*

Logan winced, but pushed the pain away. Three long, metal claws were protruding from the backs of her hands. She reached up, touching the tip of one. She cursed, pulling back as they pierced through the flesh.

She knew she didn't remember anything much from before the Hudsons had found her, but somehow she knew that these hadn't always been with her. And yet, at the same time, they reminded her of something from long, long ago…

She pulled the claws back in her hands. They were something she could deal with later. Right now she had other things to deal with. Like cleaning up all that blood.

She rinsed off her hands, watching the red water run down the drain. She turned off the water and gripped the edges of the sink, looking at herself in the mirror. 

She sneered angrily at the stranger that looked back.

"Well, well, well if it ain't my favorite shapeshifter."

Mystique froze. "What are you doing here?"

"Takin' a hit. You?"

"Same." Mystique frowned. "Who?"

Victor pointed to a man a few feet away. "Him. You?"

"Looks like the guy was double-booked."

Victor smirked. "Ain't that sweet. Wanna pull a double like in the old days?"

"Old days? It's been less than a year since I saw you last."

"Seems like longer. You were a sweet fuck, babe."

"I'm not getting back in your bed. That's already ruined my life enough."

Victor cocked a blond eyebrow. "What are you talking about, frail?"

"You have a hit, don't you Victor?" Mystique started to walk away. 

Victor grabbed her arm. "Hell no. Yer not just walkin' away from me. What were you alludin' to?"

Mystique threw his arm off of her. "You knocked me up, you bastard."

Victor stared at her for a moment, not even noticing that his hit was walking away. "So where's the kid?"

"I don't know. I left him somewhere."

"You what! What kind of a lousy mother are you?"

"What the hell do you care, Creed? Like you would've been the world's best father. You probably would've kept the kid locked up in a closet or something."

Victor snarled, grabbing her by her collar. "I wouldn't lock my kid up nowhere, frail."

Mystique tried not to let her fear show, although she figured Victor could probably smell it. "He's with people better than us."

Victor pushed her away. "It was a boy."

"Yes. I…I named him Graydon Creed."

"Heh. Nice to know my son's name." He glared at Mystique. "Don't come back around me. I'll kill you."

He walked away, pushing past anyone who got in his way, the hit long since forgotten. 

The setting was familiar to Logan—a small room inside a military installation, her teammates around her, command personnel going in and out.  She sat on the edge of her cot and surveyed the small space.  It felt like home.  It felt right.  

"How are you adjusting?" Mac poked his head in.  Logan smiled at him.

"Not bad."

"It can seem sort of monastic at first, but we can get you some stuff to dress it up."  

"It's perfect."  Mac nodded.

"Good.  Come down to the common area when you're ready and meet the rest of the team."  He left, shutting the door behind him.  Logan opened her small duffle bag full of hand me down clothes, and the one blue sweater she'd never returned to Heather Hudson.  She knew it set off her eyes, and anyway, redheads wearing blue wasn't the most attractive thing on earth.  

She put her few things in the drawers of her dresser while she thought about Heather and Mac.  Mac was a wonderful, outgoing man who had been nothing but kind to her, but she sensed that Heather bore her some resentment.  Well, Logan reasoned, she had interrupted their honeymoon.  That would make her cranky.  

The last thing in Logan's bag jingled as she drew it out.  Another piece of the puzzle that was her past.  Tarnished dogtags that had been around her neck when Mac found her, or so he claimed.  They bore a serial number and a name.  _Wolverine_.  What kind of a name was that, anyway?

Logan put the tags around her neck, tucking them under her shirt.  Somehow that felt right.  She smoothed her long hair back, wondering why she cared how she looked.  She was pretty, but who was she trying to impress?  There was no one here but the rest of her team.

"Logan, this is Alpha Flight.  Everyone, this is Logan."  Mac gestured to the other people in the comfortable lounge.  A chorus of assorted hellos came back.  Logan felt suddenly intimidated.  "Have a seat," said Mac.  "Our CO will be in in just a moment."  Logan sank into the nearest seat, which happened to be on a couch next to a very short man.

"Howya doin'?" he stuck out his hand.  "Name's Puck."  Logan shook it tentatively.  

"Hi there Puck."

"So where's a pretty girl like you from?"

"Like she'd tell you."  Logan looked up to see a tall, elegant white-haired woman standing over her.  "Snowbird.  Pleased to meet you."

"Hey."

"Puck suffers from what we like to call a severe lack of tact, coupled with stalker tendencies."  Puck grinned.

"Aw, baby, you just want me and you can't have me."

"Not in my darkest nightmares."  She smiled at Logan.  "How did you come to be a member of Alpha Flight, my dear?"

"Mac found her in the woods," said Heather.  "Brought her home like a stray."

"Ah," said Snowbird.  Heather gave Logan a look and then stalked to the opposite end of the room.  "Don't mind her," said Snowbird.  "Heather has permanent PMS, plus she's paranoid Guardian is cheating on her."

"Guardian?"

"James."

"Oh," said Logan.  "Is he?"

"Of course not!" said Snowbird.  "He's the most faithful man in Canada.  Heather is just a…well…"

"A raving bitch," supplied Puck.  Snowbird looked down her nose at him.

"If you have to use that kind of language."  

"They seemed happy to me," said Logan.  

"Did they really find you wandering around the woods?" said Puck.  Logan nodded.

"I don't remember much before that.  Heather said I must have experienced a trauma."  Puck and Snowbird looked sympathetic.

"What are your abilities?" Snowbird inquired.  Logan looked down at her hands.

"Fast healing."

"That sounds handy," said Puck.  

"Very," said Logan.  "I can't even get drunk, really."

"Damn," said Puck.  "Sign me up for one of those."  Snowbird sat on the other side of her.

"Well, you'll find us generally a friendly bunch, although we do our share of bickering, like any team.  The CO really doesn't keep a close eye on us, and autonomy breeds anarchy."

"I don't wanna start any trouble," said Logan.

"Of course you don't, dear."  The door at the opposite end of the room opened and a man in a khaki green army uniform stepped through.  Logan's eyes lit on her face and for a second she couldn't breath.

_I know him…_

"Where's this new star member I've been hearing about, Mac?" he said, clapping Guardian heartily on the back.  Mac lead him over to Logan.

"Logan, this is General Howard Chasen.  Sir, this is Logan."  Chasen stuck out his hand.

"Good to have you aboard, Ms. Logan."  Logan blinked and swallowed.

"Yeah.  Uh, good to be here."  Chasen cocked his head.

"Something the matter?"  Logan's head pounded, but the memory would not surface.  She realized her hands were shaking and took a calming breath.

"No, sir."  

"Good.  Mac and I will review your abilities and combat level and then we'll place you on a sub-team, alright?"

"Fine, sir."

"See you tomorrow, little lady."  Chasen walked out with Mac.

"Oily as they come," said Snowbird.  "Word is he  worked on some kind of top secret weapons program before they transferred him here.  Don't trust him."  Logan looked at her.

"I'll remember that…"

"You looked as if you'd seen a ghost when he came in."

Logan stood.  "I'm just fine.  Peachy, in fact.  It was nice meeting you two.  See you later."  She walked quickly out of the room to try to make sense of the tangled jumble of barely tangible thoughts inside her head.

"Mac?"

"Yes, Logan?"

"Where did Chasen work before here?"

"I don't know, somewhere in the Canadian government, I suppose."

Logan frowned. "That isn't much of an answer, Hudson."

Mac shrugged. "Sorry, Logan, but it's the best I can give you." He paused. "Why did you ask?"

"It's just, well, for the past two months since I came to Alpha Flight I've been trying to place why he looks so familiar, and I just can't."

"Who knows why he looks familiar. Maybe he reminds you of your father or something, and you just don't remember."

"Yeah…maybe." Logan wasn't appeased by that answer, but she decided to let it go.

Mac yawned. "Sorry," he said. "Long night."

"Lots of paperwork?"

"I wish. Heather and I had an argument."

Logan looked at him sympathetically. "Is everything all right with the two of you now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Mac ran his fingers through his hair. "I love her so much, it's just that all this work with Alpha Flight is already weighing on our marriage. I'm not there for her as much as I should be."

"Well, if I were your wife, I'd think you were doing a great job." She patted him on the hand. "You seem to love her a lot, and I know you do what you can for her."

"She means the world to me, you know."

Logan tried not to let it show how much those words stung. "You're a good man, Mac."

"I'm just a man, Logan. I do the best I can, but I don't always do what's right."

"We all make mistakes. Heck, who knows what I did before you found me. I was naked in the woods after all."

Mac blushed a bit at the memory. "I'm sure you couldn't have been anything less than wonderful."

"Heh. Thanks, Mac." Logan shifted uncomfortably. 

Mac stared at her, wishing she was wearing anything but her all-too tight uniform. "I have some, um, paperwork I have to get filed."

Logan stood up. "Yeah. I'll see you around, Mac."

"See ya."

As soon as she was gone, Mac slumped back in the chair, letting out a deep breath.

Victor stood on a pleasant suburban street in Maryland, watching the Tudor house across the way.  He had been standing there for a while, just waiting.  Victor could be patient when he wanted too—it was part of being a hunter.  No one was on the street, except for a single red station wagon making its way towards him at the 25-mile-per-hour speed limit.  It pulled into the driveway of the house.

"Honey, don't forget Don's diaper bag," a blond woman called to her husband as she got out of the passenger side and unstrapped a small toddler from his car seat.  

"Got it, honey."  The man was tall, well-groomed and in a suit.  He had a briefcase as well as the diaper bag.  Victor's lip curled with reflexive scorn.  But then he took a step back.  The little blond boy was smiling up at the man.  Stretching out his arms.  Saying "Daddy."

Victor growled low in his throat and walked back to his waiting car.  The kid was alright.  There was nothing more he could do.  

"You've been awfully quiet recently, Wolverine."

Logan frowned. "I'm fine, Snowbird."

"You sure? You've been moodier than usual. And you keep zoning out." She gave Logan a sideways look. "You're not in love, are you?"

Logan grew pale. "No!"

"That wasn't very convincing," Snowbird said. "Who is he? That cute assistant of Chasen's?"

Logan looked away. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Snowbird frowned. "It's not _Puck is it?"_

"Ah! No!"

"Good, you worried me." Snowbird patted Logan on the shoulder. "Well, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here."

"Thank you."

Logan curled up on the couch after Snowbird left. She hated it when people got her pegged that well. She hadn't been able to get Mac Hudson off her mind since she'd met him, and each day it was just getting worse. 

She didn't want to do something that would hurt Heather—after all, the woman had let her stay at her cabin in the middle of her honeymoon—but she couldn't deny what she felt for Mac. And she was pretty sure it was mutual.

Logan couldn't take it anymore. It was driving her crazy. She had to talk to Mac, had to clear the air. She went to his office, going in without even knocking. "We need to talk."

Mac looked up from the file he was reading. "Yes, Logan?"

"Look, I'm going to be perfectly honest here—I like you. More than I should. I know you're married, but I…" Logan looked at the pale expression on Mac's face. "And I've said way too much and I should go."

Mac jumped up from his desk, almost knocking over a file cabinet. He grabbed Logan. "Wait…"

She looked at him. "Yes."

Mac turned away from her wide, blue eyes. "I shouldn't want this, too, Logan, but I do."

Logan grabbed him and kissed him, not able to control herself anymore. Mac hefted her up off her feet, kissing her back as he used one hand to knock everything off his desk and lying her down. Logan ripped at his shirt, buttons flying to the floor with little clicks. Mac groaned. It wasn't like this with Heather…

Logan allowed herself to just focus on the present, pushing out the guilty thoughts in her head. 

Logan sat beside Mac, both of them leaning against his desk. He tried to smooth his ruffled hair. "We shouldn't have done that," he said softly. "Oh God, I can't believe I just did that to Heather."

Logan stood up, gathering her clothes from the random places they had ended up in the office. "I'm sorry, Mac."

"That cannot happen again," Mac said in his stern, Guardian voice.

Logan bristled. "It wasn't entirely my idea, _James."_

Mac glared up at her. "You came into my office professing attraction."

"I didn't make you throw me on your desk and fuck me!"

Mac's eyes grew wide at her language. "I think you better go now, Logan."

Logan looked down at Mac, a sudden disillusionment coming over her. "You're not the man I thought you were."  

"I told you before—I'm just a man."

"Yeah, I guess you are."

Logan left his office and didn't stop going until she was off the compound.

She smelled Snowbird before she saw her.  Snowbird took a look at her sullen, morose-looking teammate and came over, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"He rejected you, my dear?"  Logan snorted.

"Nah.  The opposite, in fact."  Snowbird raised an eyebrow.

"You seem upset by that."

"I don't seem it, I am fucking upset!" Logan shouted.  Snowbird took a step back.  

"You're a bit wound up."  She drew a pack of filtered cigarettes from her parka.  "Have one.  It will calm your nerves."

"Those things will kill you."

"I think you're safe, Wolverine."

"I don't know if I even smoked."  Snowbird passed her one and Logan took it, accepting the light from the other woman's monogrammed lighter.  She inhaled and exhaled once.  It seemed natural, and Snowbird was right—it was calming.  

"You will find someone else who is worthy of your time and attention," said Snowbird.  "I assure you."

"I don't care any more," said Logan as she exhaled again.  "Men are nothing but trouble."

"You have discovered one of the fundamental facts of life, my dear."  She and Snowbird smoked in silence for a few more moments, then Snowbird flicked her butt into a snow bank.  "I am going in…enjoy your solitude."

"Yeah, thanks for the smoke."  Snowbird left her alone.  Logan looked out over the treeline and exhaled bitterly.  Who the fuck did Mac Hudson think he was, anyway, Saint of the Great White North?  He was no better than any other man who cheated on his wife, for whatever reason.  If his wife was too frigid to satisfy him, Logan knew she didn't deserve to have it taken out on her.  She was angry, really angry, the rage coursing through her like a drug.  She dropped the cigarette on the ground and let out a growl.  It felt cleansing, almost.  

Logan knew with a sudden clarity that this rage was coming to her from her past, that this feeling had served as an integral part of her old life.  And it felt good.  Logan walked towards the trees, a walk that quickly turned into a run as she chased the anger, not wanting to lose it.

"Wolverine, may I speak to you in Guardian's office?" 

Logan heart clinched at the tone in Chasen's voice, coupled with the look on his face. "Yeah, sure, general."

She went into Mac's office trying to keep her eyes off the desk. A chagrined Mac Hudson stood beside a rather-angry looking Heather. Logan guessed the proverbial shit was about to hit the fan. "Is there a problem?" she asked.

"You're dang right there's a problem!" Heather exclaimed.

"Calm down, Vindicator," Chasen said. "Let me handle this." He turned to Logan. "A certain…indiscretion has been brought to my attention, and I believe that it may cause problems for the team—something I cannot have. Wolverine, I'm afraid I'm going to have to move you to another division."

"Fuck that!" Logan yelled. "Mac was just as involved as I was! How come I'm the one who's getting the shaft?"

"Wolverine, Guardian is the leader of Alpha Flight. He can't leave. You can. There's a place open in the business division…"

"Business division? Do I look like a goddam secretary? You know what you can do with your transfer, Chasen? You can shove it up your pasty white ass, ya bastard!"

Chasen sighed. Yeah, this was the Logan he remembered. He needed to get her out of this potentially dangerous situation. "It would only be temporary, until we can find a more suitable position for you. There's nothing else we can do, Logan. It's not like you can just walk out…"

"Oh no? Watch me, bub." She started to walk away, and Chasen stepped in front of her. 

"You can't leave."

Logan's claws popped out and she sliced Chasen's tie at the knot. He grew pale. "Um, I…"

"Outta my way."

Chasen stepped back, deciding that it might be better to let her go for now than to risk his life with an unstable personality.

Logan stalked out of the base, not even going back to collect her things or to say her good byes.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter 8.******

**_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick  
and think of you  
caught up in circles confusion is nothing new  
Flashback, warm nights-   
almost left behind  
Suitcases of memories, time after—   
  
Sometimes you picture me-   
I'm walking to far ahead   
you're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said   
Then you say go slow   
I fall behind   
The second hand unwinds  
   
If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
time after time  
If you fall I will catch you,  I'll be waiting  
time after time  
  
After my picture fades   
a darkness has turned to gray  
Watching through windows   
you're wondering if I'm okay  
Secrets stolen from deep inside  
the drum beats out of time _**

**_ If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
time after time  
If you fall I will catch you,  I'll be waiting  
time after time  
  
You said go slow   
I fall behind  
the second hand unwinds_**

**_If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
time after time  
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
time after time  
  
  
_ Jean sat back in her chair and shook her head.  "I don't understand it, Professor."  Xavier frowned, rubbing his chin.  **

"Explain what you saw again."

"When I mind-scanned Sabretooth, the basic architecture of his mind was the same, but it's…changed.  Before, these images and feelings came at me with no control—it was like a tsunami.  Now," she paused.  "There is control.  Like he can turn it on and off."  

"Fascinating," said Xavier.  "We must send him to the med lab for a CAT scan…it's entirely possible that when Logan damaged his brain she severed the nerves responsible for his bloodlust urges."  

Jean sighed.  "All that for Victor Creed?  When are the agents from the Vault coming?"

"To tell you the truth," said Xavier.  "I have asked them to postpone taking Sabretooth away until we can gain a more complete understanding of him, as a mutant and a foe."  Jean pursed her lips.

"Does Scott know about this?"

"I have not relayed the information to Cyclops."

"No offense, Professor, but at the risk of sounding like Wolverine—this is a bad idea.  Sabretooth can't be trusted, he's demonstrated that twice.  He almost killed Tabitha, and God knows what he'll do if he gets out again."

"I don't trust him, Jean.  I wish to study him."

"So we just keep him caged up like a lab animal?"  The Professor frowned at her.  

"That is my decision, Jean."  Jean set her Cerebro helmet back on it's perch.  

"Of course, Professor.  You know best."  She stood to leave.  "Should I tell Logan?  She's his little bodyguard for the duration of her probation, after all."  

"I don't think revealing all the details would be wise—but you may inform her his bloodlust is sated, at least for now.  He can be allowed into the Danger Room periodically.  Maybe eventually the rest of the mansion.  It depends on his behavior."

"Yes, Professor."  Jean left to execute his orders.  

It was bad enough, Logan thought, that she had to baby-sit Sabretooth in a cell, but now that Xavier had decided she had "cured" him with a claw through the head and allowed him free run of the Danger Room, it was just cruel and unusual.  Having to watch Sabretooth tear up holographic ninjas was only marginally better, in Logan's opinion, than having red-hot pokers shoved in her eyes.

"Frail!" Victor shouted at her from the Danger Room floor.  "Turn it up another level.  This is kid stuff."  Logan sighed.  It was just common sense not to give Sabretooth voice access to Cerebro, but it gave him an excuse to treat her like a damn lackey.  "C'mon, runt!" Victor shouted.  "Move yer slow ass!"  Logan smiled and waved at him as she turned the Danger Room controls to maximum.  She heard Sabretooth give a yell as he was bombarded by the X-Men's worse villains from all sides, and soon collapsed in a smoking heap.

"Had enough for today, honey-buns?" Logan spoke into the comm..  Victor's scorched hand emerged from under his body with the middle finger extended.  "Cute, Creed."  Logan went down to the outside door and released the lock to escort him back to his cell.  

Logan decided this was the worst part of her job as Creed's babysitter—having to be alone with him like this. Sometimes it was all-too like the old days, back with Team X. Back before she knew what he really was. 

"Ya know, I coulda taken those punks in the Danger Room."

"It was Apocalypse, Sinister, and Magneto."

Victor shrugged. "That doesn't bother me none. I coulda beaten 'em no problem."

Logan rolled her eyes. "Then why didn't you?"

"'Cause you were leanin' forward over that damn console up there. One look at yer tits, and my mind goes off the battle."

Logan restrained herself from sticking another claw through his head—and holding it until he stopped twitching this time. "You are such a fucking pervert."

"I always thought you liked it dirty."

"Just shut up. I'm sick of listening to you flapping your jaws."

Victor just smirked, slowing down his pace so he could walk behind her.

Logan sighed. "Are you staring at my ass again, Creed?"

"Of course. You sure you won't stay a little while tonight, frail? I get awfully lonely in that dark, cold cell all by my lonesome."

Logan punched the code to open his cell door.  "Very sure."  She ushered Victor inside.  "Victor?"

He grinned, baring his fangs.  "Yeah, frail?"

"How come Xavier didn't detect your bloodlust was gone until now?"  Victor snorted, his sarcastic look going bitter.

"Xavier never gave me a chance."  The cell door rolled closed, cutting off further conversation.

"So how's Herr Psycho?"  Logan groaned.

"Don't ask, Kitty."  

"He can't be that bad—Jean said he's all docile now."  

"Yeah, docile like an alligator."  Kitty sat down next to Logan on the couch where she was reading.  

"You're doing a good job—really."  Logan sighed as she flipped a page.

"I just wanna pound on his face until he shuts up."  

"You only have another week until your probation is over.  Cheer up.  Rogue and Storm promised we'd start up Lady's Poker Night again as soon as you were free."

"Thanks, Kitty."

"What are friends for?  Just keep from killing him for seven more days."

"I'll try real hard."  She looked up at the clock and sighed.  "It's time for his highness's Danger Room workout.  I'll see you later, Shadowcat."

"Later, Logan."

"Seein' you on the other side of my cell is the one bright spot to my day."

Logan rolled her eyes. "Please, Creed, cut the bullshit."

"Who said I was bullshittin' ya."

Logan started a little, but shook her head. If there was one thing Victor Creed was good at, it was his twisted little mind games. "Come on. Let's get this over with so I can put you back behind bars where you belong."

"Actually, there ain't any bars. It's more of a walls and force-fields job."

Logan rolled her eyes. "I was speaking figuratively."

Creed just smirked. "That's a big word for such a little runt."

"Are you insulting my intelligence?"

"How can I? It would have to be there."

Logan grabbed his arm, preparing to drag him from the room. Victor clamped his own hand over hers, digging his talons into the surface of her skin. "Gentle, gentle, frail," he said, leaning forward so she could feel his breath on her skin. "Yer not supposed to be mishandlin' the prisoners."

"Let me go," she said, trying to pull her arm free.

"Why should I?" Victor asked, digging his talons in deeper. "Maybe I like ya this close."

Logan jerked away, freeing herself for a second before Victor grabbed her again. This time, he brought her arm to his lips, licking off the blood from the wounds he'd caused on her wrist. Logan shuddered.

"Ready to watch me get all sweaty?" Victor asked with a wink.

"I hate you so much."

"There's a thin line between love and hate frail. A thin line."

Later, Logan sat outside Victor's cell reading, ignoring the fact that he'd gotten most of his "prisoner clothes" of a sweatshirt and pants burned or ripped off during his workout.  She wasn't in the mood to cater to his needs.

"Whatcha got yer nose in, frail?"  Logan glanced up.

"_Macbeth." _

"The Scottish play," said Victor.  Logan looked up again.

"You actually know what I'm talking about?"

"Yeah, sure.  _Macbeth is damn good, but I like __Julius Caesar better.  Gotta love a power-mad dictator stabbed in the back by his best friend."  Logan tried to hide her shock._

"_Caesar has its good points I guess."  _

"Ya don't have to try and impress me now, runt—I didn't even know ya could read."  Logan flipped him off.

"Fuck you."

"Whatever you say, frail."  He began to remove his shredded clothes as Logan quickly averted her eyes.  Victor chuckled.  "Afraid ya might see somethin' ya like?"

"More like something that would haunt my nightmares, Creed."  Victor wrapped the blanket from his cot around his waist and sat down.

"When yer done with that thing slide it my way.  I'm goin' nuts starin' at the walls."  

"What do I look like, a library?"  Victor frowned.

"No, an' I'm sorry I made the mistake of thinkin' ya had a sympathetic bone in your body."

Logan slapped her book shut and sighed.  "Creed, I don't like you.  In fact, I despise you.  Accept it.  You're never gonna be my best friend."  

"No shit, frail."  Logan growled and got to her feet.  

"You know, every time I start to think maybe this guard detail is bearable, you prove once again what a complete asshole you are."

"So ya _do_ have somethin' in there besides hatin' me."

"Don't get any big ideas."  Victor smiled.  

"Wouldn't dream of it."  Logan sighed, then stepped forward and put her book through the food slot.  

"It belongs to Beast, so be nice to it or he'll get all pissed off."  Victor picked up the small tome as Logan started to walk off.

"Thanks, Logan."  Logan stopped.

"Uh…you're welcome, I guess."  She looked at him over her shoulder.  "Have a good night."

"G'night, darlin'."  

"I'm not your darlin'."

"I know, I know.  Night."

"Night."


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter 9.**

**_If I leave here tomorrow   
Would you still remember me   
For I must be traveling on now   
There's too many places I've got to see   
  
If I stay here with you girl   
Things just couldn't be the same   
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now   
And this bird you cannot change   
  
Oh, and the bird you cannot change   
And this bird you cannot change   
Lord knows I can't change   
  
Bye-bye babe, it's been sweet, love   
'Though this feeling I can't change   
But please don't take this so badly   
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame   
  
But if I stay here with you girl   
Things just couldn't be the same   
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now   
And this bird you cannot change   
  
Oh, and the bird you cannot change   
And this bird you cannot change   
Lord knows I can't change   
Lord help me I can't change   
  
Oh no, I can't change_**

**Tokyo****, **Japan******, 1970s**

Logan decided that this was one of the worst jobs she'd ever had. Playing errand-girl to leering Japanese gangsters was not exactly her idea of a good time. But it paid the bills.

She was leaving a warehouse after her latest drop when she saw a tall man in a suit approaching her. Hey, baby, come here, he said in Japanese

Logan raised an eyebrow. "No." She responded in English.

The man was obviously not used to being told no. "You're supposed to come when I call you," he replied, using English this time. "Don't you know who I am."

"Don't know, don't care, bub."

The man looked at her in mild shock. "Do you work for the Yashida Clan?"

"Yeah, I'm a courier."

"Oh. Never mind then."

Logan cocked her head. "What did you think I was—a hooker?"

"Yes."

Well, at least he was honest. Logan had to give him that much. "Well, I'm not."

"Do you need a ride somewhere?"

"I just told you I'm not a whore."

"I didn't ask if you wanted to ride _me_," the man said with a smirk. "I just thought you might not want to walk around here alone. It's going to get dark soon."

"I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can, but I'd feel much better if I didn't walk off and leave a woman by herself in a less-than-safe alleyway."

Logan sighed. She really didn't feel like walking all the way back to her rat-hole of an apartment. If the guy got too friendly, she'd just pop her claws and cut something off. "Sure, why not."

The man stuck out his hand to shake hers, greeting her in the Western style. Logan noticed the tattoos on his arm and deduced he was a gangster. "Makoto," he said, introducing himself.

"Logan."

"Are you American?"

"Canadian."

"Close enough."

Logan grunted. "Hardly."

Makoto smiled at her, leading her to a black Cadillac. He opened the door for her, then got in behind her. "Where do you live?" he asked Logan.

She told him, and he looked at her in surprise. "How does a small woman like you survive in such a place?"

"I'm stronger than I look."

"Are you paid much for your courier position?"

"What's it to you?"

Makoto liked her feistiness. "I can see that you are given a higher position in the Clan. Better living arrangements."

Logan wasn't sure what she thought of that. "I'll think about it. Right now I just want to go home."

"Of course." He gave the directions to her apartment to the driver.

Logan leaned back in the seat and watched the silhouettes of buildings rush by through tinted glass.

Two days later, Logan's daily workout was interrupted by a sharp knock at her door. "Flamin' hell," she muttered. "I paid my damn rent."

She flung the door open, surprised to see Makoto. He bowed. "Good afternoon."

"Uh, good afternoon. Why are you here?"

Makoto reached out and put a white orchid behind her ear. "I wished to see your beautiful face again."

Logan wanted to kick herself when she realized she was actually blushing.  "Well, here it is, handsome."  Makoto smiled.  

"I also wished to extend an invitation to dine with me.  On Saturday night."  Logan did a double take.  Being asked on actual dates wasn't something she was used to.

"Sure—I mean, yes.  Yes, I'd like that."  Makoto inclined his head.  

"Very good.  A car will pick you up at seven."  He bowed once more and retreated down her hall.  Logan basked pleasantly for a moment, then panicked when she realized she had nothing to wear.  

Logan fidgeted with the collar of her cheongsam as the driver of the ubiquitous black Cadillac ferried her deep into the Shinjuku District in the heart of downtown Tokyo.  Past posh department stores and five star restaurants Logan could see the Imperial Palace erected during the Tokugawa regime.  She checked her hair in the rearview mirror, done up with chopsticks and Makoto's white orchid, preserved in her refrigerator.  

The car came to a stop on a side street, in front of an intimate restaurant done in traditional Japanese style with shoji screens and straw mats on the floors.  Logan stopped nervously in the entryway.  What if he wasn't there?  What if she'd been stood up?  What if she was dressed completely wrong?

"You look lovely."  Logan turned with great relief to see Makoto.  

"Thanks. You don't look half bad yourself." 

Makoto stood a little taller, as if he was preening. He did look handsome, in his black suit with a red tie. Logan noticed it complimented her own dress and smiled.

They walked into the restaurant, and everyone immediately fell into place, going out of their way to cater to Makoto's ever whim. Logan reacted with mild surprise, wondering just how high up in the clan this man was. He definitely was ranked higher than petty street thug…

"What was your life like before you came here?" Makoto asked after they had eaten and a waiter had brought sake.

"It wasn't exactly sunshine and puppy dogs," said Logan.  Makoto smiled.  

"Your eyes say that you have led a hard life."

"They're right."

"But they are very pure also—they look like the sea off Osaka."  He took a sip of his sake.  "I have a summer home there.  It's my favorite place in the world."

"It must be nice to have a place to escape to," said Logan wistfully.  Makoto nodded.

"More than you know."  Logan noticed that while he had been perfectly attentive throughout the meal, his eyes never stopped scanning the restaurant.  

"Are you nervous about something?"  Makoto gave her a startled look.

"Am I being that obvious?"

"Only to someone with military training."  She didn't bother to qualify her statement.  "I wouldn't worry—those bodyguards at the tables around us seem pretty tough."  Makoto's mouth twitched.

"You are a woman of many talents, Logan."

"You have no idea, handsome."

Makoto leaned in closer. "Would you like to show me these talents?"

Logan winked. "Your place or mine?"

"Uh, mine. Yours frightens me."

Logan laughed, and Makoto found the sound refreshing. It was a genuine laugh, not one meant just to charm him.

Makoto snapped his fingers, and a waiter appeared. Check.

No check necessary. The waiter said with a low bow. 

Makoto nodded. He got up, then went to help Logan out of her chair. She walked from the restaurant on his arm.

Logan would be lying if she said she wasn't impressed by Makoto's penthouse.  It was lavishly appointed in mostly black, with a huge, raised bed being the focal point.  Makoto removed his jacket and shoes, and Logan also left hers on the mat next to the door.  He noticed her staring.

"Do you like it?"

"Looks like a prince lives here."  Makoto smiled slightly.  

"The bed belonged to a member of the Tokugawa family—they say it was used mostly for his concubines."  His smile changed to a wicked grin.  Logan returned it.  

"Looks comfy."  Makoto ushered her over.

"Please, lie down."  Logan raised an eyebrow.

"You're movin' a little fast even for me, Makoto."  He laughed.

"I didn't mean it like that.  You must lie down to experience this bed."  He loosened his tie and flopped backwards, his slim body sinking down into the black satiny coverlet.  "Come on Logan—don't be afraid."  

"I'm not afraid of you, handsome," said Logan as she landed next to him.  Makoto hadn't been lying—the bed was the most comfortable thing she'd ever lain on.  He looked over at her, black eyes hooded.

"Well?"  

"It's great," said Logan with a soft moan of comfort.  "Can I never move again?"  Makoto reached over and traced a hand gently down her cheek, over the swell of her breasts and down her taut stomach.  

"That would be fine with me, Logan."  He bent his head to hers and kissed her, gently but full of passion.  Logan returned his kiss eagerly, and didn't resist when he began to undo the clasps on her cheongsam.  She began to undo the buttons on his shirt in kind, for some reason wanting to keep the slow, steady pace he was setting rather than race ahead.  Makoto drew a breath when he saw her pale skin illuminated in the low light of the bedroom.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."  Logan smiled up at him.  Makoto certainly wasn't ugly—he had a muscular torso with brilliant tattoos cascading up his right arm and over his chest.  His shaggy black hair fell in his eyes as he bent to kiss her again, more insistent this time.  Logan responded to him, letting him take the lead.  "I want you," Makoto breathed against her neck.  Logan shivered as he slid his body over hers, echoing the sentiment.

"Take me."

Logan propped up on her elbow, tracing her fingers down the tattoos that covered his arm and chest. "You must be pretty high-ranking to have all these."

Makoto shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I am."

"What do you do?"

"Uh…a lot of things."

"Are you an assassin?"

"This is not the type of thing I should discuss with a woman…"

"What, are you afraid it will upset me?" Logan asked with a smirk. "I'm not exactly frail and delicate, you know."

Makoto smirked. "I noticed." He sighed. "I am the son of the leader of the Clan Yashida."

Logan's eyebrows shot up.  "You're Shingen Yashida's kid?!"  Makoto nodded.

"Hai."  Logan flopped backwards and groaned.  "What's wrong?" said Makoto anxiously.  

"I can't believe this," Logan muttered.  "It just figures…"

"Logan, have I upset you?"  Logan sighed.  

"Makoto, I…I just wasn't prepared to hear that."

"I cannot help who I am."

"I know," said Logan.  "It's just…I have this bad habit of sleeping with the wrong kind of men—the kind that never give anything back."  Makoto looked down at her.

"Logan, my father does not define who I am.  I made love with you because I think you are charming and beautiful—no other reason."  Logan tried to smile.

"I'm sorry to imply that you weren't being honorable."  He kissed her.

"No harm done, my dear.  Now please, rest."  He turned off the lights and wrapped his arms around Logan, his breathing soon evening out into sleep.  Logan lay awake for a long time, watching the skyline of Tokyo from Makoto's massive window.  This wasn't how it had happened before—this felt good, to be here with someone who wanted her.  She didn't want to leave.  Makoto stirred slightly in his sleep and Logan relaxed.  She didn't have to.  

Logan fell asleep.

"Makoto, will you please just tell me what's going on?"

"What, and spoil the surprise my dear?  Not likely."  Logan smiled as Makoto closed his hands over her eyes and guided her into the elevator of his building.  

"Will I like it?"

"I almost guarantee you will."  He kissed the top of her head as he stood behind her.  

"Makoto?"

"Yes, Logan?"  Logan sighed.

"This is the longest I've ever been with anyone."  She cursed herself silently.  She hadn't meant to say it out loud.  And certainly not in an elevator when Makoto was taking her to his penthouse for a romantic evening.  

"Really?"  Logan knew what would come next—angry accusations and resentment.

"Well…yeah."

"Then I am honored."  Makoto didn't give Logan a chance to react—the elevator stopped and he propelled her down the hall to his door, although Logan could have navigated perfectly well by scent.  "Alright—are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, handsome."  Makoto pushed his door wide and took his hands from her eyes.  The first thing Logan saw was an armchair—her armchair.  From her apartment.  There were more things of hers scattered throughout the mostly open space.  In fact, it looked as if everything she owned was now in Makoto's penthouse.  She turned to him.

"What is this?"  He took her hand and kissed it.

"Welcome home."  Logan frowned.

"I have a home."

"You mean that hole in the wall?  My dear, you can't be serious."  Logan pulled her hand away.

"For your information, I _liked _that hole in the wall.  You had no right to do this, Makoto."  He looked confused.

"But Logan…I thought…"

"Just because we've been dating for a while doesn't make me your property."  Makoto drew himself up, his eyes angry.

"Fine.  If you still don't trust me to treat you with respect, then that is not my problem."  He turned away from her.  "I love you, Logan, but you are a difficult woman."  

"Screw you."  Makoto gave a mirthless laugh.

"Oh yes, because that is a safe way to assure you never actually have to face your feelings for anyone."  He paced towards her, his finger extended.  "You can only run so far and so fast, Logan.  Sooner or later you are going to find yourself a lonely, bitter old woman with no one who cares for you."

Logan knew if it had been anyone other than Makoto she would have cut her losses and taken off, but instead she felt almost wounded.  His words were true—even if she didn't want to admit he was right.  Makoto crossed his arms and looked down at her.  "I am sorry to have offended you.  I'll have a man bring your things back and restore you to your old apartment."

"I'm sorry," said Logan almost inaudibly.  

"What's that?"

"Sorry," said Logan louder.  "I…well…you scared me.  I'm not used to letting myself get close to anyone."  She reached out gently and took his hand.  "I do trust you, Makoto.  I know you're an honorable man."

Makoto reached up and touched her face, drawing her slowly into one of his hot, mind-bending kisses.  "Do you really want to leave?" he whispered.  Logan smiled and kissed him again.

"No.  I'll stay."

Logan poked at her lunch with a chopstick. "What was your childhood like?"

Makoto looked up, his eyes betraying surprise at Logan's question. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm curious, I guess."

"My mother died when I was young. I have only my father."

"Oh. Any siblings?"

"Half brother. He's a little crazy. One of those mutants." Logan froze for a moment until Makoto added, "Not that I have a problem with that."

Logan let out the breath she'd been holding.

"It's funny that you would be curious about my family, since they relate to what I wished to discuss with you at lunch this afternoon."

"What's that?"

"I would like you to accompany me to my family's compound in Osaka to meet my father."

Logan started. "You want to bring me home to your father?"

"Yes."

"I…I didn't know I meant that much to you."

Makoto reached across the table, taking her hand in his. "I love you, Logan—more than I ever have any woman in my life."

"I love you, too. I…"

Logan stopped when Makoto got up. He reached behind him, and Logan knew he was reaching for his guns. "Makoto, what's going on?"

"Get down, woman."

Suddenly, Logan felt something hot shoot through her back. She jerked spastically, the bullets pounding thought her. She heard Makoto scream and return fire as she slumped to the ground.

When she came to, Makoto was kneeling on the ground, holding her in his arms. He was looking at her with anguish, her blood covering his designer suit. Logan gave him a tiny smile. "Why so sad, handsome?"

Makoto jumped, dropping her to the ground. Logan hit the floor with a thump. "Uh, ow."

You're alive! Makoto exclaimed in his native language. 

"Yeah," Logan muttered, sitting up. "Takes more than a few dozen rounds of semi-automatic fire to get me down." She looked around the restaurant, seeing the bodies of the men who had shot her laying on the ground. "Aw, honey, you avenged my death."

"How…how is this possible?"

"I'm a mutant. I heal real fast."

Makoto reached down, offering Logan a hand to help her to her feet. I thought I'd lost you, he said softly.

I'm right here.

Makoto kissed her passionately.  Don't scare me like that again.

I'd rather not get shot again myself.

"Let's go home," said Makoto, holding her close.  Logan nuzzled against his neck.

"Yeah, let's go."


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter 10.**
    
    **_Just like the sun over the mountain top _**
    
    **_You know I'll always come again _**
    
    **_You know I love to spend my morning time _**
    
    **_Like sunlight dancing on your skin _**
    
    **_I've never gone so wrong as to telling lies to you _**
    
    **_What you've seen is what I've been _**
    
    **_There is nothing I could hide from you _**
    
    **_You see me better than I can _**
    
    **_Out on the road that lies before me now _**
    
    **_There are some turns where I will spin _**
    
    **_I only hope that you can hold me now _**
    
    **_Till I can gain control again _**
    
    ****
    
    **_Like a lighthouse you must stand alone _**
    
    **_Landmark the sailor's journeys end _**
    
    **_No matter what sea I've have been sailing on _**
    
    **_I'll always roll this way again _**
    
    **_Out on the road that lies before me now _**
    
    **_There are some turns where I will spin _**
    
    **_I only hope that you can hold me now _**
    
    **_Till I can gain control again _**
    
    ****

"Are you nervous?"  Logan fidgeted next to Makoto in the car.

"Yeah…a little.  I hope your father approves of me."  Makoto was silent for a second.

"You are mine, of course he will approve," he said finally, but his expression had gone serious.

"Something between you and your dad?"

"Just the usual father/son things, my dear.  Don't worry yourself."  The car stopped at the massive gates of the Yashida compound.  "We must walk from here," said Makoto.  "For security reasons."  He helped Logan out of the car.

"Nice place you got here," she said.  

"It dates back to the feudal era, when the Yashida were the daimyos of this province."  He ushered her through a small opening in the gate.  The grounds were palatial, but Logan didn't miss the security cameras and inconspicuous, heavily armed guards strolling through the maples and the rock gardens.  

The Yashida mansion was situated on a high hill, on the edge of cliffs dropping down to the ocean.  A winding rock walkway climbed to the main doors, with smaller buildings set into the hillside.  Makoto kissed her cheek.  "Wait here, my dear.  A maid will come escort you to our room."  

"Where are you going?"

"To pay my respects to Shingen."  He started up the walkway at a brisk pace.  Logan sighed and sat on a garden bench with her bags.  Soon the hot sun beating down got to be too much, and she stood and began to wander the immaculate paths that wound away into other parts of the grounds.  

She walked for a long time, until she found a quiet cove of pine trees to have a cigarette.  Makoto had let her know he wasn't crazy about the habit, but Logan figured what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.  Besides, it wasn't like she was going to drop dead from lung cancer.  

There was a grunt from behind her, and Logan turned to see a small building, barely visible through the trees.  Yells and sounds of pain were emanating from it.  Logan dropped her cigarette and hurried towards the noise.

She had expected a fistfight, or maybe a beating in progress, but she didn't expect to see a stocky Japanese man in a short kimono beating mercilessly on a Yashida clan soldier with a wooden sword.  The soldier finally dropped to one knee, his sword falling by his side and holding up his hands in submission.  

_Mate, stop he gasped._

The man in the kimono sheathed his sword in his belt and bowed formally.  You need practice, _gohai._

Yes, Matsuo-san the beaten soldier agreed.  He stood and also bowed, then left the dojo.  The man called Matsuo turned and saw Logan before she could duck away.  

Who are you? he demanded suspiciously.  

"I'm Logan," she answered.  "I'm here with Mokoto Yashida."  Matsuo's frown changed to an expression of contempt.  

"Oh," he said shortly.  "The main house is up the hill."

"He told me to wait while he met with Shingen."

"Lord Shingen," Matsuo corrected her brusquely.  Logan raised an eyebrow.

"_Lord Shingen then."  Matsuo turned away and put his practice sword on a rack with many others.  Next to it was a stand with several metal-bladed and gleaming samurai swords.  Even Logan's untrained eye could see they were top-notch blades._

"What do you do here?" she asked, walking over to the rack and running her fingers over the handle of one of the swords.  Matsuo's hand clamped over her wrist and took it away from the blade.

"Don't touch."  Logan gave a growl.

"Same goes for you, pal."  Matsuo's eyebrows went up, but he released her hand. 

"You are not like Makoto's other women."  Logan decided to ignore the "other women" part of that sentence.

"Yeah, I'm one of a kind."  Matsuo stared into her eyes for a moment.

"You are a warrior," he pronounced.  Logan blinked.

"Uh…whatever, pal."  

"This is my dojo," said Matsuo, gesturing around.  "Lord Shingen demands that all his soldiers be trained in bushido, traditional samurai arts."  He dropped his arm.  "I usually do not allow _gaijin women inside, but you may stay."  Logan's mouth quirked._

"Well gosh, I'm flattered."

"Do you have practice with the sword?"

"Some."

Matsuo handed her a wooden practice sword. "Let me see what you can do, _gaijin."_

Logan took the sword, bowing to Matsuo. He returned the bow, and then struck.

Logan blocked him easily, her old combat techniques flowing back to her. She matched Matsuo blow for blow, but could not get the better of him. 

"Logan!"

Matsuo and Logan both jumped back at the sound of Makoto's voice. Matsuo dropped the sword and bowed to Makoto. I am sorry, Lord Makoto.

Logan felt almost guilty for a moment. "Did your conversation with your dad go well?"

"It went fine," Makoto said tersely. "Come with me now. You need to change before you meet my father."

"Change?"

"Yes. You need to appear as a proper Japanese woman."

Logan raised an eyebrow at that, but decided to see where this was going. "Um, okay. Let's go." She turned to Matsuo and bowed. It was an honor to meet you.

Matsuo bowed in return. As it was an honor to meet you.

Logan looked at herself in the mirror. She was dressed in a light blue kimono, tied at her small waist with a white obi. Her hair was gathered in a bun, decorated with a lotus blossom clip. She frowned. That wasn't her reflection.

Makoto came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I wish we were not due at my father's table soon. I would much rather spend the night removing this from your perfect body." He stroked the fabric of the kimono.

Logan felt suddenly self-conscious. "Maybe later, Makoto."

He kissed her neck. "I will hold you to that."

Logan had to admit that Shingen Yashida didn't look the way she had expected. She bowed to him. "It is an honor to meet you, Lord Shingen."

He returned the bow tersely. "You are my son's latest conquest, I hear."

Makoto took Logan's hand. "She is the woman I love, father."

They are all the one you love when they are your latest whore, Makoto.

Makoto bristled. She is an honorable woman, father.

Shingen snorted. 

An older Japanese man entered the room. Dinner is served, Lord Shingen.

The three of them entered the dining room, Logan careful to remember what the proper dinner table behavior was for a woman in Japan.

I do not understand why you continue to dishonor me, my son. Every woman you have brought into my home is a _gaijin_ whore. Why can you not marry a woman from one of my allied clans—make a profitable marriage?

I will only marry a woman I love, father.

You love only what is between her legs.

Logan had heard enough. It isn't very nice to say things like that at the dinner table, she growled.

Shingen's eyes widened slightly. You speak Japanese.

I get by.

He gave her a saccharine smile. Then accept my apologies for speaking against your honor.

They are accepted, Logan said, mimicking Shingen's plastic smile.  He picked up his chopsticks and began eating the first course.  Makoto slid his hand over Logan's, giving a silent apology.  Logan pulled it away and began to eat.  

Logan stood in the middle of Matsuo's dojo, clad only in light cotton _gi pants and a Toronto Maple Leafs t-shirt.  Matsuo was sitting at the edge of the room, his legs folded under him as he watched her._

Again. he said.  Logan nodded slightly, going back to the ready position and then lashing out with the bright steel blade she held.  She had been living in the Yashida compound for nearly four months, and in that time Matsuo had trained her well in the art of bushido.  

Logan finished, breathing heavily.  Makoto would have a fit if he found her here, doing something that was decidedly _improper for the lover of the heir of Clan Yashida.  But he was in Tokyo overseeing business, and Shingen rarely left the main house except to meet with the heads of his allied clans.  Matsuo stood._

_Mate.  What troubles you, Logan-san?  Logan set her sword carefully back on the rack._

Nothing, _sempai_.  I'm sorry to appear distracted.  Matsuo inclined his head.

A warrior with her head in the clouds is asking to lose it.  Logan smiled.

"I'm hard to kill, remember?"  Matsuo's mouth twitched, the closest he ever got to smiling.

Do not become arrogant, Logan-san.  He bowed to her.  You are dismissed for today.  Logan bowed low and left the dojo to clean herself up for Makoto's return.  

Logan smiled when she heard Makoto enter their apartments, but her face quickly fell. She sniffed the air, wanting to make sure she was correct.

The cheap scent of heavy, artificial jasmine. It was not her scent. Far from it. She stormed into the other room, her eyes wild. "Where the fuck have you been and who have you been with?" she screamed at Makoto.

He took a step back. "I'm happy to see you, too," he said with a frown.

"Don't get smart with me! I can smell her all over you. Who was she?"

"Logan, it isn't what you think, I…"

"Don't give me that shit! What, was I just another 'conquest' for you, someone to keep in your bed like a good little girl while you went out and got your kicks elsewhere?"

Makoto sighed. "Logan, I don't have the energy to 'get my kicks' elsewhere. You are more woman than even I can handle."

Logan ripped the lotus clip from her hair, throwing it at Makoto. He dodged, and the clip fell to the ground behind them. "You're just like all the other men!" Logan yelled. "You're using me just like the rest!"

"No! I didn't want to meet with her, I promise! My father made me."

"What, is he your pimp?"

"I didn't sleep with her!" Makoto explained. "Logan, please—I love you."

Logan clasped her hands over her ears. "I don't want to hear anymore of your lies!" She turned and started to run from the room.

"Logan, wait! I don't want to marry her—I want to marry you!"

Logan stopped at that. She turned slowly, looking back across the room at Makoto. "You want to what?"

"Marry you—make you my wife." He pulled a small box from his jacket pocket. "I was going to wait for a more romantic moment, but…"

Logan blinked.  "Why…?"  Makoto opened the box and handed it to her.  A delicate diamond ring rested on a velvet bed.

"Logan, my father wants me to marry the daughter of the lord of his allied clan.  He made me meet with her today.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you but…"  He smiled wryly.  "I was afraid of a reaction like this."  Logan took the box, still at a loss for words.

"Is she pretty?"

"She's repugnant," said Makoto.  He took the ring and slid it onto Logan's finger.  "But you are beautiful.  Marry me."  Logan wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug.

"Okay."  Makoto struggled for breath for a moment, then just let Logan hold him.  She looked into his eyes.  

"I love you, Makoto."

"And I you, Logan."

The next morning, Logan was on her way to Matsuo's, creeping quietly past the main room of the mansion, when she heard raised voices coming from behind the shoji screens—Makoto's and Shingen's.  Logan stopped, feeling slightly guilty, but the way they were yelling, she didn't even need her enhanced hearing.  

How could you disrespect Asano's daughter like that?! Shingen shouted at his son.

I bear no love towards that woman, father.  She dishonors the Yashida name.

Hold your tongue, boy! Shingen paced angrily.  Someone such as yourself does not marry for love, Mokoto.  They marry to bring glory to their clan.  If you cannot accept this fact then I will force you to!

You cannot order me to do something my heart is against, father.  Shingen exploded.

Where is your respect, you ungrateful whelp?!  How dare you speak to me in this manner?!  Makoto's voice was cold and tight.

I am not you, Shingen, and I do not do as tradition dictates.  I will marry the woman I love, and you cannot stop me.

Then you will never lead Clan Yashida, boy!  I will see to it!

Don't be so sure of that, father.

Are you threatening me?

If you try to stop my marriage to Logan, then yes.  You will regret it.

Then you go with your whore, Makoto.  You have dishonored yourself and your clan.

So be it, father.

Leave my sight! Shingen snapped.

Gladly! said Makoto, throwing open the screen and storming out into the hallway.  He stopped short as he saw Logan.  

"Oh no…I am sorry you had to hear that."  Logan half-smiled.

"It's okay…I understand I'm not your father's dream girl for his only honorable son."  Makoto chuckled dryly.

"No longer honorable, apparently."  Makoto put his arm around her shoulders and led her back towards their apartments.  "It does not matter, Logan.  When I am head of the clan, I can do as I please and they will be forced to accept you."  Logan was relieved he was too upset to notice she was dressed in a _gi instead of her customary kimono.  _

Logan answered the door to Shingen's majordomo. He bowed low, handing Logan a note. "Lord Shingen requests that you join him for tea."

Logan frowned. She wasn't dumb enough to think this was anything but a set up. She looked at the note, reading that he would expect her there in three hours—shortly after Makoto was scheduled to make a business trip in town. "Tell him I will be there."

The majordomo bowed and then scurried off.

Logan sat on a mat in front of the window and began to meditate. She'd have to be centered when she faced Shingen.

"Logan, I am honored by your presence."

Logan bit her tongue, fighting the urge to tell him she knew he was full of shit. "I am honored by your request to meet with me, Lord Shingen."

"Please, sit at my table."

Logan did as he requested. She'd take things slowly, keeping her eyes open for any traps.

"I am sorry for the way in which I have treated you," Shingen said. "If my son says you are a woman with honor, I should listen." He smiled. "I reacted badly. I am just a man who loves his son, and wants the best for him. I believed that would be a proper Japanese wife, but now I realize that he will not be happy unless he is with the woman he loves."

A woman came in and poured tea for both of them. Shingen raised the cup. "Let us drink to your impending marriage."

Logan raised the cup, discretely sniffing it in a check for poisons. She smelled nothing but the distinctive aroma of green tea. She took a drink.

As soon as the hot tea hit her throat, Logan knew something was wrong.  The taste was bitter and strangely stale, but it was too late.  The corrupted liquid poured into her stomach as Shingen watched and smiled.  

"Matsuo has informed me of your unique talents, Logan, but fortunately my agents are very resourceful.  This is an ancient poison, scentless and said to cause instant death."  Logan's vision began to blur and Shingen's voice came from a long tunnel.  She tried to speak, move, anything, but blackness closed in around her, and Logan slumped to the floor before she could move a muscle.  

Logan came to in a tiny, windowless room.  She was lying on her side on a tatami mat that was stained with blood.  Her blood.  Her muscles felt like they were on fire and she retched as her body fought the poison.

She's awake said a harsh voice from over her.  Logan recognized it as one of the gun-toting guards that constantly patrolled Shingen's estate.

Not for long, said another.  Lord Shingen's orders are for her death.  Logan was hauled to her feet and one of the thugs drove his fist into her face.  By the pain, Logan could tell it wasn't the first time.  Blood dripped into her eyes and her vision was hazy.  She wasn't feeling the familiar sensation of her healing factor compensating for her injuries.  It was overloaded by the poison.

Logan knew she was going to die if she let them hit her much longer.  They had already nearly beaten the life out of her.  The thug drew his fist back for another hit, and Logan's foot swept out, catching him in the groin.  He howled and doubled over.  

She drove her head backwards into the one holding her, hitting his chin.  He released her, and Logan turned on the prone one, grabbing his neck and snapping it with a quick twist.  The other she left lying on the floor, using the last of her strength to pull herself out of the room and towards safety.

Logan drug herself towards the dojo, her injuries beginning to heal. She stumbled into the door, finding Matsuo meditating. "You…you sold me out."

Matsuo let out a slow, deep breath. "I am loyal to my clan, Logan-san."

"Shingen has no honor, Matsuo. He tricked me—poisoned me—then sent his thugs to beat me to death. If you serve him, you have no honor of your own."

Matsuo rose slowly, approaching his collection of swords. He drew the one from the top, then brought it to Logan, placing it in her hand. "This sword was given to me by my master when I first completed my training. It had been given to him by his master. Use it with honor."

Logan bowed. "I will."

Logan went back to the apartments she shared with Makoto, tearing off her bloodied kimono and replacing them with jeans and a t-shirt. She laced up her boots and took the last of the pins out of her hair.

Shingen would not live to see the morning.

Shingen sat in disbelief, as the bloody bodyguard in front of him told him the _gaijin woman had escaped and killed another one of his men.  _

Find her!  She can't have gotten far! he raged.  Another bodyguard came running in as the other one was leaving.

Lord Shingen, the _gaijin _is waiting in the main hall! he cried.  Shingen drew in his breath.  

She dares to challenge me… he murmured.  

Sir?  Shingen went to his wall and took down his favorite katana.  

Tell her I am coming for her.

Logan stood at the end of the great main hall of the Yashida mansion, watching as Shingen emerged from the other end.  His bald head was a fiery red with rage, and he pointed his katana at her.

"You are not worthy to be with my son, in my house and especially not worthy to challenge a warrior such as myself!"  Logan's mouth curved upwards.

"A false sense of honor doesn't make you worthy, bub."  She stepped forward and bowed formally.

"You have no honor, woman!" he spat.  Logan's eyes narrowed.

"Maybe so, but I'm still better than a worm like you."  Shingen slashed forward with his sword and Logan met him.  Shingen was a skilled samurai, but Matsuo had trained Logan well.  She fought with perfect concentration, meeting Shingen blow for blow.  Neither of them had managed to shed the blood of the other.

Logan and Shingen's katanas locked at the hilt, and Logan pushed away from him, panting.  For an old man, he was fast and tenacious as they came.  He lunged again, and Logan sidestepped to slash at his stomach, but Shingen suddenly spun and cut her across the knuckles.  Logan gave a cry of pain, Matsuo's katana spinning out of her grasp.  

Shingen had her on her knees, towering over her with his sword raised.  "So much for you, _gaijin," he smirked.  "My son is going to be so very disappointed when he finds his whore has abandoned him without so much as a goodbye.  I will make it look very convincing."  Logan growled._

"He won't believe you."

"Oh but he will…because you are the same as all the others who have left him before.  Little more than female animals."  

Red dropped over Logan's vision.  No matter what she did, where she went, they all saw her as an animal.  She could never just be Logan.  She was different.  She was the Wolverine.  

She _was _an animal.

Wolverine let out an enraged cry as her claws extended and she drove them deep into Shingen's thigh before he could bring his sword down.  He screamed in pain, blood spurting from his wound.  Logan leapt up and at him, her adamantium talons finding flesh again and again.

She drove Shingen back to the wall of the mansion, ignoring the cuts from his sword that landed on her body.  She had no control, no way to hold back the indescribable urge to kill that boiled up from inside her.  

And she didn't want to.  

Shingen raised his sword once  more, his face holding more terror than anything else as he attempted to fend off Logan's furious assault.  Logan slashed his wrist, and the sword fell to the ground.  Shingen screamed and doubled over.  Logan held him up, retracting her claws as she growled into his face.

"Am I worthy now, Shingen?"  He spat on her.  

"You are not even human."  Logan smiled grimly.  

"And you're a dead man."  She raised her balled fist.  Shingen glared at her.  

"I am not afraid of death!"

Logan smiled at him, then extended her two middle claws directly into the crime lord's eyes.  There was a wet squelch, and Shingen fell to the floor.

"Good," Logan said, before walking out of the hall.  

"Logan!"

Logan looked up, her face paling at Makoto's voice. What had he seen?

He ran to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Are you all right? I came home and found you gone, and I was so worried." He showered her face with kisses.

Logan pulled away. "Makoto…I…I just killed your father."

"I know. I watched the whole thing." He stroked her cheek, and Logan shuddered, realizing that he now had his own father's blood on his hand. "It's all right, Logan. I am now head of the Clan Yashida."

"But he was your father."

"He was never a real father to me," Makoto spat. "Come, Logan. You are sure to need rest."

Logan was too shaken to argue. She let him lead her back to their home.

Logan noticed a change in Makoto as soon as they were out from the shadow of Shingen. He relaxed considerably, and Logan was surprised to hear him actually laugh. 

"I think we should be married by the sea," Makoto said, holding Logan close to him.

She smiled, her eyes closed as she relished the feel of being in her lover's arms. "That sounds lovely, Makoto."

Makoto kissed her lightly. "You have brought a light to my life, Logan. I can never thank you enough for that."

"You've already done more than enough. You love me, Makoto. That's more than anyone's ever given me."

Makoto held her closer. "I will love you until I die, Logan-chan."

Logan smiled across the table at Makoto. He smiled back, and she felt warmth spread throughout her from her heart.

Suddenly, Logan heard something wiz through the air, and Makoto slumped forward.

"Makoto!" Logan yelled, jumping to her feet and running to her lover. She pulled his head into her lap. "Makoto…"

Logan…I am dying…

No! You can't die on me! You can't leave me!

She reached up and pulled the dart from his neck. She recognized the markings. The Hand. Her eyes filled with tears. "No…"

Logan, please, take me by the ocean. I want to see it as I die.

You're not going to die. There's gotta be an antidote.

There's no time to find one. Please, Logan…

He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. Logan drug him as best she could from the building, taking him outside so he could see the ocean. Makoto smiled weakly.

I regret that you never got the chance to become my wife. I…I always imagined us together until we were great-grandparents…

Logan's tears fell down her cheeks. I love you so much… she said, her voice barely audible.

Makoto writhed in pain in her lap. I do not want to die like this. He took her hand, placing it against his stomach. Please, my love, allow me to die honorably.

Logan froze at what he was suggesting. No, Makoto…I can't.

He cried out. Please! If you love me, you will!

Logan kissed him lightly on the lips one last time. I will always love you.

And I will always love you.

Logan roared into the night sky.

*SNIKT*


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter 11.******

**_I should have seen it coming when roses died  
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes  
I should have listened when you said good night  
You really meant good bye  
Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall  
You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing tall  
But only fools are know it alls and I played that fool for you  
I cried and I cried  
There were nights that died for you baby  
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby_**

**_  
If the love that I got for you is gone  
If the river I cried ain't that long  
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song_**

**_  
Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time  
Like we got away with the perfect crime  
But we were just a legend in my mind  
I guess that I was blind  
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade  
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade  
You and I were the renegades, some things never change  
It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby  
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving_**

**_  
If the love that I got for you is gone  
If the river I've cried ain't that long  
Then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song  
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong  
Is the reason that I'm holding on  
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song_**

  
**_I cried and I cried  
There were nights that I died for you baby  
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy  
If the love that I got for you is gone  
If the river I cried ain't that long  
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't no love song_**

**_  
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong  
Is the reason that I'm holding on  
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song  
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong  
Is the reason that I'm holding on  
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song  
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong, this ain't a love song  
  
_**

One more day and her house arrest/baby-sitting stint would be over. Logan glared through the control room viewing window down at Victor, watching him as he slashed holographic villains. She was tired of watching Victor fight the same simulation over and over again. Did the man have no creativity? 

He'd taken to fighting in nothing but a pair of worn, tight jeans, and Logan suspected it was just another one of his attempts to rile her. It wasn't working. The last thing Logan cared about was Victor Creed's perfectly formed chest.

"Hey frail, wanna come down here and give me a real work out?" Victor leered up at her.

Logan decided not to dignify the question with a response.

"Aw, come on, darlin'. It just ain't the same fightin' with anyone else but you."

"I'm not your darlin'," Logan mouthed through the glass. 

Victor blew her a kiss.

She flipped him off.

"Is that an offer?"

Logan rolled her eyes and went back to the book she was reading.

"You afraid to come down and fight me? Afraid I might get the better of you?"

Logan rolled her eyes. As if…

"Fine, stay up there. It would just be a waste of my time anyway. You'd never beat me just sparrin', frail. You have ta use those ginsu knives of yers to get anywhere with me."

Logan's head whipped around as she glared down at Victor. "Yer on!" she yelled, throwing her book down and running to the Danger Room.

Victor looked up and down her body as she walked into the room, grinning at her painted-on jeans and white tank top. "Nice outfit, frail. I always like something that shows yer rack."

Logan snarled, dropping into a fighting stance.

Victor grinned psychotically, crooking a finger at her. "Bring it on, darlin'."

"What have I told you about calling me that?"

Victor's grin grew longer. "Maybe I just need to make ya my darlin'."

"In your dreams, Creed."

He licked his lips. "And what sweet dreams they are."

Logan lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. Victor grinned. "I like this position, darlin'."

"Stop that!" Logan hissed, raising her hand to strike him.

Victor grabbed her hand, twisting it hard. She cried out and he flipped her, so their positions were reversed.

"Well look at what the big, bad kitty cat caught," he said, looking down at her. Logan struggled, but realized that Victor had her pinned. Normally, this is where she'd use her claws, but she couldn't this time. He'd challenged her…

She tried to break free, wriggling under him. Victor's eyes fogged over, and he growled low in his throat, the sound almost a purr. "Keep doin' that, frail. I like it."

Logan smelled the wave of lust that washed over Victor, and her eyes grew wide as she realized what she'd done. She grew stock-still.

Victor looked down with disappointment. "Aw, is that it?"

"Sorry, Creed, that's all the tease you're getting tonight."

Victor licked his lips. "Then maybe you should give me something other than a tease."

"Hell no."

Victor smirked. "I can smell yer heat, frail. You want me, too."

Logan did release her claws then, the hot metal slicing through Victor's hands. He howled, rearing up. She used the opportunity to get up, backing up from him. 

Victor looked up from the floor, watching her through hooded eyes. He licked the blood from his hands and grinned. "Don't ya wanna play, frail?"

"No."

"Liar."

Victor lunged at her, grabbing her and pinning her to the wall, using one of his massive hands to hold her arms above her head. She looked back at him defiantly. 

"I want you, Logan," he said, his voice suddenly more full of need than sarcasm.

Logan trembled, unable to speak. 

"I know ya want me, too."

"Don't, Victor…"

"Don't what?" 

He didn't let her answer. He kissed her, his fangs piercing her lip so he could taste her blood. Logan groaned.

Victor smiled against her lips as he realized she wasn't going to fight back. He reached out with his talons, bringing them down across her chest.

The tatters of her shirt fell to the ground.

Logan wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him flush against her body. Victor shivered.

This time it was Logan who kissed him, her teeth that bit through his lip. She kissed up his jaw, trailing his blood with her lips. "Let my hands go, Victor."

He did, and they went down, expertly undoing the clasp of his jeans. Victor sighed with relief. Logan looked down and smiled slightly.

"Like what you see, darlin'?"

Logan gave him a smile that Victor was pretty sure was the same damn look Eve had had when she gave Adam that apple. He ripped at the clasp of her jeans, growling when he couldn't get them to give. With a grunt of frustration, he ripped them from her body, leaving her naked to his eyes.

"You look even better than I imagined."

Logan reached up, running her fingers though his tawny mane. Victor purred. "I've wanted you for so long, Logan. So long…"

"Just shut up and do it, Victor."

Victor grinned. He liked his women feisty.

Logan slid away from Victor, picking up the tattered remains of her clothes. Victor reached out, touching her shoulder. "Darlin'…"

"I'm not your darlin'."

Victor pulled his hand back, as if he'd been burnt. "Oh."

"It's time for you to go back to your cell again, Creed."

"Logan, I…"

"Save it."

Victor picked up the sweatshirt he'd worn into the Danger Room. "Here."

Logan took it without question and slipped it over her head, the massive garment falling down to her knees.

They said nothing on the walk back to his cell. Victor stood outside the door, shifting uncomfortably in the awkward silence. "Logan, um…"

"Just get back in the cell where you belong, Creed."

Victor reared back, shock in his eyes. Even he wasn't that cold… "Yeah."

"Don't expect to see me tomorrow. I'm done playing nurse maid to you."

Victor nodded and walked back into the cell, sitting on the bed and waiting for Logan to shut the door.

When she did, it echoed in his cell long after she was gone.

Remy opened his door to see a sad-eyed Logan on the other side.  "What's wrong, chère?  Y'look like you jus' lost all your money in a crooked poker game."  

"Can I come in?"

"Me casa et su casa, chère."

Logan walked in a flopped on his bed, her face in her hands.  "Remy…I…"  She sighed.  "I did something really bad."  Remy's face paled.

"Oh merde, y'slept with Cyclops, didn' you?"  Logan looked up sharply.

"What?!  No!"  Remy sighed with relief.  

"Oh.  Good.  Well den, it can't be dat bad.  Why don' ya tell Remy all about it?"  He could have sworn Logan looked close to tears.

"I can't, Rem.  I…I just need someone to tell me it's okay."  She took in a shuddering breath.  Remy went to her and wrapped her up in a hug.  The last thing he wanted was his best friend crying.  He knew Logan's pride would never recover.  

"It'll be okay, chère.  Whatever it is, I'll still love ya."  He smiled.  

"I dunno about that," said Logan softly.  "I'm a bad person, Remy.  I'm no better than Creed."  Remy's face darkened.

"Don' say dat.  Don' you ever say dat, Logan.  You a million times better den dat _animal _could ever wish t'be."

"He's a person too, Remy.  We're alike."  

"Creed don' have a heart.  You do.  Whatever you did, y'could never be as bad as dat."  

"I'm not as far removed from that part of me as I want to be. It's always just a few steps behind, like a bloody shadow."

"Shhh," said Remy, holding her against him.  "It'll be okay, Logan.  I promise."

Logan wished she could believe him.  

Victor lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. In all his fantasies where he finally got Logan, it was never like this afterwards. She always wanted to stay.

For some reason, Victor had always held the idea that if he could just have Logan, things in his life would be better.

He had to laugh at his own naïveté. He, Victor Creed—Sabretooth—believed that some woman could make a real difference in his life.

He sat up, hitting the wall of his cell with a growl. The hard metal shattered his hand, but he didn't care. He relished the pain as long as it lasted. He could deal with physical pain over mental pain any day.

"Victor."

Sabretooth cursed under his breath. "I ain't in the mood fer a shrink right now, Chuck."

"I haven't come here to discuss your psychological issues, Victor. I have noticed that you have changed considerably since your…incident with Logan…"

Victor's eyes grew wide, until he realized that Xavier meant the deal with the claw in his brain. He relaxed again.

"I believe that it wouldn't be inadvisable to allow you more freedom to roam about the mansion. I have prepared a room for you that will be unlocked during most hours of the day. However, should you attempt to escape, you will be at the mercy of the security system of the mansion."

Victor nodded. "Don't worry, doc, I don't have any intentions of leavin' this popsicle stand." Creed decided not to add that leaving would bring him too far away from Logan.

"Very well. Come with me and I will show you to your room."

Victor followed the professor, realizing that it was all really quite absurd. An hour ago he'd been screwing Wolverine on the floor of the Danger Room. Now he was following Xavier around like one of his X-wearing lackeys.

Xavier took him up the elevator and through the upper levels of the mansion.  Victor noticed it was deserted.  "Kinda dead around here."

"I arranged for the X-Men to be elsewhere while you are transferred.  Too many mixed emotions come into play where you are involved, Victor."

"Ain't that a shame," said Victor.  Xavier rolled to a stop in front of a plain-looking wooden door.  

"These will be your quarters.  Your door will lock at 1 am sharp.  If you are not inside at that time, you will go straight back to your cell."  Victor smiled.

"Gee pop, can I have the car keys too?"  Xavier pursed his lips like a bald prune.  

"Do not take advantage of my hospitality, Victor.  You will be unpleasantly surprised."  Victor opened his door.

"Whatever, Chuck," he said before shutting it in the Professor's face.  

Logan pulled her bike up to the Auger Inn. It had been three months since she'd been able to leave the mansion, and she needed a place where she could get enough liquor to out-drink her healing factor.

"Logan! Long time no see!"

"Just shut up and keep 'em comin'," she growled to the bartender.

He frowned. "Rough night?"

"No, it's been all moonlight and roses. Now let me get drunk, dammit."

As many years as he'd been serving liquor to Logan, the bartender knew when to keep his mouth shut. "You got it."

Logan slammed back the shots as soon as he put them in front her. "Why don't you just give me the bottle?"

The bottle of Jack slammed down in front of her. She took a swig. The bartender walked off to deal with some of his more talkative patrons.

"Hey there, sexy."

Logan glared up from under the brim of her hat. A blond. She rolled her eyes. Just her damn luck. She turned away and went back to her drink.

"What's your name pretty lady?"

Logan continued to drink.

"Mine's Vic."

Logan stared at the bottle. Had she had too much to drink already? "Get the hell away from me," she growled.

The man stood up, deciding that maybe pursuing an intimate relationship with this woman was not the best of ideas.

Logan took a series of deep breaths. What was she doing? What had she done?

The jukebox played some sappy country love song, and Logan restrained herself from stopping it with her claws. 

Even the bar was too much for her that night. She felt surrounded. She left, all but running to her bike. She didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care. 

The sun was already rising before she made it back to the mansion. She slumped up to her room. She froze when she noticed Victor's sweatshirt was still in a wad on her bed. She picked it up, his scent surrounding her. She clung to it as she curled up in a ball and fell asleep.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter 12.**

**_Early one mornin' the sun was shinin',  
I was layin' in bed  
Wond'rin' if she'd changed at all  
If her hair was still red.  
Her folks they said our lives together  
Sure was gonna be rough  
They never did like Mama's homemade dress  
Papa's bankbook wasn't big enough  
And I was standin' on the side of the road  
Rain fallin' on my shoes  
Heading out for the East Coast  
Lord knows I've paid some dues gettin' through,  
Tangled up in blue  
  
She was married when we first met  
Soon to be divorced  
I helped her out of a jam, I guess,  
But I used a little too much force  
We drove that car as far as we could  
Abandoned it out West  
Split up on a dark sad night  
Both agreeing it was best.  
She turned around to look at me  
As I was walkin' away  
I heard her say over my shoulder,  
"We'll meet again someday on the avenue,"  
Tangled up in blue  
  
I had a job in the great north woods  
Working as a cook for a spell  
But I never did like it all that much  
And one day the ax just fell.  
So I drifted down to New Orleans  
Where I happened to be employed  
Workin' for a while on a fishin' boat  
Right outside of Delacroix  
But all the while I was alone  
The past was close behind,  
I seen a lot of women  
But she never escaped my mind, and I just grew  
Tangled up in blue  
  
She was workin' in a topless place  
And I stopped in for a beer,  
I just kept lookin' at the side of her face  
In the spotlight so clear  
And later on as the crowd thinned out  
I's just about to do the same,  
She was standing there in back of my chair  
Said to me, "Don't I know your name?"  
I muttered somethin' underneath my breath,  
She studied the lines on my face  
I must admit I felt a little uneasy  
When she bent down to tie the laces of my shoe,  
Tangled up in blue  
  
She lit a burner on the stove and offered me a pipe  
"I thought you'd never say hello," she said  
"You look like the silent type"  
Then she opened up a book of poems  
And handed it to me  
Written by an Italian poet  
From the thirteenth century.  
And every one of them words rang true  
And glowed like burnin' coal  
Pourin' off of every page  
Like it was written in my soul from me to you,  
Tangled up in blue  
  
I lived with them on Montague Street  
In a basement down the stairs,  
There was music in the cafes at night  
And revolution in the air  
Then he started into dealing with slaves  
And something inside of him died  
She had to sell everything she owned  
And froze up inside  
And when finally the bottom fell out  
I became withdrawn,  
The only thing I knew how to do  
Was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew,  
Tangled up in blue  
  
_She'd had to pawn her engagement ring to get out of Japan. She'd made her way back home, taking a flight to British Columbia.**

She hitchhiked as far as Alberta, desperate to be back on her native soil. 

She had nowhere to go, no money and nothing to cling too.  Logan ended up inside a smoky, run down bar where women wound themselves around poles for a bunch lumberjacks and truck drivers for money.  She went back for almost two weeks, until one of the girls ran off to get married.

Logan took her place.  Deep down, she knew that it was reprehensible and weak, but desperation kept her inner voice silent most of the time.  Besides, she was past giving a damn about herself or anyone else.  

She drifted from one bar to another, until they began to blur together.  She didn't know how much time had passed, but eventually the sharp edge of Makoto's death blunted against an endless stream of mostly nameless men.  She wasn't Wolverine any more, she wasn't even Logan.  'Patch' was her stage name, and she found another level of numbness in anonymity.  

_I met a gin-soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis  
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride  
She had to heave me right across shoulder  
'Cause I just can't seem to drink you off my mind_

Normally, Victor Creed would've been perfectly content to spend the night hanging out in a strip club, but as it was, he was stuck focusing on his latest hit—not the woman currently straddling a pole.

Still, he allowed himself a glance. He couldn't see her too well, through the distance and the smoke, but at least he could tell she was all but naked.

She flipped back, and Victor caught a quick look at her face. He started. It couldn't be… But her features were all too familiar. They were the ones that had haunted his dreams for years. 

Victor shook his head. He was just seeing her face on another woman—again. 

_It's the Honky Tonk Women  
Gimme, gimme, gimme the honky tonk blues_

Still, he had to admit, the resemblance was remarkable.  He tapped a local-looking customer on the shoulder.  "Who's the babe?"  The man looked back at him and grinned, the missing-a-few-teeth variety.

"That's Patch.  Ain't she somethin'?"  Victor agreed that she was.  He was about to make his way to the stage and see if "Patch" wanted to get a little more personal with him, but he saw his target moving towards the door.  Duty called.  Victor followed him out into the cold Canadian night.  

Logan leaned on the bar, having a drink after her last performance of the night. She saw a tall man walk in the room, and immediately picked up on how out of place he was. For starters, who the hell wore sunglasses in the middle of a dark bar?

He sat at a table, averting his eyes from the stage. Logan smirked. This guy had to be the worst undercover cop she'd ever seen.

She watched with morbid interest as he approached one of the guys in the bar. Just as she had suspected, it didn't take the narc long to piss someone off. Soon, he was surrounded by three of her worst-paying spectators. She sighed, slamming back the last of her drink. She better go save the guy. After all, he was sort of cute in a geeky way.

"You boys startin' trouble?"

The biggest of the three grinned down at her, showing off his lack of teeth. "Of course not, Miss Patch. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it."

"I'm sorry, but this 'pretty little head' can't help but worry. Why don't you walk away now and leave this boy alone."

Another of the guys frowned. "This is a man's business, babe. Run along now."

Logan sighed. Why did they always have to make is so difficult. She grabbed the guy, kneeing him hard, and then slamming her skull into his.

He fell to the ground, unconscious.

"That wasn't too nice, Ma'am," said one of the others.

"Yeah, whatcha gonna do about it, punk?"

The third man came up behind her, a knife in hand.

"Look out!" yelled the narc.

Logan spun around, claws extended. "I ain't impressed with that," she snarled.

"Holy shit!" the man said, dropping the knife to the ground. He and his friend back up, heading out of the bar as quickly as possible. 

Logan looked up, the owner of the bar staring at her from a few feet away. She pulled her claws back in, and he glared at her.

"Get outta my bar, freak."

Logan pulled her hat down over her eyes, flipping the bar owner off as she walked out. Like she needed him and his greasy-fingered "patrons." 

"Wait!"

"Flamin' hell," Logan muttered. The narc was following her out.

"You're a mutant aren't you?"

"Wow, it's Mr. Observant," Logan grumbled. 

"I'm a mutant, too."

Logan spun around, looking at him from under the wide brim. "Great. Let's hug and go on Oprah."

The man stuck out his hand. "Scott Summers."

Logan shook his hand tentatively. This man wasn't exactly on her list of favorite people at the moment. He had just cost her her job… "Look, I need to be getting home…" she told him.

"Where's home?" he asked.

Logan pointed to a trailer hooked to the back of a Land Cruiser. 

"Looks…cozy."

Logan gave him another glare. 

"Um, look, I belong to a group of mutants in Upstate New York. It's like…a team. Are you interested in checking it out?"

Logan shuddered at the mention of the word "team." As if that had ever gone well before. "Sorry, bub, not interested."

"Scott, you comin' back to de car anytime soon?"

Scott sighed. "Just a minute, Remy!"

"Who's that?" Logan asked.

"Another…teammate."

Logan craned her neck, trying to see him. He made that a little easier by getting out of the car. "My, my who's dis pretty _femme?"_

"Names Logan, gumbo."

"Logan Gumbo…dat's an interesting name."

Logan smirked. She liked this guy.

"Remy!"

Remy sighed. "What, chère?"

"Why'd you get out of the dang car?"

"To see if Scott needed help."

"I'm sure Scott's fine! Get away from the strip club!"

Logan tried to suppress her laughter at the scene. She wasn't sure who these people were, but they were more screwed up than her. "So what's this team…Scott, was it?"

"We're a team of mutants who are fighting to prevent a war between humans and mutants."

Logan raised her eyebrow.

"Dere's free food."

Logan laughed. "Well, you've sold me then. I'll come give it a look." 

Logan looked around the mansion that Remy, Scott, and Rogue had brought her to. It certainly wasn't like any place she'd ever been before.

"Hi!."

Logan turned at the perky voice. "Um, hi."

"I'm Katherine Pryde—but everyone calls me Kitty."

"I'm Logan—but everyone calls me Logan."

Kitty frowned. "A bit sarcastic I see."

"Just a tad."

"Well I'm glad you're here anyway. We X-Women need to stick together."

"I haven't signed up for your little outfit as anything but a temporary member yet, so don't be getting any big ideas," Logan said.

"I think you'll like it here," Kitty said. "We're like one big happy family."

"Great. Just what I need," Logan muttered.

"I was attempting sarcasm," Kitty said.

Logan smirked. "Try a little harder next time, kid."

"Hey, you wanna come down and eat lunch with me?"

Logan started to say no, but changed her mind. Maybe she should attempt to be a bit more social than she was on Alpha Flight. Maybe things would work out better that way…

"Yeah, okay."

"Great!" Kitty bounced out into the hallway with Logan close behind her.

"I tol' you, chère, I jus' fell asleep in the rec room!"

"I don't believe you, you lyin' swamp rat!"

"But it's de trut'! I was watchin' de Star Trek marat'on on de Sci-Fi Channel!"

"You don't expect me to actually believe that crap about you bein' a Trekkie, do ya?"

"But I am, chère! Cap'n Kirk changed my life!"

Kitty just walked right between Rogue and Gambit, not even giving them a glance. Logan followed her, but then stopped when Rogue hit Gambit into the nearest wall. "Shouldn't we help him?" Logan asked.

"Oh this happens all the time," Kitty said. "It's their substitute for sex."

Logan decided not to ask for an elaboration on that comment. "So is this place always this crazy?"

"Oh no. This is much too calm for a normal X-Day."

Logan smiled. Maybe she had found a place where she could belong…

"Logan, I'd like you to try and relax," said Professor Xavier.  Logan looked at the redheaded woman in front of her nervously.  

"This won't hurt a bit," she said.  

"No offense, but I'm not crazy about someone I barely know poking around in my head."  Xavier wheeled to her side.  

"Jean is my most skilled telepath, Logan.  You can trust her."  Jean reached out her hands, smiling, and placed them lightly on Logan's temples.  Logan fought the urge to jerk away.  

"Close your eyes, breath deeply," Jean instructed.  Her own green eyes closed.  Logan kept hers open, even though the professor frowned at her.  She felt an odd sensation creeping over her, an unpleasant tingle.  Jean's expression changed from one of serenity to worry, and then to panic.  She gasped and jerked away from Logan, her eyes flying open.  

"Jean?" said Xavier.  Jean looked at him with wide, panicky eyes.  "Jean," he said.  "Come back to me."  Jean blinked and took a deep breath.  Logan looked at her.

"What did you see?"  Jean pushed her hands through her hair and sat up straighter.

"Professor, we need to talk."  Xavier nodded.

"Thank you, Logan.  You may go."  Logan stood up and started for the door of his study.

"You have no memories," said Jean softly.  Logan snorted.

"Oh really?  I forgot."  She left.  

"Professor, I've never seen anything like her mind before," Jeans said. "It frightened me."

Xavier frowned. "What did you see?"

"It was dark. Pieces of it were missing—as if they were slashed away. What memories are left were shrouded in pain." Jean shuddered. "She's so angry, Professor."

Xavier stroked his chin. "Do you believe her to be dangerous to the rest of the team?"

Jean thought about the question. "Not at the moment, but I sensed a level of instability. She could snap, Professor—and then she would be a liability to the rest of the team."

"Then we'll have to see that that doesn't happen."

"Professor, I don't think it's wise to allow her to remain at the mansion. We don't know what she's capable of." She lowered her voice. "Scott said when he found her she was in…well, a less than savory place."

"It is not our policy to turn our backs on our fellow mutants," Xavier said. "Should Logan prove to be a problem, then yes, I would be forced to remove her. However, until that should become a reality and not a mere theory, then I want her to remain. If she is as troubled as you've said, then maybe we could help her."

"But what if she's beyond help?"

"Do you believe she is?"

Jean sighed. "No."

Outside the mansion, Logan paced across the grounds.  Whatever Jean had done to her had stirred up a flurry of dark thoughts that wouldn't quite come to the surface.  They made her feel nervous and jumpy.  She couldn't stand being inside the mansion another second.  

There was a rumble and Logan looked up.  Perfect.  It was going to rain on her.  However, the sky was clear, with only a few fluffy white clouds high above her.  The thunder was coming from the rose garden.  

Logan knew she'd probably regret it but she had to investigate.  She came around the hedgerow and saw a tall, elegant black woman with long white hair, maneuvering a small rain cloud around the opulent rose bushes.  Logan's eyebrows went up.  The woman sensed someone behind her and turned.

"Oh, hello."

"Hi," said Logan.  The woman came over, the cloud dissipating.  

"I don't believe we've met.  Are you Xavier's new recruit?"  

"Not sure I'm staying, but yes."  The woman shook her hand.  

"I'm Ororo, but most people call me Storm."  

"I'm Logan."  Ororo cocked her head.

"You look upset, Logan."  Logan scuffed the grass with a toe.  

"I just had to go through this mind-scanner thing with the redhead and the professor.  It was kinda weird."  Storm smiled.  

"Jean's beside manner is a little lacking.  And one's first experience with a telepath is always unsettling.  But Xavier insists all potential X-Men be scanned to make sure they are not a threat."  

"Well I guess it beats peeing in a cup."  Storm laughed.  

"Are you going to stay?"  Logan shrugged.

"You people seem sort of disorganized.  And there's a whole bunch of kids running around."

"Xavier also runs a school for mutant children," said Storm.  "A place where they can be accepted and learn to use their gifts for the benefit of humanity."  

"You guys all have the same line, don't you?"  

"I believe it," said Storm.  "For what it is worth, many troubled mutants have found a home here, Logan.  We are not quick to judge.  Perhaps you should give Xavier a chance."

"I'm really not a team player, Storm."  Storm smiled widely.  

"Neither was I.  But I adjusted.  You will too."  

"We'll see," said Logan, walking deeper into the woods.  

Logan knocked on the door to the professor's study. "You wanted to see me, Chuck?"

Xavier gave her a stern look. "My name is Professor Xavier—or if you must, Charles."

"Fine, Charlie. You wanted to see me?"

Xavier sighed. "Yes, come in."

Logan strolled into the room, sitting down in the chair across from him. "What's up, prof?"

"I have reviewed what information we were able to gather on you, and I have decided to extend you an offer to become an official member of the X-Men."

Logan thought for a moment. Did she really want to tie herself down to a team again? Bad memories of Alpha Flight came flooding back. But on the other hand, this place felt more like home than any other place ever had. She didn't want to go back to the life she'd been living in Canada. She wanted something real again.

"I'll do it—but under one condition."

"What's that, Logan?"

"You let me live my own life. I know you got your rules, and I'll try to follow the ones I think are important, but as far as my own time goes, it's mine. I can leave when I want, and I don't have to play any stupid little games."

"Fair enough. You're an adult. I can't impose the same sort of rules on you that I do on my younger students. As long as your behavior does not put the team in immediate danger, then I can allow you your freedom while you remain a member of the X-Men."

"Thanks, Chuck."

Xavier stuck his hand across the desk. "Welcome to the X-Men, Logan."

Logan took his hand.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter 13.**

**_Midnight_****_ gettin' uptight where are you  
You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two  
I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you_**

**_Hey Jack it's a fact they're talkin' in town  
I turn my back and you're messin' around  
I'm not really jealous don't like lookin' like a clown_**

**_I think of you ev'ry night and day  
You took my heart then you took my pride away_**

**_I hate myself for loving you  
Can't break free from the things that you do  
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why  
I hate myself for loving you_**

**_Daylight spent the night without you  
But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do  
I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through_**

**_Hey man bet you can treat me right  
You just don't know what you was missin' last night  
I wanna see your face and say forget it just from spite_**

**_I hate myself for loving you  
Can't break free from the things that you do  
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why  
I hate myself for loving you_**

**_I hate myself for loving you  
Can't break free from the things that you do  
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why  
I hate myself for loving you_**

**_I think of you ev'ry night and day  
You took my heart then you took my pride away_**

**_I hate myself for loving you  
Can't break free from the things that you do  
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why  
I hate myself for loving you  
  
_**

Remy strolled past the rec room, whistling to himself. He stooped, his eyes growing wide. Was he hallucinating? He backed up slowly, his breath stopping as he looked in the door. 

Victor Creed was sitting on the X-Men's couch, watching television in nothing but a pair of sleep pants, and eating a big bowl of Sugar Bombs. He looked up at Remy. "Hey, Cajun."

"What de hell are you doin' here?"

"Chuckie let me out. You wanna watch _Universal Soldier?"_

Remy backed up slowly. "_Non."_

"Why not? I figured you fer a Van Damme fan." Victor cocked his head to the side. "Y'know, if they ever made a movie outta this freak-show you people call I team, I can see Van Damme playin' you."

Remy backed up a little more, then ran down the hall. He banged on Logan's door.

"What the hell do you want, gumbo?" Logan growled.

"Creed!"

Logan's eyes grew wide. "Did he escape again?"

"Worse! De professor let him out! He's eatin' my Sugar Bombs!"

For a moment, Logan was speechless.  "You better not be joking, Remy."

"Would I joke about somet'in' like dis?"  Logan shook her head slowly.

"Why…?  Doesn't Xavier know what he is?"

"I t'ink Xavier's flipped his bald lid, chère."  Remy expected Logan to storm down to the professor's study and go on one of her frequent rants, but all she did was step back slowly into her room.

"I can't deal with this right now, Remy."  Remy looked worried.  

"You gonna be okay, chère?"  

"Are you?"

"I dunno."  

"Me either," said Logan quietly before shutting her door.

Victor opened the fridge, his eyes gleaming at a big package of roast beef. He wasn't much of a cook, but he made a mean sandwich.

He stopped. He knew that scent. It was one of his favorites… He closed the refrigerator door and went after her. "Hey, runt!"

Logan kept walking. She wasn't in the mood to see him.

"Logan! I wanna talk to you!"

She walked faster.

Victor bounded up to her, grabbing her by the shoulder and spinning her around to face him. "I said I wanna talk to you."

Logan pushed his hand off of her. "Well I don't want to talk to you."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I hate you, Creed," Logan growled. "You're the most despicable creature I have ever known. You make me sick."

Victor narrowed his eyes at her. "Come on, baby, you can't mean that now. Remember how I made you scream?" He winked at her.

Logan reeled. She didn't want to think about that. "Creed, don't…"

"Don't what?" he asked, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Remind you of the best damn fuck you ever had."

Logan glared at him. "You are so damn full of yourself."

"What are you afraid of, runt? Afraid you might like it too much? Afraid you might not be able to stop yourself from doin' it again?"

"I will _never_ screw you again, _Victor_."

Victor grinned viciously at her, then descended on her mouth, kissing her with a mixture of lust and anger. Logan immediately responded, kissing him back with the same amount of fury.

Victor pulled back and dropped her down to the ground. "Never, huh?" He walked off, chuckling to himself.

"Fuck you, Creed!" Logan yelled, pulling herself to her feet.

"A little late fer that, runt!" he called back, leaving her alone in the hallway.

Alone in his room, Victor stopped smiling.  He had been almost sure Logan still wanted him, and now he had proved it, but for some reason he didn't feel any satisfaction.  She had hurt him and he had hurt her back.  

If he was honest with himself, Victor had never wanted to hurt Logan.  Sure, they had more bad blood between them than some Middle Eastern countries, but he didn't want to see her suffer.  It didn't bring him any satisfaction.  

In fact, it made him feel shitty.  Victor growled to himself, pacing the small bedroom like it was a steel cage.  He didn't do this—he didn't form attachments to anyone.  He didn't have a heart, as the runt had pointed out to him on numerous occasions.  Let the little weaklings deal with the lovey-dovey crap.  Sabretooth didn't need anyone.

But Victor needed Logan.  

Logan pounded a holographic Sabretooth into the floor, relishing the sterile nature of the Danger Room scenario. This Victor couldn't make her feel like she wasn't in control. He couldn't taunt her. He couldn't infuriate her.

He couldn't make her want him.

The scenario ended and Logan slumped. She glanced over at the wall, shivering the memory that flooded her mind. She could almost still smell him, could remember the way his skin felt against hers. She unsheathed her claws, running towards the wall, clawing the spot where'd they'd been.

Kitty watched from the control room. She leaned forward into the microphone. "Uh, Logan, the simulation's over. You're not hallucinating Creeds, are you?"

Logan jumped back, looking up. "No!" She stormed out of the room.

Kitty sighed, closing her abnormal psychology text book and going after her. "Hey, wait a sec!" she called. "Logan, you all right?"

"I'm fine, Kit."

"I guess Sabretooth being here is really messin' with you, huh?"

"Yeah."

"You know, sometimes I wonder how much between you and Victor is really hate, and how much it's something else."

Logan's gaze shot up. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Come on, Logan—have you ever stopped to think about the way you and Creed fight? You jump on top of each other and roll around on the ground, getting all sweaty. And what would Freud say about the whole sticking the claw in him thing."

"Fuck Freud," Logan growled. She shot Kitty a warning look. "You're walking on thin ice, Pryde."

"Just making an observation…"

"I have to go take a shower," Logan muttered. 

"All right, talk to you later."

"Yeah."

Victor watched the clock's second hands tick slowly past midnight, and sighed.  Another hour until he was locked down in his plush little prison.  The mansion was silent.  The X-Men all seemed to go to bed at a disgustingly early hour, except for the Cajun, and he wasn't staying up in the mansion.  He wandered from the rec room into the kitchen, stopping when he saw the refrigerator light on.  Logan was standing in front of the door staring at the contents.  Victor cleared his throat uncomfortably.  She turned her head a little towards him.

"Hey, Creed."

"Hey."  She shut the door without taking anything out.  

"Can't sleep?"

"Nah.  You?"  She shook her head.  "Logan…" he started.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Victor.  As far as I'm concerned, it never happened."  His blond brows drew together.  

"You and I both know that's bullshit, Logan."  She stood in the center of the tile floor, barefoot, wearing ratty boxers and an oversized hockey jersey.  

"It would never work out, Creed."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."  Victor fought the urge to reach out and take her.  She was so beautiful, even with messy hair and pajamas—she'd been beautiful since he first laid eyes on her.  But she couldn't stand him.  

"You keep thinkin' that then, runt," was all he said.  "Denial seems to be a good way of copin' for ya.  Hope it works out."  He turned on his heel and went to bed.  


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter 14.**

**_We both lie silently still_**

**_In the dead of the night_**

**_Although we both lie close together_**

**_We feel miles apart inside_**

****

**_Was it something I said or something I did_**

**_Did my words not come out right_**

**_Though I tried not to hurt you_**

**_Though I tried_**

**_But I guess that's why they say_**

****

**_ Every rose has it's thorn_**

**_Just like every night has it's dawn_**

**_Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song_**

**_Every rose has it's thorn_**

****

**_Yeah it does_**

****

**_I listen to our favorite song_**

**_Playing on the radio_**

**_Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go_**

**_But I wonder does he know_**

**_Has he ever felt like this_**

**_And I know that you'd be here right now_**

**_If I could have let you know somehow_**

**_I guess_**

****

**_Every rose has it's thorn_**

**_Just like every night has it's dawn_**

**_Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song_**

**_Every rose has it's thorn_**

****

**_Though it's been a while now_**

**_I can still feel so much pain_**

**_Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals_**

**_But the scar, that scar remains_**

****

**_I know I could have saved a love that night_**

**_If I'd known what to say_**

**_Instead of makin' love_**

**_We both made our separate ways_**

****

**_But now I hear you found somebody new_**

**_And that I never meant that much to you_**

**_To hear that tears me up inside_**

**_And to see you cuts me like a knife_**

**_I guess_**

****

**_Every rose has it's thorn_**

**_Just like every night has it's dawn_**

**_Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song_**

**_Every rose has it's thorn_**

"BIRDY!!!"

Victor waited a moment. No answer. He growled. "BIRDY, get yer skinny ass in here!"

Birdy's blonde head poked in through the door. "Yes, boss?"

"Get me somethin' ta drink, woman. Somethin' strong."

"Make your own damn drink," Birdy snapped.

Victor stood to his full height. "I said get me a drink!"

Birdy scurried from the room.

Victor slammed his hand down on his desk. He felt like he was stuck in a rut. The damn bloodlust had gotten too much for him, and now he had his little "assistant" make them go away. 

She was an asset when he needed the Glow. Beyond that…

Victor growled. He needed to go out. He needed fresh air and bloodshed.

"Here's your drink, boss."

Victor knocked it out of Birdy's hand. "I don't want it." He started for the door.

"Where ya goin', boss?"

"Out. Just be ready to give me the Glow when I get back."

"Yes, boss," Birdy said, her voice holding a tinge of sarcasm.

She sat down on the couch and began reading the latest issue of _Vogue_.

"Whatcha got, Rogue?"  Rogue grinned at Logan.

"Read 'em and weep, gals."  She set down a straight.  Kitty and Storm grumbled and threw their cards down.  Logan just grinned right back and put down a straight flush of hearts.  "Gosh darn it!"  Rogue threw her hand at Logan.  

"Now now, there's no call for that kind of language," said Kitty in a smarmy tone that eerily mimicked Jean's.  The other three women at the card table burst out laughing.  

"Who's deal is it?" Logan asked.  Storm took the deck and began to shuffle.  Logan took a sip of her beer and fiddled with her chips.

"Hey," said Kitty, who had the smallest pile.  "Have you guys every played truth or dare poker?"

"We're not seventeen, Kitty," said Rogue.  Kitty shot her a look.

"Fine then, you can go join the AARP while we play."  Logan snickered.  

"I think maybe you've had enough beer, Kit."  

"What is truth or dare poker?" said Storm, dealing.  

"Losers tell the truth or take a dare from the winner," said Kitty.  She picked up her cards.  "So are you in?"

"Sure, what the hell," said Logan.  

Kitty grinned. "Deal us in, 'Ro."

Logan couldn't believe of all her dumb luck, this would've been the time she got nothing better than a pair of deuces. And the gleam in Kitty's eyes made Logan nervous.

She turned to Logan first. "All right, Wolvie, truth or dare?"

Logan pondered the question for a moment. She had a sudden mental montage of all the possible dares Kitty could come up with. She decided a truth would be safer. Maybe it would be something that would let her claim amnesia.

"Truth."

Kitty's grin made her look like the Cheshire Cat. "If you could do any man in the mansion, who would it be?"

Logan balked. Rogue and Storm gasped. "Can I take a pass?"

"Nope. You took the truth. Or do you want me to tell Remy who really put those extra miles on his precious baby?"

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me." 

"I'm not answerin' the question, Pryde."  

"You are such a wuss," said Kitty.  "Fine…I'll just go down the list, and you say yes or no."  

"This should be interesting…" said Storm.  Logan glared at her before turning back to Kitty.

"I'm gonna get you for this, Shadowcat."  

"Whatever, Logan.  Bobby?"

"Uh…he's a little immature for me, Kitty."  

"Beast?"

"God, no.  You're a freak, Pryde."  Kitty rolled her eyes.

"You should talk.  Remy?"  Logan saw Rogue's suddenly homicidal look and quickly averted her eyes.

"Nope."  Kitty's mouth dropped open.

"Ohmigod.  Scott?!"  Logan didn't reply, but the redness creeping into her cheeks answered for her.  "Oh my god!" Kitty shrieked again.  "I don't believe it!"

"I didn't say yes!"

"You didn't have to, sugah," said Rogue, giggling.  "You're turnin' reddern' a maple leaf."  Even Storm was struggling not to laugh.

"Well…I suppose there are worse choices, Logan."

"Shut up, Ororo!"  

"D'you know what Jean would do to you if she knew?" said Rogue.

"Never mind Logan—what about poor Cyclops?" said Kitty.  Logan put her head in her hands.

"If you guys tell anyone I'll kill you."  Storm patted her hand.

"Your secret is safe with us, Logan."  

"Yeah, we won't tell on ya," Rogue assured her.  "Scott needs t'cut loose."  She grinned wickedly.  "Maybe you can help him."  

Logan wished she had taken the dare.

Unaware of the secrets being divulged a floor above their heads, the males of the X-Men gathered in the rec room, watching a football game. The Saints were playing. Remy was happy, albeit a bit in denial, believing being behind 21 points in the last two minutes of the fourth quarter wasn't the kiss of death.

"I'm surprised Jean hasn't come to fetch you yet, Scott," Bobby said, leaning back on the couch. "Usually by now she'll come down and tell you it's passed your bedtime."

Even with his glasses, it was apparent Scott was glaring at Bobby. "Just because she wants me with her when she goes to sleep doesn't make her some sort of shrew, Drake."

"Whatever, man." Bobby smirked. "You know who I'd like with me when I sleep? Logan."

Remy looked over at him. "I t'ought you loved Kitty. Five minutes ago she was de woman of your dreams."

"Yeah, but Logan's really, really hot. I mean, have you seen her ass in her uniform? Makes it really hard to concentrate in battle."

"You shouldn't talk about Wolverine that way," Scott scolded. "She's your teammate and deserves respect."

"Like you aren't thinking it, too," Bobby said. "I've seen you try to look down her shirt in training sims."

Scott's face began to match his glasses. "I do not!"

The game over, Remy focused on the conversation. "Y'know, mon ami, it's pretty obvious. You t'ink we believe it's 'accidental' all dose time you brush up against her?"

"I wouldn't do that to Logan!"

Beast looked up from his newspaper. "You did with Jean back in the early days of the team. Maybe it is a behavior pattern with you, Scott."

"You're not against me, too, Hank?!"

Hank shrugged. "I'm just stating the obvious, my friend."

"C'mon, Scottie, admit it," Bobby said, a gleam in his eye. "You think Logan's one hot mama."

"You are so immature, Drake."

"LOGAN AND SCOTTIE SITTING IN A TREE…"

"Knock it off, Drake!" Scott said in his Fearless Leader Voice.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES…"

"All right, fine! I think she's cute! Just be quiet about it already."

The four men in the rec room turned when someone in the hallway cleared her throat. Scott felt his stomach drop. "Uh, hey, Jean."

"Scott, can I talk to you in our room?" she asked crisply.

"Yeah." Scott stood up. "Night, guys."

"Night," the others replied in unison.

"Man, I wouldn't want to be him tonight," Bobby said when Scott and Jean were gone.

"I wouldn't want to be you," Hank said.

"Why not?"

"Because," Remy replied, "What would you do to de guy who made you get in trouble wit your fiancée if you were Scott?"

Bobby sighed and put his chin in his hands.

"Well, I guess I better get ready for some six a.m. Danger Room sessions."

Birdy glared at Victor as she picked up his bloody clothes from the floor of his bedroom, where he had dropped them.  He grinned back at her.  "Waitin' on ya, Birdy," he drawled.  Birdy shoved his suit into the closet and padded to the foot of the bed, preparing to give him the Glow.

"Not there," he said.  Birdy sighed.

"I need to be able to work, Mr. Creed."  He growled.

"You do what I tell ya, Birdy—or did you forget that already?"  He patted a spot on the bed next to his naked body.  "C'mere, frail."  Birdy sniffed and sat primly on the spot.  If she hadn't been sure he'd break her jaw if she said 'no', she would have told him to fuck off and find his own damn Glow.  She took a deep breath, and hit him with it.

Inside Victor's mind, she bypassed the usual bloody images from his latest hit and went to the pulsating source of his rage and lust to kill.  She had to soothe it, like an angry wound, or Victor wouldn't rest until he'd killed again.  Birdy looked at what was in front of her.  A cabin, surrounded by tall, forbidding evergreen trees.  Birdy stepped forward, making herself a part of the scene.

Immediately, she found herself indoors, poised over a handsome man with dark skin and long black hair.  Bloody claw marks ran down his face, and Birdy was nearly overcome by the sense of hatred that raged around this particular part of Creed's mind.  It wasn't his usual base bloodlust—Victor had well and truly despised this man.  

Using all her telepathic strength, Birdy forced the image back into the recesses of Victor's subconscious.  It was harder than ever before, and she felt her own skull nearly splitting with the effort.  Dimly, she heard Victor moan and knew she was making progress.  She pushed again, using the last of her strength, and the image faded almost wholly.  She hadn't gotten all of it, but it would hold him.  She'd just have to book a new hit ASAP.  

Birdy came back to reality, shuddering in a ball on the floor of Creed's room.  She'd fallen off the bed.  He could have cared less.

"Get outta here," he said.  "You did good."  Birdy made her way out of the room on shaky legs and collapsed on her own bed, wondering in spite of herself who the man in Victor's head had been, and why he had merited such hatred.  

Birdy looked behind her to see if Victor was in the hallway, then put down her feather duster. She hated doing Creed's housework, but at least it gave her the occasional chance to snoop. She was hopelessly curious.

She opened a drawer in his desk and found it filled with old pictures, papers, and small trinkets. Most of it looked older than Birdy's parents. She picked up the picture on the top. It was an old, dog-eared, black and white photo, set in jungle scenery that Birdy figured was Vietnam. Victor was standing, heavily loaded with artillery, next to a woman similarly outfitted. He had his arm around her, and they both were smiling. She was surprised to see it was a genuine smile on Victor's face, not his usual maniacal grin.

"Didn't ya ever hear what curiosity did to the cat—or rather what the cat did to the curious…" 

Birdy jumped in the air, dropping the picture to the ground. Victor snatched it off the ground. "Boss!"

Victor hit her, knocking her to the ground. "That's private, Birdy."

Birdy rubbed her jaw, shakily pulling herself to her feet. "Who is she, boss?"

"None of yer goddam business."

"You two look really happy…"

Victor's eyes grew dark, and he lunged at Birdy, picking her up and throwing her in the hallway. "You don't know nothin' about that!" he yelled at her, slamming and locking the door.

Birdy got up, dusted herself off, and went down the hall.

Birdy knew as soon as Victor came in the room, he was mad. She looked up, trying to smile. "You need something, boss."

"Just strip and shut up."

Birdy decided not to argue. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.

"Turn around. I don't want to look at yer face."

"You're such a romantic, Mr. Creed."

Victor growled low in his throat. "Don't make me wanna gut yer sarcastic little ass."

"Yes, boss," Birdy said with a sigh.

Victor undid his fly as he watched her undress. He wished her hair wasn't so damn blonde. The woman he wanted now had black hair. But he didn't have the energy to find a suitable replacement for the woman of his fantasies. Besides, Birdy was the one who'd gotten him in this state anyway, pulling out that old picture from his Team X days.

She'd help him push back a different kind of urge now, something that couldn't be driven away by the Glow.

Logan cursed as she dropped her wrench and it slid away from her. She stood up.

"Drop this?"

She gave Scott a half smile and took the wrench. "Thanks, Cyke."

"Working on your bike again?"

"Yeah. Here to work on your car?"

"Yeah."

"You know, you were in here working on it yesterday, and it was running just fine."

Scott sighed. "I know. It just calms me, you know. You put the parts in a car, and it works. No complications, no shades of gray."

"You and Jean having problems?"

"No. Well, not really. I'm sorta in the doghouse, but it's no big deal."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Logan could've sword she saw Scott blush a little. "No."

"All right." Logan went back to her motorcycle, and Scott to his car. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them. In the garage, they'd put any tension from the team behind them, neither upsetting the sense of zen the fine art of mechanics gave them.

Birdy noticed something different in Creed that night. It was like he was in another world. She was in his arms physically, but not mentally. 

"Are you all right, boss."

Victor growled as he re-zipped his pants. He wasn't in the mood for Birdy to be mouthy.

"I'm just asking 'cause you weren't acting like you usually do tonight. Is it because of that girl in the picture?"

"You don't know when to shut yer yap, do ya, girlie?"

"You didn't act like you were with me tonight, Mr. Creed. It was like you were with someone else. Was it her?"

Victor didn't even have the energy to take his anger out on her. "Yer stupid, frail. One of these days, it's gonna get ya in trouble."

"Mr. Creed…"

"Shut it if ya wanna keep it, Birdy!" Victor yelled as he left the room.

Birdy slumped in a chair and pouted.

"Boss, after this job is over, can we go shopping?"

"No, Birdy."

"But you promised!"

"Well, I fuckin' lied to ya then."  

Birdy wondered why she bothered with Victor Creed. He took her to New York, made her wander through sewers, and she couldn't even have a good shopping spree at Bloomingdale's or Saks. 

She looked over at him, taking in his rippling muscles. Suddenly, she remembered why she stuck around.

"Why you so nervous, Cajun?"

Remy's eyes shifted from shadow to shadow. "I don' like sewers, Wolverine chère. Bad mem'ries."

"Everyone quiet," hissed Scott.  "We don't want to be detected by the enemy."

"And who is that, exactly?" asked Kitty.  

"We don't know that, Katherine," said Jean imperiously.  "The Professor didn't relay that information."  Logan stopped and sniffed.

"Someone in this tunnel here.  Two of them, actually."  Scott pointed at Shadowcat.  

"Go check it out, Kitty."  Kitty nodded and phased silently through the tunnel wall.  Jean put a hand to her forehead.  

"I sense a strong mental signal from one of them, Scott—one with blocks in place."  Scott frowned.

"Everyone be ready."  He turned up the setting on his visor and Remy gave his staff a twirl.  

"Ohmigod," said Kitty, phasing back through the wall.  "It's Sabretooth!"  Scott glowered from under his visor.

"Great."

"What's he doing here?" Jean demanded.  Kitty spread her hands.  

"Don't ask me, Phoenix.  He's up the tunnel with a blond chick."  Logan turned to Remy.

"Who's Sabretooth?"  It was a little hard to tell in the dim light, but she thought Remy had gone paler than usual.

"Uh…I dunno, chère.  Ain't been wit' de team long enough to memorize de rogue's gallery."  Cyclops motioned his team into various shadows.  

"Be ready at my signal," he whispered.  Logan pressed herself back against the curving tunnel wall, ready to unsheathe her claws if something nasty should come around the corner.  Somehow she didn't think a guy named _Sabretooth _would be the most pleasant person on earth.  

Voices approached from down the tunnel, a male's and a female's.  The woman seemed to be complaining about something, and he was telling her to shut the hell up.  

As soon as the tall, blond man stepped into view, Logan froze.  Her memories didn't return very often but now was one was rushing back and it wasn't pleasant.  If she could just think…  The man also stopped short, sniffing the air.

"Smells like X-geek in here, Birdy."  The blonde clung closer to him.

"Whaddaya mean, Mr. Creed?"  

_Creed._

"Creed!" said Scott sharply, stepping out in front of the man.  "I should have guessed we'd find you down here."  The other X-Men also showed themselves, surrounding their two foes.  Creed heaved a mock-frustrated sigh.

"Well shit, ya got me."  He turned slowly, regarding the other mutants.  "Looks like the gang's all here, huh Cyclops?"  He leered at Jean.  "Howya doin', red?"  She narrowed her eyes.

"Why did you come back to the tunnels, Creed?"

"That's fer me ta know and you to find out, gorgeous."  Logan shivered at his gravelly voice—he was so familiar and yet she didn't know why.  It was enough to drive her crazy.  "Well well, looks like some new blood," he said, looking down at Kitty.  "Aren't you kinda small ta be playin' with the big kids, girlie?"

"Bite me," snapped Kitty.  

"Leave her alone, _homme_, or I'm gonna burn off dat ugly face," said Remy, stepping in front of Kitty.  Creed grinned wider.

"Hell, Remy.  Haven't seen you in a dog's age."  He frowned.  "Since when are you playin' fer the angel's team?"

"You better shut de hell up, Creed."  Jean and Scott were watching the exchanged with puzzled expressions.  

"You won't get the drop on me this time, bayou boy," Creed snarled at Remy, making a move towards him.

"Touch him and pull back a stump," Logan growled, stepping to Remy's shoulder.  She didn't really expect the man to stop—someone that big always had a false sense of superiority—but to her great surprise he did, almost rearing back.  The shock quickly faded, and he started to laugh.  

"I'll be damned.  Not one but two of my dear old friends."  He smiled at her, in what Logan could have sworn was an affectionate manner.  "Howya doin', Wolverine?"  

Suddenly, like she'd been hit by a city bus, Logan remembered.

_They call me Sabretooth._

_They call me Wolverine._

_Aren't those little snarly things that run around the Canadian wilderness?_

_They can rip a man apart._

_So can I, frail.  _

Sabretooth…blood…blood on his claws, blood from Silver Fox staining the floor and the walls.  Silver Fox was dead.  Creed had killed him.  All because…

"Creed," Logan snarled, her claws popping out.  "I remember you!" she shouted as she leapt at him.  Sabretooth never had a chance to defend—Logan's attack caught him completely off guard.  He hit the ground with Logan on top, her claws bent on ripping him to shreds.  

"_Merde!_" Remy shouted, jumping out of the way.  

"Wolverine, stand down!" Scott ordered her.  Logan heard neither of them.  She was back in the red place, the part of her that she tried to hard to keep hidden and buried.  The last time it had surfaced she had killed Shingen Yashida.

And now she was going to kill Creed.  

Logan's head rang as he batted her off him and into a wall, claw marks down her cheek already healing.

"Guess you're still a little ticked with me, huh runt?" he chuckled as he advanced on her.  Logan prepared to assault him again, but Cyclops hit Sabretooth with an optic beam, knocking him flat.  

"Boss!" the blonde screamed, whipping out an oversized gun.  Jean grabbed it with her telekinesis while Remy pinned the woman's arms behind her back.  "Boss!" she shrieked again.  Sabretooth had already shaken off the blast and now he turned on Remy, fangs beared.

"Let her go, Gumbo."  Remy charged a card and held it to Birdy's throat.

"I ain't doin' not'in' like dat, Creed."  Creed growled, and then suddenly spun, a massive hand reaching out and snagging Jean by her neck.  

"Then I'll gut yer frail while you singe mine.  Fair?"  

"Jean!" Scott shouted.  "Don't hurt her," he said to Sabretooth.

"Well, frankly I'd like that, Scottie, but you give me back what's mine and I'll let yer woman go."  Scott turned to Remy.

"Let her go!"

"No way, _homme_," said Remy tightly, his eyes still on Victor.  

"DO IT!" Scott bellowed, his visor flaring.  Remy's eyes also flashed red, but then he dropped the card to the damp tunnel floor, where it sizzled out.  The blonde backed quickly away from him.

"Dickhead."  Sabretooth tossed Jean aside and grabbed her by the arm.

"Yer an idiot, Birdy!  Come on!"  The two of them moved quickly into the shadows before any of the X-Men could react.

"Logan, why didn't you mention your past with Sabretooth?" Jean asked once they were on the _Blackbird_.

Remy sunk lower in his seat, hoping he wasn't asked the same question. Logan narrowed her eyes. "I don't remember my past, red."

"You seemed to know him back there in the Morlock tunnels."

"Well it all came flooding back!"

"What did, exactly?"

Scott looked over at his wife from the pilot's seat. "Jean, Logan looks a little upset right now. Why don't you let her breathe a little? We can discus all this later."

Jean gave Scott a less than pleasant look, but stopped the line of questions.

When the _Blackbird_ landed at the mansion, Logan remained in her seat, letting the other X-Men file out without her. Remy stopped, but she looked away quickly, and he got the message.

A few minutes later, Logan heard Scott's voice.

"Uh, sorry, I didn't know you were still on the _Blackbird_."

Logan looked up. "Yeah, felt like being alone for a while."

"I was going to run a few checks on the plane, make sure it's last flight didn't cause any damage, but it can wait."

"No, I'll just go. I have my own room to mope around in." Logan got up, and started to walk off the plane.

Scott put a hand on her shoulder. "I know you like to be somewhat of a loner, but the X-Men are your family now. We're here if you need us."

"Thanks, Scott."

Scott patted her shoulder, almost nervously. He was stiff and uncertain, like a teenaged boy. Logan founded it surprisingly endearing.

She wasn't sure why she did what she did next, although later she'd explain it by saying that Creed's reemergence in her life had clouded her judgment. She raised herself up on her toes, gently kissing Scott on the lips.

Scott looked at her, his expression conveying his shock. "Logan, what was that for?"

Logan backed up. "Scott, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

Scott silenced her, kissing her with a passion that surprised Logan, seeing as where it was coming from. He picked her up off the ground, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him desperately.

After a moment, Scott put her back down. He struggled to catch his breath. "Logan, I can't. I love Jean."

Logan gave him a sad smile. She was glad Scott was the man she thought he was, even if the rejection hurt. He wasn't like Mac—he was someone she could still respect. "Jean's a lucky woman."

Scott tucked a stray piece of hair behind Logan's ear. "I'm still here if you need anyone to talk to."

"I know. Thank you."

Scott kissed her chastely on the forehead, then left the _Blackbird_.

Logan leaned against the wall of the plane, grateful she hadn't made the same mistake she had on Alpha Flight.

"Hey, boss, that girl back in New York, that was that girl from that picture, wasn't she."

Victor glared down at his blonde companion. "Yeah, she was."

"She seemed like she didn't like you too much, boss."

Victor didn't say anything.

"Did you do something to make her mad, boss?"

Victor tried to tune her out. Otherwise, he was afraid he might hurt her, and he didn't want to lose the Glow.

"Were you in love with her?"

Victor had enough then. He pushed Birdy out of the way and stormed into his office, locking the door behind him.

"BIRDY!" 

Birdy rolled over in her bed. She wasn't in the mood for this now. She was too tired. 

"BIRDY!"

She groaned. Didn't the man ever sleep?

"BIRDY, NOW! BEFORE I GUT YA!"

Birdy sighed and pushed herself off the bed, shuffling into Victor's room. She opened his door. "Yes, boss?"

"Give me the Glow, Birdy. I need it now."

Birdy caught the look in Victor's eyes, and decided this wouldn't be the best time to voice her resentment—that he was all caught up in his old flame, and didn't even care that some psycho had threatened to kill her. Instead, she just did what he asked. She did what assured her that he'd never let her go like his other women.

She gave him the Glow.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter 15.**

**_Come 'ere baby_**

****

**_You know you drive me up the wall_**

**_The way you make good for all the nasty tricks you pull_**

**_Seems like we're makin' up more than we're makin' love_**

**_And it always seems you've got something on your mind_**

**_Other than me_**

**_Girl, you gotta change your crazy ways, you hear me_**

****

**_Say you're leavin' on the seven thirty train_**

**_And that you're heading out to Hollywood_**

**_Girl, you've been givin' me that line so many times_**

**_It kinda gets that feelin' bad looks good_**

****

**_That kinda lovin' turns a man to a slave_**

**_That kinda lovin' sends a man right to his grave_**

****

**_I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy_**

**_You turn it on - then you're gone_**

**_Yeah you drive me crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby_**

**_What can I do, honey_**

**_I feel like the color blue_**

****

**_You're packin' up your stuff_**

**_And and talkin' like it's tough_**

**_And tryin' to tell me_**

**_That it's time to go_**

**_But I know you ain't wearin' nothin' underneath that_**

**_Overcoat and that it's all a show_**

****

**_That kinda lovin' makes me wanna pull down the shade,_**

**_That kinda lovin' yeah, now I'm never gonna be the same_**

****

**_I'm losing my mind_**

**_Girl, 'cause I'm goin' crazy_**

****

**_I need your love, honey, yeah_**

**_I need your love_**

"Hey, Gumbo, can I talk to ya?"

Remy's eyes grew wide. "Non! You just stay 'way from me, Creed."

"I don't wanna fight, Remy, okay? I need to ask you something."

Remy sighed, but made sure he was as far from Sabretooth as possible. "Make it quick."

"What does Logan think of me?"

Remy looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "She t'inks de same t'ing about you dat de rest of de world does, _homme_. She hates your guts."

"You know why?"

"Gee, let me t'ink. You make de _femme's _life hell from de day she met you, Victor. And you kill dat boy of hers."

"She still mad about that?"

"_Non. Dat's one of dose t'ings you get over. And I heard you had some brains in dat big blond head of yours."_

Victor glared. "Thanks, Cajun."

"Yeah, whatever."

"So, are you holding up okay with Creed being here, Logan?"  Logan didn't look at Scott.

"I guess."

"I haven't heard you having any homicidal rage sessions in the Danger Room lately, so you must be okay."  Scott saw Logan's cheeks go bright pink.  "Logan?"

"What?!"  Scott raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing.  How's the ordnance inventory coming?"  Logan let out a breath when Scott dropped the subject.

"Fine.  How's your end?"

Scott looked at his clipboard.  "Boring.  Jean is obsessive-compulsive about keeping Cerebro's archives in order."

"Isn't that Kitty's job?"

"Logan, it's Kitty."

"Good point.  Guess that's what happens when you're the Fearless Leader, huh Cyke?"  She put the last of the weapons the X-Men had confiscated from various foes over the years back into their lockers.  "Done."  

"Wish I was," Scott sighed.  Logan sat in a chair next to him.  

"I'll keep you company."

"You don't have to," Scott said.  "I'm sure you have something you'd rather be doing than hanging out with a dork like me."  

"Aw, is our self-esteem a little low today, Scooter?"  Scott glared at her.

"I am not Scooter."  Logan didn't make a retort as he had expected.  She had been quiet the entire time they had been together.  Almost reserved.  For Logan, that was kind of creepy.  "Logan, are you okay?"  Her shoulders hunched a little.

"Yeah, fine."  

"I don't believe you," said Scott simply.  

"Maybe…maybe I did something I shouldn't have," she said after a long pause.  Scott put his clipboard down and took her shoulders gently.

"What is it?  You can tell me."  

"Trust me, Scott, you don't wanna hear this."  He nodded.

"Yes, I do.  I'm your teammate Logan, and your friend.  Nothing you did can change that."

"I already had this conversation with Remy, okay Scott?"  He looked down and dropped his hands.

"Yeah, sorry.  I guess I'm not as easy to talk to as he is."  Logan half-smiled.  

"You're a good guy, Scott."  

"Sometimes I think I'm too good."  Logan stood.

"Well, there's always room for improvement."  

"Not when you're married to Jean Grey," Scott muttered.  Logan left, deciding she'd pretend she hadn't heard that.  

In her room, she sank onto her bed, curling on her side.  She reached for Victor's sweatshirt almost automatically, even though his scent was almost gone.  What she had done was eating her up inside—she'd betrayed the X-Men on the most basic level.  She knew she couldn't deal with it anymore, that she had to get away and clear her head.  

Logan stood and pulled her duffle bag out of her closet, tossing clothes in at random.  She had done something unforgivable, but time alone would put enough mental distance between her and Creed that she'd be able to carry on as an X-Woman.  It was impossible to live under the same roof with him.  He was so close, such a large presence all the time.  

She wanted him so much.  Logan threw the bag full of clothes across the room.  She didn't care, at the core, about what she'd done.  Victor filled a basic need within her, something she'd been looking for since she'd woken up in the Hudson's cabin all that time ago.  He was right.

They were the same.

The knock on her door was unmistakable. No one else would knock so heavy, so sure.  She stared at the door, her eyes wide like a deer.

"I know yer in there, runt."

Logan took a deep breath. She could handle Creed. She could get him out of her way so she could go somewhere else. Somewhere where she could forget the one thing she didn't really want to.

"Open the damn door or I'll bust it open!"

Logan flung the door open, glaring at Victor. "What the _fuck_ do you want, Creed?"

Victor smirked. "You, darlin'."

"You are such a fucking bastard."

"Damn skippy."

Logan just looked at him, suddenly at a loss for words. "Go away."

"No. I have something I have to say."

"Then say it," Logan said, crossing her arms in front of her. Victor was silent. "Well?"

"Oh, sorry. When you do that it pushes up your boobs."

Logan started to slam the door, but Victor stepped in, holding it open. "Wait! Just hear me out, okay? Yer so damn touchy."

Logan continued to glare. "Spit it out, Creed."

"I'm sorry."

Logan blinked. "For what?"

"The…the thing with Silver Fox."

Logan stumbled back. "I…" Her voice got almost silent. "Why'd you do it, Victor?"

"Because…because I loved you."

Logan pushed the initial shock away, replacing it with anger. "Oh yeah, 'cause nothing says I love you like hacking up the competition."

Victor reached out a hand. "I didn't mean it, Logan. I didn't want to hurt you—I never have wanted to hurt you. I don't know, it's just…" He growled, swiping at the wall. "Dammit, woman, what is it you do to me!"

"Victor…"

He looked at her, his eyes wild like a frightened animal. "What can I do, Logan? What can I do about this? I _need you. I never need anything, but I need you."_

Logan felt herself being ripped in two. Part of her said it was wrong to betray the X-Men, while the other half said it was wrong to betray Victor. Even with everything dark in their past, he had been the one constant, the one thing she could never forget. "I need you, too."

Victor came into the room, shutting the door behind him. He walked slowly to her, touching her tentatively at first, barely running his fingers through her hair. Logan smiled shyly at him, suddenly feeling as if she were a novice at this.

Maybe she was. With Victor, it was something different…

He kissed her, but it wasn't like what he'd shown her in the Danger Room. It was gentle, as if he were tasting her. He cupped the back of her head, kissing her slowly and thoroughly. Logan felt her knees buckle.

"Havin' trouble standin', darlin'?"

Logan blushed. "Uh…yeah…"

Victor smiled, picking her up and holding her against his chest. Logan buried her head against him, taking in his scent.

Victor set her so softly on the bed, as if she was something delicate, not a woman with a healing factor and adamantium bones. He sat beside her, looking down at her. "Damn, yer hot."

Logan laughed. "You're pretty hot yourself, you know."

He winked at her. "Damn skippy."

"I can't believe you just said that two times in a ten minute time span."

Victor smirked. "I'm full of surprises, darlin'."

Logan gave him a look that made Victor's blood rush. "Care to show me some of those surprises, tiger?"

"Oh yeah."

Victor descended on her, kissing down her neck. Logan clutched his hair. "And on a bed and everything this time."

"Don't get used to it, frail."

She laughed, feeling suddenly free. Nothing mattered, not the X-Men, not her shrouded past—just Victor, and what he made her feel.

Victor lay naked in Logan's bed, grinning up at her ceiling. "Wow, yer amazing," he said in a sleepy drawl. "That thing you did with yer tongue…"

Logan giggled, running her toes up his leg. "You're not too bad yourself there."

Victor looked at her with hooded eyes. "I'm the best, babe."

"Well you're certainly the best I've ever had."

"That cinches it then, since I have quite a few to compete with."

Logan punched his arm hard. "Asshole."

Victor pouted. "What, you don't like me anymore?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're horrible."

"Wanna punish me?" He wagged his eyebrows up and down.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Logan and Victor both jumped off the bed, their eyes wide. "The closet," Logan mouthed.

Victor nodded, running to hide. Logan started to go to the door, but then realized she was still naked. She looked behind her and saw Victor's hand extend from the closet, her kimono draped over a claw.

She took it and kissed his hand. She wrapped the kimono around her, kicked Victor's clothes under the bed, and flung open the door. "What?"

"Geez, growly much, Logan?"

Logan gave Bobby a dirty look. "Whaddaya want, ice boy?"

"Uh, nobody can find Creed."

_"Shit," Logan thought. "Does the professor think he's left the mansion?" she asked, smoothing her hair back in place._

"No. He can still sense his presence somewhere on the grounds, he just can't pin-point where. Victor's mind is hard for him to center on, or something like that."

"Well he probably just went for a walk. Go away."

Bobby frowned. "Did I interrupt something?"

"I was meditating, now get out!" She slammed the door.

Bobby thought she seemed a little tense for meditation, but he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

Creed walked out of the closet, looking down at his toes. "I guess I should make an appearance before someone smarter than Drake comes lookin' fer me."

"Yeah."

He walked to her, cupping her cheek in his hand. "So where does this leave us, Logan?"

"Let's take it slow, all right?"

"Yeah."

"See ya around, Vic."

Victor got his clothes from under her bed and started dressing. He kissed her one more time, softly on the lips. "Don't stay mad at me, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

He opened the door and looked down the hall, making sure the coast was clear before sneaking away.

Victor lay awake in his bed, finding it impossible to sleep. He hated his stupid curfew. Xavier didn't even leave him with a television. Cruel and unusual punishment.

The door opened, and Victor sat up. Who the hell was bothering him at this hour? He sniffed and smiled. "Hey, darlin'."

Logan went silently to his bed and crawled in beside him.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, laying down and pulling her up against his bare chest.

"No," she said softly.

Victor kissed the top of her head. "Me either."

"Victor, what is this?" she asked.

"I don't know." He paused. "I like it though. And not just because of the sex."

"Me, too. That scares me a little."

"It scares me, too, Logan."

Logan looked up at him. "I didn't think you got scared, Victor. I thought you were something beyond fear."

"I'm just a man, Logan."

Logan bristled in his arm for a moment, and then relaxed, melting into his warm embrace. "I just want to sleep, Victor."

He kissed her. "Good night."

"Good night."

It had been an odd night for Kitty and Bobby.  They, along with Logan and Creed, were the only ones in the mansion, and to Kitty's amazement everyone was sitting in the rec room watching television with nary a word.  She looked at Bobby.  He looked back and raised his eyebrows.

"Is this weirding you out, Kitty?" he whispered.  Kitty nodded.

"Majorly," she whispered back.  

Logan heard Kitty and Bobby gossiping and looked over at Victor.  He was sprawled in the recliner with a beer, looking as content as a six-foot-six assassin could look.  

"Creed," she snarled.  "Get your feet off the table."  He looked over at her with an almost amused expression.

"What are you, my mommy?"  Logan was silent for a moment.

"I'll make you want your mommy if you don't get your feet off!" she blurted.  He smiled slowly, revealing his teeth.

"Ooo, ya gonna spank me, runt?"  Kitty and Bobby were watching them like a tennis match.  Logan stood.

"I don't have to put up with this—I'm going to my room!" she huffed.

"Don't let the door hit yer cute ass!" Creed called after her.  

"You make such a cute couple," said Kitty sarcastically.  Creed grinned at her.  

"Yeah, I know.  I'm too cute fer words."  Kitty rolled her eyes and looked back at the TV.  

Creed got up and followed Logan to her room.

"Look. Chuck, no disrespect to yer beautiful home an' all, but I've had about my fill of this place."

Xavier scrutinized Victor. "Well, you have been cured of your blood lust."

"Yep. No more of that blood lust crap. I'm a better man."

"Still, I worry that if I release you back into the world, you may kill again."

Victor shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want to kill anymore, Professor. I look back on that part of my life, and I feel so dark and guilty. I want to make a better life for myself."

Xavier frowned, not sure if he could take Victor's words as the truth. Still, he had shown significant improvement since he'd recovered from Logan's home lobotomy. Xavier had always believed that everyone deserved a second chance—even killers like Victor Creed. He folded his hands in his lap.

"I will allow you to return to wherever it is you call home, but I will be keeping an eye on you. Should you continue to show a propensity towards violence, I will send my people after you."

Victor forced himself not to laugh at that threat. "You won't have to do that, professor. I'll be a model citizen—you'll see."

Xavier frowned. "We'll see, Creed."

"You're just letting him go!"

"I'm sorry, Scott, but there's nothing I can really do. Sabretooth is cured; there's no reason that he shouldn't be released back into society."

"What, other than the fact that he's a sociopathic killer?"

"Cyclops, it's not your place to question my decision like this."

Scott stood up straight. "Yes, professor."

Xavier wheeled from the room.

"Uh, babe, can I talk to ya for a moment?"

"Watchin' hockey, Victor."

"I know how much you like ta watch grown men beat up on each other with sticks, but this is important."

Logan put the television on mute and looked up at Creed. "What is it?"

"Xavier said I can go. I booked a flight back to Seattle for tomorrow morning."

Logan felt suddenly winded. "Just like that?"

"That's where I live, darlin'."

"Don't you darlin' me!" Logan yelled, jumping to her feet "You tricked me into thinking you cared, and now you're just running out on me! I thought you were different, Victor, but you're just like all the rest!"

Victor held out his hands in defense. "Whoa, whoa, I never said anything about leavin' you, frail. I just need to get back home. I have a life out there."

Logan looked sad. "I thought I was part of your life now, Victor?"

"Logan, you are. You always have been. But you didn't actually expect me to stay on the team, did ya?" Victor saw Logan's reaction, and realized she did. "Logan, the X-Men aren't the beat all and end all."

"They're my life."

"Then I guess we're in two different places now."

Logan forced herself not to cry. She wouldn't. Not over him. "Fine, just go. See if I care."

Victor sighed. "I don't want this to be it for us, Logan. I do like you, and I like being with you. I just can't be here, and you apparently can't always be there. But you leave the team enough. Come up and visit me sometimes."

"I want more than that, Victor."

"Logan, sweetheart, I am not X-Men material. I can't join this little geek-squad and fight by yer side, okay? This ain't Team X. Just tell me this ain't it, okay?"

"If you leave, Victor Creed, it is. You walk out that door, and I never want to see you again."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have to go. I'll go crazy here."

"You already are crazy, you messed up fuck."

Victor sighed. "There ya go again, striking out at me when you don't want to admit yer hurtin'. You've been doin' it fer thirty fuckin' years, Logan. It's gettin' a little old."

"Get out, Victor," Logan growled. "If you're gonna leave me, just go ahead and do it."

"If that's the way you feel…"

"It is."

"Yeah. See ya around, runt."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter 16.******

**_I'm down a one way street_**

**_With a one night stand_**

**_With a one track mind_**

**_Out in no man's land_**

**_(the punishment sometimes don't seem to fit the crime)_**

****

**_Yeah there's a hole in my soul_**

**_But one thing I've learned_**

**_For every love letter written_**

**_There's another one burned_**

**_(so tell me how it's gonna be this time)_**

****

**_Is it over_**

**_Is it over_**

**_Is it over_**

**_'cause I'm blowin' out the flame_**

****

**_Take a walk outside your mind_**

**_Tell me how it feels to be_**

**_The one who turns the knife inside of me_**

**_Take a look and you will find there's nothing there girl_**

**_Yeah I swear, I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause_**

**_There's a hole in my soul that's been killing me forever_**

**_It's a place where a garden never grows_**

**_There's a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better_**

**_'cause your love's like a thorn without a rose_**

****

**_I'm as dry as a seven year drought_**

**_I got dust for tears_**

**_Yeah I'm all tapped out_**

**_(sometimes I feel broken and can't get fixed)_**

****

**_I know there's been all kinds of shoes underneath your bed_**

**_Now I sleep with my boots on but you're still in my head_**

**_(and something tells me this time I'm down to my last licks)_**

**_'cause if it's over_**

**_Then it's over_**

**_And it's driving me insane_**

****

**_Is it over_**

**_Yeah it's over_**

**_And I'm blowin' out the flame_**

****

**_Take a walk outside your mind_**

**_Tell me how it feels to be_**

**_The one who turns the knife inside of me_**

**_Take a look and you will find_**

**_There's nothing there girl, yeah, I swear_**

**_I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause there's a hole in my soul_**

**_That's been killing me forever_**

**_It's a place where a garden never grows there's a hole in my soul,_**

**_Yeah I should have known better_**

**_'cause your love's like a thorn  
Without a rose_**

Kitty sighed as she sat at Cerebro's console, scrolling slowly through a backlog of security tapes that had accumulated over the last month.  She hated this job with a passion, but Cyclops had threatened to cut off her computer access if she didn't clean out the files.  She looked to her right—on the console next to her was a six-pack of Coke and a bag of cheese puffs.  Geek food was essential to a boring night like the one ahead.  

Bobby was also in the room, killing zombies on another console while he kept her company.  "Oh fuck!" he exclaimed as the game loaded the next level.  "Skeletons!  I hate skeletons!"  

"Kill the skeleton lord and they'll go away," Kitty told him.  She opened the Danger Room log files and began to fast forward through the tapes.  She stopped when she saw Victor enter the Danger Room and turn on her "Lots O' Ninjas" scenario.  She wondered how he would handle it.  And he was shirtless.  Kitty didn't like Victor, but she was breathing.  

Victor tore through the session and then stopped, speaking to someone in the control room, whom Kitty assumed was Logan.  Sure enough, after a minute Logan came storming on camera, pointing her finger at Creed and saying something angrily.  The two began to spar, Creed with his semi-permanent taunting smile on his face.  Kitty watched, interested to see how the fight would turn out.

She was totally unprepared for the actual outcome.  She blinked, making sure her eyes weren't playing tricks and the fact she was seeing Wolverine and Sabretooth tear each other's clothes off wasn't just a caffeine-induced hallucination.  

"Bobby," she breathed.  "Get over here!"  He leaned over her shoulder.  Kitty heard him take in a sharp breath.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed.  He cocked his head.  "Could a person actually live through that?"

"They both have healing factors, Bobby."

"Damn."  

"Kitty, how are things coming with Cere…" Jean stopped mid-sentence. "Oh my dear Lord."

Bobby and Kitty both turned around. "We didn't mean to find it, honest!" Bobby exclaimed.

Jean couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen. "That isn't natural…" she said.

"Yeah…Damn Creed. And I thought I hated him before," Bobby muttered.

Jean turned on her heel and started out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Kitty asked.

"To inform the professor."

"You can't do that!" Kitty exclaimed.

"This is Logan's business, not yours," Bobby said.

"Logan has compromised this team by…sleeping with the enemy. The professor needs to know."

"She was in that bad Julia Roberts movie?" Bobby asked.

Jean gave him the Look. "The professor needs to know. Logan could become a liability to the team."

"But Logan would never do anything to betray us!" Kitty said.

"You saw the tape, Katherine," Jean said sternly. "She already has."

Kitty sighed, glancing back at the scene playing on the monitor.

"Logan, could you step into my office?"  Logan looked up from her book.  

"Sure, Charles."  He looked at her with a frown.

"Professor, Logan."  Logan followed him down the hall to his study, surprised to see Scott and Jean already in the room.  She sighed.

"What'd I do now?"  

"As if you didn't know," said Jean.  Xavier held up a hand.

"Jean, please let me handle this."  He regarded Logan with cold eyes.  "Wolverine, it has come to my attention that you have been…ah…intimate with Sabretooth during his tenure at the mansion."

Logan felt her heart drop to the floor.  How had he found out?  

"Obviously," said Xavier.  "This is the most serious breach of protocol imaginable, something that cannot be countenanced."  Jean frowned at her prissily.

"We're very disappointed in you, Logan.  You had every chance to be a part of the X-Men, but you've become a liability, just as I always thought."  Logan turned on Jean with a growl.

"You better shut the fuck up, red, while you still got a mouth to do it with."  Jean smiled, as if she'd been proven right in the face of great adversity.  

"I'm afraid," Xavier interjected, "that this behavior is something that I cannot tolerate in a member of the X-Men."  He wheeled in front of Logan.  "If you do not cease this relationship with Victor immediately, you will be asked to leave."  Logan looked past him to Scott.

"You know this isn't right, Scott…" she started.  He frowned at her.

"I'm sorry, Logan, but the professor's right.  Your association with Creed has compromised the X-Men family."  Logan looked at him as if he'd slapped her in the face.

"Oh, that's right, that's what we are," she snarled.  "One big happy fuckin' family.  Wouldn't want to do anything to tarnish that perfect image, would we?"  

"Logan, there is no call for this," said Xavier.  "Simply stop seeing Sabretooth and we will forget that this…indiscretion ever happened."  Logan's mouth set.  She didn't speak.  Xavier raised an eyebrow.  "Logan?"

"Fuck you, Xavier," Logan snapped.  "You told me when I joined the X-Men that I could live my life, my way.  I guess you just meant as long as "my way" didn't keep me from being a good little flunky, right?"  

"Wolverine, stop it!" Scott ordered.  Logan turned to him.

"And you, Summers—you're no better than him.  You don't even have the guts to speak up for your 'friend', your '_teammate_'.  You're nothing but a spineless little worm."

"Logan, be quiet and do as I tell you!" Xavier thundered.  Logan advanced on him, with a steely, predatory gaze.  She popped her claws directly in front of his face.  Both Jean and Scott started for her, but Logan simply retracted the outer two, leaving her middle claw gleaming in the soft light of the study.

"That's what I think of this family, Chuck," she said with a smile.  

"Chère?" 

Logan stopped her packing. "Yeah, Rem?"

"Why'd ya do it, Logan?"

Logan turned around, the betrayal in Remy's eyes cutting her to the quick. "I'm sorry, Remy…I didn't think about how this would affect you."

"Apparently not," Remy grumbled. "Why you not jus' tell de professor you won't see Creed no more, huh Logan? Remy don' want you t'leave."

"It's not just Victor, Rem. I can't stay here if Chuck's gonna try to control my life. I've lived that way before, and I can't anymore. My feelings for Victor notwithstanding, I need to leave. There's no place for me here."

"What are your feelings for Creed?"

Logan blinked. "I'm not…I'm not sure."

"Is it jus' sex?"

Logan knew she needed to be honest with Remy and herself. "No."

"Dis hurt me, Logan—hurt me deep. But you still my _amie_. You need Remy, you know where t'find him."

"Thanks, Remy. That means a lot."

"An' if Creed hurts you, I'll beat de ever livin' shit outta him."

Logan smirked. "I'll keep that in mind."

Remy approached her, wrapping her in a bear hug. "I'm gonna miss you, chère."

"Yeah," Logan said softly. "I'm gonna miss you, too."


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter 17.******

**_I think I've already lost you_**

**_I think you're already gone_**

**_I think I'm finally scared now_**

**_You think I'm weak, but I think you're wrong_**

**_I think you're already leaving_**

**_Feels like your hand is on the door_**

**_I thought this place was an empire_**

**_But now I'm relaxed,  I can't be sure_**

****

**_I think you're so mean, I think we should try_**

**_I think I could need, this in my life_**

**_I think I'm just scared, I think too much_**

**_I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing_**

****

**_If you're gone, maybe it's time to go home_**

**_There's an awful lot of breathing room_**

**_But I can hardly move_**

**_If you're gone, baby you need to come home_**

**_'Cause there's a little bit of something me_**

**_In everything in you_**

****

**_I bet you're hard to get over_**

**_I bet the room just won't shine_**

**_I bet my hands I can stay here_**

**_I bet you need, more than you mind_**

****

**_I think you're so mean, I think we should try_**

**_I think I could need, this in my life_**

**_I think I'm just scared, that I know too much_**

**_I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling_**

****

**_If you're gone, maybe it's time to go home_**

**_There's an awful lot of breathing room_**

**_But I can hardly move_**

**_If you're gone, baby you need to come home_**

**_'Cause there's a little bit of something me_**

**_In everything in you_**

****

**_I think you're so mean, I think we should try_**

**_I think I could need, this in my life_**

**_I think I'm just scared, do I talk too much_**

**_I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing_**

****

**_If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home_**

**_There's an awful lot of breathing room_**

**_But I can hardly move_**

**_If you're gone - baby you need to come home_**

**_'Cause there's a little bit of something me_**

**_In everything in you_**

Logan stood nervously in front of Victor's massive security gate. She could still leave. 

What if Creed was still upset about how she'd reacted to the news that he was leaving? What if he'd gotten over whatever infatuation he'd had for her in Westchester, and was now back to hating her. What if there was another woman. What if…

"Can I help you, miss?"

Logan looked down at a very small, rather creepy man in a brown suit. "Uh, I'm looking for Victor Creed. Is this his house?"

"Maybe. Who's asking?"

"Logan."

"Don't know you."

"Creed does."

"Creed knows a lot of women, miss."

Logan looked down at the little man. "Oh does he now?" She unsheathed her claws, pointing them in the man's face. "Well I think he'll know me for sure."

The man grew pale. "Uh, yes. Right this way Miss…Logan, was it?"

"Yeah."

Logan was lead into the huge mansion. She was surprised to find that Victor actually had a sense for decorating. Or at least knew someone who did. 

"Mr. Creed! Visitor!"

Logan heard Victor's voice boom down from the top of the stairs. "Who is it, Larry?"

"She says her name's Logan! She was very insistent that I let her in!"

Victor bounded down the stairs, all but running to Logan. He stopped a few feet in front of her, deciding at the last moment to cut down on the enthusiasm.

"I thought you weren't visiting me. Loyalty to the X-Geeks and all."

"Well, about that…"

Victor began to laugh. "They kicked you out, didn't they?"

"It's not funny, Victor! The X-Men were my life!"

"Then you should be glad they kicked you out, 'cause that's damn pathetic, babe."

She blinked, but didn't respond to that. "I'm sorry to just show up on your doorstep like this, but I didn't know where else to go. Can I stay here?" Victor was silent, and Logan wondered if maybe she really had miscalculated.

Suddenly, Victor picked her up, slinging her over his shoulder. "Larry, hold my phone calls."

"Yes, sir," Larry said, smirking as he listened to Logan scream her protests to Victor's "caveman behavior" all the way up to his room.

"Woman, get yer hot little ass in here!"

Logan sighed, not turning away from the television. An hour ago, they'd been at each other's throats, screaming about the latest problem of the day. Now he was calling her as if she were his dog.

"C'mon, darlin'! I need ya in here!"

Logan upped the volume on the television. She'd known that living with Victor Creed was going to be difficult but this was ridiculous. Everything was a battle between them. Deciding what movie to watch the night before had all but set off World War III. She had figured that seeing Victor as something other than a constant adversary would be an adjustment, but it wasn't going as smoothly as she'd hoped. 

He just made everything so damn difficult.

Victor stalked into the room, leaning against the doorframe in nothing but a pair of faded jeans. Logan rolled her eyes and kept watching the show. If he thought that was going to work on her this time, he had another thing coming.

"You still mad about this mornin'?"

Logan turned the volume up even more.

"Aw, frail, it wasn't that big of a deal. What do you want from me, an apology?"

Logan turned around, narrowing her dark blue eyes. "Might be nice, Creed."

"I don't apologize to no one, girlie."

"Then I hope you enjoy your cold bed."

Victor smirked. "You can't resist me, Logan. Now that you know what I can do, you could never tell me no again."

"You are so damn full of yourself."

Victor went over to the couch and grabbed her to her feet, pulling her off the ground and to his mouth so he could kiss her. He waited until she stopped struggling, then threw her back on the couch.

Logan's eyes were dark, almost black, and her breathing was heavy and unsteady. Victor smirked. Resist him, his ass. He covered her body with his, pressing her into the couch with his massive weight. Logan just grabbed him, holding him to her.

Victor bit up her neck to her ear. "I knew ya still wanted me. Ya always do."

"I always have," Logan moaned. "Always, Victor… I love you."

Victor paused. He'd had his theories, but he hadn't expected her to say it. What did he do now? Women didn't love him, they just wanted him. He looked at her, his breath catching. She was beautiful, and she loved him. Maybe his life wasn't as crappy as it seemed.

Logan sat on the end of the couch, her knees at her chin. She couldn't believe she'd told Creed she loved him. She hadn't meant to, hadn't even realized it until then. She'd just said it. She wished she could take it back, but she couldn't. It was the truth, even if she didn't want it to be.

Victor got up, slipping his pants back on. "That was a good one, frail."

Logan stared at her toes. "Yeah. Great."

Victor took her face in his hand. "You didn't like it?" he asked, startled. Women always liked it with him. 

"It was wonderful, Victor. There's nothing like being ravished by the king of virility."

Victor caught her sarcasm. "Gee, thanks, babe."

"What is this, Victor?" Logan asked.

Victor's eyes grew wide. It was that "talk" women wanted to have when they decided that the relationship called for more than sex. Victor hated that talk. It usually precluded his exit. "It's great sex," he said.

Logan snorted, getting off the couch. She dressed mechanically, not looking at him. Victor walked over, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, we got a lot between us, Logan. That makes this…" he gritted his teeth "mean somethin'."

"What does it mean, Victor?"

"Means I let ya sleep in my bed insteada kickin' ya to the guest room."

"Gee, I feel so honored," Logan snapped. "Maybe I should move into the guest room, leave your bed open for someone else."

Victor grabbed her by the shoulders. "Yer my woman, dammit."

Logan pushed him off. "I'm not your goddam property." She walked haughtily out of the room.

Victor sighed. "But I'm yer man, too," he said, softly.

Logan was in Victor's massive kitchen making a drink when she smelled him come in.  He had kept his distance since that tense afternoon, which wasn't hard in his enormous house.  Logan sighed.

"What do you want, Victor?"  He frowned at her.  

"I thought maybe you were over whatever was buggin' ya." 

"Well, I'm not," said Logan shortly, putting the cap back on his Jack Daniels bottle.  

"Jesus, Logan, you are such a woman sometimes."  Logan looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"I thought you enjoyed that fact."  Victor growled.

"Stop turnin' everything I say against me, woman."  

"You better not start that shit again, Creed."  Victor moved in, towering over her, an expression of real anger in his eyes.  

"Yer _mine," he said dangerously.  "And that makes you my woman!"  Logan stood on tiptoe, pushing her heart-shaped face into his.  _

"Fuck you, Victor!" she responded.

"I think I've exhausted my supply of witty comebacks to that one, frail," he smirked.  

"Not surprising, considering you couldn't even say 'I love you' back to me," said Logan quietly.  She picked up her drink and started to leave.  

Victor grabbed her arm. "Don't you even think about leavin', frail. I'm so damn sick of you stormin' off every time somethin' gets heated between the two of us. Stop runnin' from yer damn feelings."

"I'm running from my feelings? What about you, Victor? You can't even tell me how you fucking feel about me!"

"Dammit, Logan, why does it matter? We're together. Why do I have to start gettin' all poetic with the hearts and flowers bullshit?"

"Maybe it isn't bullshit to me, Victor. Maybe it's important."

"Then get over it! I ain't Mr. Romantic."

"No, you're not," Logan said, her eyes steely. "Guess your father beat the love out of you a long time ago."

Victor snarled, striking out hard. He backhanded her cheek, knocking her backwards and her drink from her hand. It shattered as it hit the hard tile, and Logan reeled, touching her bruised face in shock. "You…you hit me…"

"You need to learn when you should shut yer mouth, frail."

Logan's eyes lit angrily, and she punched him, her fist making contact with his nose with an audible klunk. Victor stumbled, his hand going to cover his smashed, bloodied nose.

Logan fled the room.

"Mr. Creed?"  Larry poked his head into the kitchen, seeing Victor sitting at the table with his head in his hands.  A small pool of blood had dripped onto the table beneath him.  

"Go 'way, Larry."  Larry came closer.

"Are you okay, sir?"  Victor growled.

"What the fuck do you want, Larry?"

"What happened to your nose, sir?"  Victor heaved a sigh and took his hand away.  Larry took a step back at the bloody, pulverized mess in the middle of Victor's face.  It was healing, but slowly, and it looked indescribably painful to Larry's eyes.

"The woman hit me," he muttered.  

"I guessed you two had a fight, sir…"

"I smacked her around too," Victor admitted.  "Damn adamantium."  He looked up at Larry.  "What do you mean you guessed?"

"She left, sir."  Victor jumped up, knocking his chair over.

"When?!" 

"About twenty minutes ago, sir.  She said something along the lines of "I'm never coming back to this lunatic asylum again"."  Victor grabbed Larry by his lapels.

"Where did she go?!"  Larry looked slightly uncomfortable.

"She didn't say, Mr. Creed."  

"Shit…" Victor muttered.  "This can't be happening…"

"Mr. Creed?"

"Huh?"

"Could you let go of me, please?"  Victor released him.  Larry had seen his boss go through the entire spectrum of mood swings, but this was a new state for him.  He looked pathetic, helpless.  Defeated.  

"Thirty years," Victor muttered.  "It took me thirty years to get her and I've already lost her."

"Sir?"

"Leave me alone, Larry."  Larry knew enough to leave Victor alone when he said to.  The phone rang before he could get out.  Victor grabbed the receiver off the handle and listened, not breathing.

"Victor?"

"Dammit, Logan, where are you?" he said, letting his body slump against the kitchen walls.  

"The airport."  

"Why?"

"I'm leaving, Victor.  I can't live with you.  I'm going home to Canada."

"I need you here, dammit!"

"No, Victor.  We're over.  You proved that tonight.  I made a mistake."  

"Logan…" it was almost a whimper.  

"Goodbye, Victor."  The dial tone sounded in his ear.  

Logan hung up the pay phone, tears glistening in her eyes. She brushed them away angrily. Victor Creed wasn't worth it. He hadn't been able to give her any more than any of the other men she'd loved. She'd wanted something solid, something she could hold on to and rely on.

She'd finally accepted that she'd have to give up on that dream.

She picked up her bag and walked to her gate.

Victor allowed himself a good ten minutes to sulk before he formulated a plan. He'd come too far with Logan to let her just walk out of his life. Didn't she realize she was his woman—his _mate? _

"LARRY!"

Larry slunk back in the room. "Yes, Mr. Creed?"

"What sorta flowers are you supposed to give angry women?"

"Um, sir, I don't know if flowers…"

"Answer the damn question, Larry."

"Roses, sir."

"Right, roses. Where do I get those?"

"Florist, sir."

"Take me to one of those, and then to the airport. And step on it, Larry."

Larry held in a sigh. "Yes, Mr. Creed."

"What do you mean the damn flight is delayed?"

The stewardess gave Logan her best fuck you smile. "Ma'am, there's a big snow storm in Calgary. The pilot couldn't see to fly."

"Don't you have some sort of jet with infrared sensors?"

"No, ma'am, I'm afraid all we have are the standard-issue passenger jets. Now please, sit down and I'll inform you and the rest of the passengers when conditions improve."

Logan sulked back to the waiting area. She'd had enough of Seattle. It was Victor's town, and therefore tainted with his memory. As long as she was there, she wouldn't be able to get him off her mind. She needed to go to Canada and lick her wounds. It was safe territory there.

"Sir, I don't care how narrow you make your eyes, I'm not letting you past that gate without a ticket."

"But I don't want to get on any of the damn planes—I just want to find my woman!"

"Sir, again, for security reasons, I cannot allow you in the boarding area without a ticket."

Victor growled in frustration, pulling a wad of one-hundred dollar bill from his pocket. "Then give me a goddam ticket."

"To where, sir?"

"I don't give a flyin' fuck, just anywhere!"

The woman booked him a flight to Hoboken. "Here ya go, sir."

Victor snatched the ticket from her hands. "Gee, thanks."

She smiled. "And will you be checking any baggage?"

"No!" Victor snapped, storming over to the security checkpoint.

"I didn't tell you ya could leave me, frail."

The hair on the back of Logan's neck stood on end. "Creed…"

He walked around in front of her, crouching down so he was almost on eye level with her when she was sitting. He thrust the flowers at her. "I bought you roses."

"And I'm supposed to be impressed?"

"Hey, I've never done this before!" Victor ran a shaky hand though his hair, suddenly at a complete loss for words—even a sarcastic comment. "Darlin', I'm sorry."

Logan took the roses from him, playing with the petals of one. "Victor, we just aren't working out."

"I can try harder, I swear."

"But how much improvement are you capable of?"

"Look, I can't promise you I'll become a model boyfriend by any chance, but I can give you all that I am, Logan—and I can accept what you are in return. I like ya the way you are, Logan. I can take the good with the bad. You said you loved me—if there was any truth to that, you'd do the same fer me."

Logan opened her mouth, then shut it again. What could she say to that? "Victor…"

He reached up, wiping her eye. "Yer leakin' there, frail."

Logan laughed. "Victor, I want to go home."

He smiled from ear to ear and picked her up, spinning her around as he kissed her. 


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter 18.**
    
    **_I know all about_**
    
    **_Yeah, about your reputation_**
    
    **_And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation_**
    
    **_But I can't help it if I'm helpless everytime that I'm where you are_**
    
    ****
    
    **_You walk in and my strength walks out the door_**
    
    **_Say my name and I can't fight it anymore_**
    
    **_Oh I know, I should go_**
    
    **_But I need your touch just too damn much_**
    
    ****
    
    **_Loving you_**
    
    **_Yeah, isn't really something I should do_**
    
    **_Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah_**
    
    **_I should try to be strong_**
    
    **_But baby you're the right kinda wrong_**
    
    **_Yeah baby you're the right kinda wrong_**
    
    ****
    
    **_It might be a mistake_**
    
    **_A mistake I'm making_**
    
    **_But what you're giving I am happy to be taking_**
    
    **_'Cause no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm in your arms_**
    
    ****
    
    **_They say you're something I should do without_**
    
    **_They don't know what goes on when the lights go out_**
    
    **_There's no way to explain_**
    
    **_All the pleasure is worth all the pain_**
    
    ****
    
    **_Loving you_**
    
    **_Yeah, isn't really something I should do (yeah...)_**
    
    **_Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you_**
    
    **_I should try to be strong_**
    
    **_But baby you're the right kinda wrong_**
    
    **_Yeah baby you're the right kinda wrong_**
    
    ****
    
    **_I should try to run_**
    
    **_But I just can't seem to_**
    
    **_'Cause everytime I run you're the one I've run to_**
    
    **_I can't do without_**
    
    **_What you do to me_**
    
    **_I don't care if I'm in too deep (yeah...)_**
    
    ****
    
    **_I know all about_**
    
    **_Yeah, about your reputation_**
    
    **_And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation_**
    
    **_But I can't help it if I'm helpless everytime that I'm where you are_**
    
    ****
    
    **_You walk in and my strength walks out the door_**
    
    **_Say my name and I can't fight it anymore_**
    
    **_Oh I know, I should go_**
    
    **_But I need your touch just too damn much_**
    
    ****
    
    **_Loving you_**
    
    **_Yeah, isn't really something I should do_**
    
    **_Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah_**
    
    **_I should try to be strong ( I should try to be strong)_**
    
    **_But baby you're the right kinda wrong (right kinda wrong)_**
    
    **_Baby you're the right kinda wrong (baby you're the right kinda wrong)_**
    
    **_But baby you're the right kinda wrong_**

Logan woke to the sound of Victor attempting to sneak in after a job. She smiled to herself, thinking how cute it was that he tried not to wake her up even though he knew her heightened senses made that impossible.

She turned on the bedside lamp, making Victor stop in mid-creep. "Hey there, sexy."

Victor chuckled. "Hey there, yourself."

Logan held her arms up to him. "Come here. I missed you."

Victor got in the bed beside her, crushing her to his chest. "Missed you, too."

Logan sniffed. "You smell like another woman."

"Sorry, darlin'. The guy I whacked had a girlfriend runnin' around."

"Nothin' happened with her, right?"

Victor kissed her forehead, amused by her jealousy. "'Course not. Yer more than enough woman fer me, runt."

Logan curled up against him, already drifting back to sleep.  "Goodnight, Victor."

"Night, runt."

Logan awoke to feel Victor's talons running gently up and down her stomach while he nibbled on her neck.  She moaned and rolled over to face him.

"Sorry," he grinned.  "Did I wake ya up?"  Logan slid an arm around his neck.  

"Maybe."  He continued his trail up her neck, reaching her ear.  

"Good," he purred, his hands reaching for her waistband.  Logan stopped him.  

"Now is not a good time for that, Creed."  He growled in frustration.

"Why the hell not?"  

"Just trust me," said Logan, placing his hands further north.  

"I've been away from you for three days," said Victor, resuming his removal of her clothes.  "I'm not waitin' any more."  Logan grabbed his wrists and held them between their bodies.

"Let me put it this way, handsome—if we do that right now, there will be little Sabretooths running around here."  Victor's green eyes went wide as quarters.  

"Oh," was all he said.  Logan released him.  

"It's not that I don't want to," she purred, her own hands beginning to explore.  Victor groaned.  

"Don't do this t'me, Logan," he pleaded.  Logan looked up at him with hooded eyes.  

"But I thought you liked it when I did this to you," she teased him.  Victor smirked at her.

"Then you better not start somethin' you can't finish, frail."  

Logan wandered around Victor's study, looking at the exotic and sometimes downright weird artifacts that were placed there.  He looked up from his computer.  "See anything ya like?"

"Where did you get this stuff?" said Logan.  "Unless you spend all your spare time on eBay."  

"Jobs, mostly.  I see something interestin', I take it."  Logan raised an eyebrow.

"You rob your hits?"  

"They're fuckin' dead," Victor explained patiently.  "Not like they need it any more."  Logan shrugged.

"I guess you're right."  She sat in one of his desk chairs and pulled her legs under her.  "Victor?"

"Hmph?"

"What's in that room over there?"  He barely looked up.

"What room?"  Logan rolled her eyes.  

"That one there, the one with the big lock on the door.  I've been here for two months and it's the only room I haven't been in."  

"Oh, that room."

"Yeah."  Logan waited patiently.  "So?  What's in there?"  She grinned.  "The bodies of all your former wives?"  Victor heaved a sigh.

"You wanna see?  Fine."  He got up and went over to the small door, unlocking it with a code.  Logan followed him inside.  They were in pitch darkness for a moment, and then Victor hit a switch and illuminated the walls.  Logan's jaw dropped as she saw what was hanging there.

"Creed, you got severed heads on your walls."  He ran a hand through his hair, looking almost ashamed.

"Yeah.  They're my hits—well, the ones I'm ah, proud of."  Logan turned slowly, examining the dead faces that stared back.

"How did you do this?"

"Larry dabbles in taxidermy."  Logan went closer to one trophy.  

"I know this guy.  Well, knew him."  She turned back to Victor.  "Pretty impressive, Creed."  She smiled.

"Yer not disgusted by my animal ways?"  Logan laughed.

"Nope.  It's kind of…I dunno, sexy."  Victor grinned widely.  

"I love you."   Logan's expression went soft.  

"Really?"  

"No, I'm just sayin' that to get in yer pants," said Victor sardonically.  "Yes, Logan, I love ya.  Just accept it and don't do that woman thing."  Logan came over and wrapped her arms around him.

"I can handle that, I think."  Victor looked down at her.  

"So the trophy room doesn't freak ya out?"  Logan shook her head.

"Nah.  Besides, I've killed ten times as many people as are in here.  I don't really have any room to talk."  Victor led her out and shut the door.  

"You're my kinda woman, Logan."

"Damn skippy, Victor."  

"Babe, I don't know why we have ta get into this again."  Logan crossed her arms in an expression Victor was becoming very familiar with.  It was the 'you better do what I say or else' expression.  

"I never see you, Victor.  I understand that you have your work, but it's not always camping out in the middle of the South American jungle.  You kill people in nice places all the time.  I've seen your airline tickets."  Victor grumbled.

"Look, Logan, if you want me to be perfectly honest—I'd rather not have you around on hits."  Logan rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah, because I'm so frail and delicate and might get in the way.  I used to be an assassin for the CIA, Victor."  

"I know that, darlin', but…"  He sighed.  "I just…don't want ya to see that side of me, okay?"  

"Oh please, Creed.  I've seen nothing but that side of you for the last thirty years." He came over and put his hands on her shoulders.  

"But you're my woman now.  I don't wanna mix up that part of my life with you."  Logan didn't back down.

"Victor, I don't care that you're a hitman.  I wanna get out of this house and go somewhere with you."  She looked up at him with big eyes.  "I miss you."  Victor growled.

"Dammit, I can't think when ya look at me like that."  Logan grinned victoriously.

"I know."  

"Yer an evil woman."  Logan stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

"Yeah, but I'm your woman."

Logan liked Monte Carlo. She lay down on the large, opulent bed and sighed happily, pulling the silk robe tighter around her. Life with Victor wasn't what she was used to, but she was getting to like it. There was something to be said for the finer things in life.

Victor had gone on his hit, and she was waiting up for him. She couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Usually, he stopped by one of his safehouses before coming home, but he'd made it clear to her earlier that this time, he'd have to just come straight back to the hotel. What would he be like fresh off a job?

Victor came in, barely illuminated by the light streaming in from the window. "How'd it go?" Logan asked.

"I'm sorta a mess right now, darlin'. This one was a bleeder. I'll talk to ya when I get out of the bath."

Logan sniffed, her pupils dilating. "Victor, come here."

"Darlin', I'm a mess, really. All gross and bloody."

"You smell good," Logan said, walking over to him. She wasn't sure what it was about him then. Maybe the thrill of the hunt had made him produce more pheromones than usual. She didn't know, and she didn't care. She ran her hands down his chest, licking his neck. "Aren't you hot, Victor?"

"You like me bloody, frail?"

Logan grinned. "I want you so bad right now."

Victor lifted her up, throwing her on the bed. 

Victor did finally get a bath, only he took Logan with him. She leaned back in the large tub, sighing happily. "That was the best ever."

"Tell me about it," Victor said with a dopey grin. "Too bad we have to leave tomorrow. I've been enjoyin' this little trip."

"Why do we have to go tomorrow?"

"'Cause I got a hit back in the states on the 23rd of this month."

Logan paused for a second. "What day is it, Victor?"

"Twenty-first." Victor frowned at Logan's expression. "Somethin' wrong, darlin'?"

"Um, no. I'm fine. Just…tired. You wore me out, you big stud you."

Victor smirked. "C'mere, frail."

Logan looked over at him, wondering if she should chance it. But if the nagging voice in the back of her head was right, the damage would've already been done anyway.

She moved into Victor's arms.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter 19.******

**_If you could see inside my heart   
Then you 'd understand   
I'd never mean to hurt you   
Baby I'm not that kind of man   
  
I might not say I'm sorry   
Yeah, I might talk rough sometimes   
And I might forget the little things   
Or keep you hanging on the line   
  
In a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet   
Boy meets girl and promises we can't forget   
We are cast from Eden's gate with no regrets   
Into the fire we cry   
  
I'd die for you   
I'd cry for you   
I'd do anything   
I'd lie for you   
You know it's true   
Baby I'd die for you   
I'd die for you   
I'd cry for you   
If it came right down to me and you   
You know it's true, Baby I'd die for you   
  
I might not be a savior   
And I'll never be a king   
I might not send you roses   
Or buy you diamond rings   
  
But if I could see inside you   
Maybe I'd know just who we are   
'Cause our love is like a hunger   
Without it we would starve   
  
In a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet   
Boy meets girl and promises we can't forget   
We are cast from Eden's gate with no regrets   
Into the fire we cry_**

Five little blue lines. Damn. She'd hoped she get one that came out negative, so she could further her denial. But no. Blue every fucking time.

"Uh, Logan, you okay? You've been in there a while…"

"I'm fine, Victor! Go away!"

Victor walked off, mumbling something about never being able to understand women.

Logan slumped down, leaning against the counter. What was she going to do? She and Victor couldn't raise a baby. What sort of parents would they be?

She rubbed her hand over her stomach, trying to imagine it as something other than flat. She couldn't. She couldn't picture herself as pregnant, never mind someone's mother. She could imagine the juvenile delinquent rap sheet now.

She stood up with a sigh. She knew she had to tell Victor. 

She opened the bathroom door, straightening herself out. Here went nothing…

Victor stared at her. "Repeat that last part, Logan."

"I'm pregnant, Vic. With child. In a family way. Got a bun in the oven."

Victor held his hand up. "I got it, I got it. How'd it happen? I thought you told me you were makin' sure we only did it, um, when the time was okay."

"I think it was Monte Carlo. I, um, sorta lost my head there."

"Dammit, woman, why'd you go and do a thing like that for!"

Logan glared at him. "You were there, too Victor!"

"Goddamit, Logan!" Victor growled, slamming his hand down on his desk. "What the fuck are we gonna do with a brat?"

"I don't know, put it on the lawn at Christmas time as an elf?" She got quiet. "I don't have to have it, Victor."

Victor's head snapped up. He crossed the room in two strides, grabbing her by the shoulders. "You ain't killin' my kid, frail."

"Well what if I don't want to have it?"

"Then too fuckin' bad. I knocked you up, yer keepin' it."

Logan glared at him. "It's my body, you know."

"What are you afraid of? Yer healin' factor won't take care of saggin' boobs?"

"You're so damn sensitive, Victor."

Victor let her go. "We can handle it, Logan."

"How? Victor, we're not exactly stable individuals."

"I can be a father, Logan. Sure, I may not win any awards fer Dad of the Year, but I can love my kid." He looked away, his voice growing uncharacteristically soft. "I wouldn't do what my father did to me."

Logan wrapped her arms around him gently. "I know, Vic. I know."

He placed his hand on her belly. "So there's someone in there, huh?"

"Yeah."

He smiled, looking down. "Hey, son."

Logan laughed. "How do you know it's a boy?"

"Cause it's my manly sperm."

Logan rolled her eyes. "Yes, Victor, you're such a manimal."

"I'm a what?"

"A manimal."

"What the hell is that?"

"Something Kitty called you once—not quite a man, not quite an animal.  Hence, a manimal."

Victor laughed hard. "Manimal, huh?" He growled. "C'mere, baby—let's mate."

Logan was on her knees in Victor's master bathroom, retching into the toilet while he held her long hair back.  "Doesn't yer healin' factor do anything for this?" he asked.

"No," Logan groaned, sitting up.  Victor handed her a wet washcloth so she could clean off her face.  "I hate this so much," said Logan.  "I haven't kept anything down in days."  Victor grinned down at her.

"I know a way to take yer mind off it."  Logan rubbed her temples.

"No offense, Vic, but I'm not a hundred percent right now."  He crouched down, his hands reaching out.

"You won't have ta move much."  Logan gave him a look of utter contempt.

"Oh yeah, knocking boots on the bathroom floor.  That makes me wanna jump all over you, Victor."  He sighed in frustration.

"Dammit, woman, I have needs too."

"Yeah, and I'm pregnant!"  He frowned.

"What's that supposed ta mean?"

"It means that my needs are a little more important than yours right now, okay?"  He stood up.  

"If that's the way you're gonna be…"  He turned and left.  Logan started to yell something after him, but instead she threw up again.

"Victor!"  Victor sighed.  How had it gotten to this point?  When he had found out Logan was pregnant, he had been happy, almost contented.  But now…

"Victor!"  

"Comin', darlin'!" he shouted back.  Logan was curled on the sofa in the TV room, one hand on her softly swelling stomach.  It was barely noticeable, but it was there.  Victor softened.  "Whaddaya need, babe?"

"Larry told me you were going on a job tonight."  Victor nodded.

"Yep.  Places to go and people to kill."  Logan glowered at him.

"He said you were gonna be gone for a week."

"It's complicated, babe."  He went behind the sofa and started kneading her shoulders with his strong hands.  Logan swatted him away.  Victor's lip curled.  He knew pregnant women were supposed to be cranky, but Logan went beyond even his expectations.  

"Why do you always leave?" she demanded.  

"Not this _again!" Victor snapped.  "I told you, Logan—I'll always be here for you, but there are things I gotta do.  I can't just disappear off the face of the earth for nine months."_

"I think you just don't want to be around me."

"That's fuckin' stupid, Logan.  Even you know that."  She stood up and faced him.

"Well, think about it Victor—I get pregnant and can't be your fuck toy anymore, so what good am I really, right?"  Victor flinched as if she had stuck her claws in him.

"After all this time…you still think that's all ya are to me?"  Logan saw anger blossom on his face.  "If that's how you feel, Logan, you are one cold bitch.  You think I'd put up with all this, you think I'd chase you for so long, just for a romp in the sack?"

"Men have been known to do that."  

"Fuck you, Logan!  I don't say 'I love you' ta just anyone, ya know!"  Logan, having pushed him into fighting with her, looked almost pleased.

"I don't have to put up with this.  I'm out of here."  Victor snorted.

"You'll be back."  Logan raised her chin.

"I don't think so.  I don't think I could raise _my son in this sort of environment."  Victor growled, starting for her, but then he stopped and turned away._

"You know what?  Fine!  You go ahead, frail, and you go live your little life all on yer own!"  He stormed to the door before turning.  "It's been nice knowin' ya."

Victor left.

Logan was in Victor's bedroom packing her things when Larry knocked.  "Go away," Logan told him.  

"Do you need any help packing, ma'am?"  Logan shook her head.

"I just need some peace and quiet, Larry."  Larry nodded and started to leave.  He stopped and came back to face her.

"You know, ma'am, I've never seen Mr. Creed like he is around you."  Logan stopped with a handful of her underwear in her hand.

"Oh really."

"Yes.  He's…you make him happy.  And not in the way the other women do—the ones he had sex with before.  Around you, he's different."  Logan didn't want to hear this—she didn't want to hear anything that would change her mind, increase the doubts that were already there.  "He even let you stay in his room," Larry said.

Logan felt like she'd been punched in the gut.  "What?"

"Mr. Creed never let anyone sleep in his bed before you.  He always threw them out."  He smiled wryly.  "Lots of calling cabs for pissed off women in the middle of the night."  

"Are you serious?" said Logan softly.  Larry nodded.

"Yes ma'am."  He drew himself up to his full height, which brought him about to Logan's nose.  "Don't leave Mr. Creed.  He doesn't deserve it.  I've seen him with you.  He loves you.  A lot."  Logan set her panties down.

"You're a good friend to him, Larry."

"I try to be, ma'am."

"He needs one."

"Yes, ma'am.  And he needs you too."  Logan's mouth quirked.

"Larry?"

"Ma'am?"

"You can call me Logan."  

Victor's shoulders slumped as soon as he got home. The past week had been enough to keep his mind of his domestic problems, but now he had the prospect of coming home to an empty house. 

Logan wasn't the type to threaten to run off and not follow through. She was too skittish. When she made up her mind to take off again, she did. He might be able to find her, but she could hide well. It could take another thirty years.

Victor cursed as he walked up to his door. What if he didn't get to see his son grow up?

He threw his bag on the floor. "Larry, there's a body in the trunk of the Rolls!" he called. "Go do somethin' with it."

From somewhere in the house, Larry grumbled. "I'll be right on it, Mr. Creed."

Victor went up to his room, wondering why he hadn't just followed his usual habit of finding some dark haired woman to take Logan's place when she was gone.

He didn't want anyone else. He wanted her and only her. And that bothered him.

Victor opened his bedroom door and blinked. Logan was stretched out on his bed, wearing a red teddy. "Welcome home, stud."

A grin broke out across Victor's face as he ran to the bed, picking Logan up and spinning around with her. "You're here!"

"Well, yeah, where else would I be?" Logan asked as he put her back down.

"You said you were leaving me."

"I changed my mind." 

"So yer still my woman?" Victor asked.

"Still your woman."

Victor sat on the bed, pulling Logan into his lap and burying his face in her hair. "I was so afraid you were gone, baby. I couldn't stand the thought…"

"I won't leave you," Logan said, kissing his cheek. 

"I don't mean to hurt ya, Logan. I…"

"Shh…" Logan said, putting a finger to his lips. "We both hurt each other, Victor. But it's all right."

Victor laid her back on the bed. "I love you, Logan."

"I know, Victor. Show me."


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Chapter 20.******

**_Is love so fragile and the heart so hollow  
Shatter with words impossible to follow  
You're saying I'm fragile I try not to be  
I search only for something I can't see_**

**_I have my own life  
And I am stronger than you know  
But I carry this feeling  
When you walked into my house  
That you won't be walking out the door_**

**_Lovers forever, face to face  
My city or mountain  
Stay with me stay  
I need you to love me  
I need you today  
Give to me your leather  
Take from me my lace_**

**_You in the moonlight  
With your sleepy eyes  
Could you ever love a man like me  
And you were right  
When I walked into your house  
I knew I'd never want to leave_**

**_Sometimes I'm a strong man  
Sometimes cold and scared  
And sometimes I cry  
But that time I saw you  
I knew with you to light my nights  
Somehow I'd get by…_**

Logan woke up suddenly. Something wasn't right. She sniffed, but didn't smell anything but Victor's scent, close and comforting.

Suddenly, she knew why she'd woken up. A sharp pain shot through her stomach. She sat up. "FUCK!"

Victor's eyes shot open. "Logan?!" He saw her sitting up in the bed, doubled over in pain. "Darlin', what's wrong?"

Logan winced. "I think…I think I'm in labor."

Victor jumped up out of the bed, running to the closet and grabbing the bag Logan had packed for the hospital. He ran out of the room, only to turn back around and go to the bed, picking Logan up. "Sorry."

"LARRY!" Victor hollered. "Larry, get out here."

Larry poked a head out from his door, his hair a mess. He rubbed his bleary eyes. "Yes, Mr. Creed."

"Get the car, Larry. Logan's about ta pop."

"You make me sound like a balloon."

Victor looked down at her. "Well, ya do kinda look like one."

Logan was about to chew him out, when another contraction hit. Victor's face filled with concern. "Darlin', are you gonna be all right?"

"Yeah, sure. Women do this every day. OH FUCK!"

"Dammit, Larry, hurry up!"

Victor took Logan downstairs, putting her gently into the car. He sat beside her in the backseat, holding her hand. "It's gonna be okay. Just squeeze my hand if the pain's too much, okay?"

Logan nodded, taking Victor's hand.

"I love you, Logan," he said, looking down at her soft face.

"I know. I love you, too."

Victor carried Logan into the hospital and up to the front desk. "My woman's about to have a baby. Do something."

The woman behind the counter smiled to herself. "Okay, Mr…"

"Creed. And this is Logan."

"Okay." A nurse rolled a wheelchair around, and Victor hesitantly put Logan in it. "The maternity ward is on floor three. Mr. Creed, let me get some information from you, and then you can go up there with your wife."

Victor's eyes grew wide. "I can't leave her! She's hurtin'!"

Larry stepped up. "I can take care of this, sir. You go with Logan."

The woman from behind the desk looked at Larry. "And who are you?"

"I'm the, um, butler. But trust me, you don't want to separate Mr. Creed and Logan."

The woman decided that the strange little man might have a point. "Right. You can go with your wife, Mr. Creed."

Victor ran to catch up with Logan and the nurse. She cried out in pain again, and Logan looked up at the nurse. "Can't you give her something fer the pain?"

Logan looked up, her face white. "It wouldn't do any good, Victor."

Victor cursed. She was right. Damn healing factor.

The nurse brought Logan into one of the birthing rooms and helped her into the bed. "The doctor with be in just a minute."

Victor set beside Logan's bed, stroking her hair. She looked up at him, smiling a little. "We're going to be parents, Victor."

"Yer gonna be a great mom, Logan. I know it."

Another contraction hit, and she cried out. Victor hated the feeling of helplessness it gave him. His woman was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. He held on to her hand, wishing it would go by quickly.

"You're almost there, Ms. Logan. I have the head. Push."

Logan squeezed Victor's hand, almost tight enough to break the bones. He winced, but didn't say anything. She was hurting more than he was. She pushed as hard as she could.

The room was silent for a second, and then a piercing wail broke through the air. "It's a boy," the doctor announced. 

Victor grinned dumbly. His son… He looked down at Logan. "Ya did it, runt."

She smiled, three hours of labor having taken their toll.

"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord, Mr. Creed?"

"Um, that's okay, you can handle that part," Victor said to the doctor.

The doctor and the nurse washed and swaddled the baby, handing him to his mother. Logan reached up and stroked his face with a finger. "He's beautiful like you, Victor."

He kissed her on the top of the head. "You're the beautiful one, babe."

She handed the baby up to Victor, letting him hold the screaming bundle. Logan closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, then opened them and looked up at her family.

"Mrs. Creed, would you like to feed your son?"  Logan looked at the nurse in the doorway of her room, holding her baby.  She had given up on trying to tell the hospital workers she wasn't a _Mrs._ anything.  

"Yes, I would."  The nurse put the baby in her arms and left.  She passed Victor on her way out.  

"Hello there, Mr. Creed!" she chirped.  "Your wife and son are waiting for you."  Victor grinned at Logan.

"Yer my wife, huh?"

"Drop it, Creed."  He sat on the edge of the bed while the baby nursed.  

"Ya know, we need to name the little sucker."  Logan nodded.  

"I've been thinking about that too.  You have any ideas?"  

"Victor Creed, Jr.," said Victor as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  Logan shook her head.

"No.  I am not naming my child that."

"What's wrong with my name, dammit?"

"It's yours, Victor."  

"Hey," he looked offended, "what's that supposed ta mean?"  

"I mean the kid has less chance of turning out to be a mass murdering psychotic if we name him something _else_, alright?"  Victor grumbled.

"I guess yer right," he said finally.  "Maybe we should give the kid a fresh start."  He reached for the baby, who snarled at him with a tiny, toothless mouth.  Victor drew back.  "Damn, he's a vicious little thing already."  

His eyes lit up and he turned to Logan.  "Hey…"  Logan looked worried.

"What now?"  

"That's it!" Victor exclaimed.  "Vicious Creed!"  Logan dropped her head into her hands.

"Victor…"

"We can shorten it to Vic!" Victor exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear as if he were the smartest man in the world.  Logan could tell there would be no changing his mind—even if the kid was legally named something else, he'd always be Vicious to his father.  

"Okay," she said finally.  "I guess there are worse names.  Like, ya know, Mac or Scott or something…"  

"Vicious…" said Victor happily, looking down at his son.  Vicious gave his attempt at a growl, looking up at his father with his huge deep blue eyes.  

"He's got yer eyes, runt.  Yer hair too, for that matter."  He gave her an evil look.  "Ya sure the kid's mine?"  Logan punched him in the shoulder.

"Guess your manly DNA let you down in the looks department, Creed."  

"Hey, not while I'm holdin' our brat," he chuckled.  Logan smiled back.  Vicious began to cry, having been away from his mother for too long.  Victor handed him back.  

"You scream louder than yer mom, kiddo."  Logan gave him another one of her looks.  Victor fled the hospital room before she could hit him again.

Logan looked up at Victor's huge mansion as Larry pulled the car into the driveway. Her initial opinion of Victor's house had been that it appeared dark and foreboding, but in the months she'd spent living there, her opinion had changed. Like Victor himself, the house appeared hard and unapproachable on the outside, but once you got past the walls, you realized there was a warmth inside.

Larry parked the car, and Victor walked around to the other side of the car, helping Logan and Vicious out. The three of them walked up to the door, coming home together as a family for the first time.

Logan felt an unfamiliar feeling rush over her, and it took her a moment to place it. _Contentment_. She had what she'd always searched for, what she'd longed for since a time she couldn't remember. She laughed to herself, realizing she'd found it in the unlikely place of Victor Creed.

She looked over at Victor, noticing the pleasant look on his face as he watched his lover and son, and realized that he felt the same thing she did. For the first time in her life, Logan didn't want to run. She wanted to stay, put down roots. 

She'd found a home, and she'd never leave it.


	22. Song Credits

Logan and Victor's Luv Mix:

"The River and the Highway"

Pam Tillis

"She Talks to Angels"

Black Crowes

"Somebody to Love"

Jefferson Airplane

"Piece of My Heart"

Janis Joplin

"Make Me Bad"

Korn

"I Still Miss Someone"

Johnny Cash

"Welcome to The Jungle"

Guns N' Roses

"A Case of You"

Joni Mitchell

"Time After Time"

Cyndi Lauper

"Freebird"

Lynyrd Skynyrd

"Till I Gain Control Again"

Emmylou Harris

"This Ain't a Love Song"

Bon Jovi

"Tangled Up in Blue"

Bob Dylan

"Honky Tonk Women"

Rolling Stones

"I Hate Myself for Loving You"

Joan Jett

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn"

Poison

"Crazy"

Aerosmith

"Hole in my Soul"

Aerosmith

"If You're Gone"

Matchbox 20

"Right Kinda Wrong"

LeAnn Rimes

"I'd Die for You"

Bon Jovi

"Leather and Lace"

Stevie Nicks and Don Henley 


End file.
